Leaked emails are all the rage these days. In the spirit of the times I thought I would post some emails before the NYT beats me to it. After all there is nothing so disconcerting as waking up to find your personal life is the lead of the news.
Sven – My dear Urspo when I told you not to fill your blog with rubbish about your work I meant of course not to write about pills and procedures. What the readers want it filth. Tell them about the patients’ lurid and licentious sex lives. You can make it up, they won’t know.
Bjorn – I have a suggestion. Abjure your habit of using semi-colons. No one uses them; periods work just as well.
Helga “Pippi” Long-stocking – Mein Liebchen! Would you be a Mensch and send me the recipe for ‘Muffins Without Peer’? I have several bunches of bad bananas and the boys won’t touch them. Danke. On the topic of food.. I hear you are about to produce a cookbook? What talents you have! I wonder if it is too late to include my famous reindeer casserole. You remember it from Yule parties. It is always a hit and I remember you ate it with relish. Tchuss!
Snorri Sturlson the 23rd – Ok buster, I’ve traced the cups of half consumed beverages cluttering up the board room to Urs Truly. As they are filled with nasty brown liquids made from dry leaves this could only be yours. J’accuse! as the Gauls say. Tidy this up as soon as possible and I don’t want to hear any more excuses including the one about the cup fairies. They don’t exist.
Slater-Wotan – Say, I got a great idea for the blog. Why don’t you write an entry “Bloggers I’d like to f-ck”? The stats would soar and the comments would be interesting and besides no one is interested anymore in Walking the Dog.
Oscar ‘Bunny’ Jarl – Spo-man if you are done with the baku would you please pop it in the post? I hope you haven’t spoiled it too much.
Walter Cnut Fafner– We all want to know when the hell are you going to change your blog’s format. It’s been ten years of the same-old same-old background. After all there is nothing like a new tunic to brighten up your day. I’ve talked with the others and they agree with me you should do something, anything – at least colour the background or use runes. Just do something. The place looks like a blogger.com discard. Why can’t you be more like Mitchell is Moving?
Herbert – Jeg nekter å skrive i lav-brow engelsk. Jeg tror kanskje det er på tide å skrive mer om den engelske spise gnagere som ruller og svømme ned gresskledde åser.
25 comments
July 12, 2017 at 9:44 PM
Kato
Dette er for Herbert.
July 12, 2017 at 11:26 PM
Raybeard
Spray-on police uniforms? (At least for the lower regions). This is so disgusting, I wish….. nay, DEMAND…. that they be made compulsory!
July 13, 2017 at 6:53 AM
Urspo
Oh no!
I am about to be inundated with BOD emails. I wonder if they will be approving or damning
July 13, 2017 at 8:21 AM
Raybeard
Oh, just delete any of the latter – if there are any!
July 12, 2017 at 9:54 PM
Kato
Walter Cnut Fafner – he’s changed the way he spells “judgement”.
July 13, 2017 at 6:54 AM
Urspo
You are WCF seem to be in cahoots as the Grammar Geeks here at Spo-reflections.
July 13, 2017 at 2:25 AM
Practical Parsimony
You are right. Get these out before they are leaked!
July 13, 2017 at 6:54 AM
Urspo
Twitter would be all ablaze over these emails but for Hair Furor shooting off his mouth about not watching TV. Once again it is all about him.
July 13, 2017 at 3:26 AM
anne marie in philly
sven & wotan have some good ideas. do listen!
July 13, 2017 at 6:55 AM
Urspo
You are a wicked old screw and should apply for a Board Membership
July 13, 2017 at 3:03 PM
anne marie in philly
hee hee hee! and who you calling “old”?
July 13, 2017 at 3:41 AM
David
I recommend against running for political office, except for Sheriff in your local county.
July 13, 2017 at 6:56 AM
Urspo
Given all my shenanigans I wouldn’t qualify for political office even at the clerical level
July 13, 2017 at 3:47 AM
Todd Gunther
Spo, at the next BoD meeting wave a manilla envelope at them and say something like, “I have found some dirt (no rubbish) on one of you! What’s more I have knowledge about the youth organization which was involved and the shop where you bought the equipment!” Even if they call your bluff it should make for a most interesting BoD meeting,
Great e-mails by the way.
July 13, 2017 at 6:57 AM
Urspo
Oh I did that once before it didn’t work out. One thing I’ve learned is not to threaten the Board as their blunt responses are hazardous to my digits.
July 13, 2017 at 10:51 AM
Calvin
Agree with Slater-Wotan, move that blog idea to the front of the topic list and it should include pictures of Guido & some mayo. Er disse Tewkessbury gnavere?
July 13, 2017 at 1:16 PM
Urspo
Dear me! Spo-fans are turning out to be as truculent and licentious as Board Directors. As for Herbert – my Norwegian is not very good but I think he is saying something about the rats in Tewksbury.
July 13, 2017 at 12:52 PM
Willym
In my day if you had a leak there was a clinic where you didn’t have to give your name. Or you called a plumber!
July 13, 2017 at 1:14 PM
Urspo
I don’t call the plumber as he was the man who gave me the leak in the first place.
July 13, 2017 at 2:35 PM
Willym
Okay I think at this point that too much information has been leaked.
July 13, 2017 at 5:29 PM
Old Lurker
And here I thought the foreign dignitaries were going to consist of Laurent and Willym.
Slater-Wotan is wrong about the walking the dog entries. Also we all wish we could be more like Mitchell is Moving. And Snorri sounds as if he may be a double-agent for Someone.
July 13, 2017 at 9:16 PM
Urspo
Snorri hasn’t been laid since the time of Alfred the Great. No wonder he’s so irascible
July 14, 2017 at 12:56 PM
larrymuffin
Well thank God you left the emails from potentates in PEI off this post.
July 14, 2017 at 12:59 PM
Urspo
The Board sent a rather truculent text if I publish PEI email I won’t be alive by August.
July 15, 2017 at 1:43 PM
larrymuffin
LOL!!! the board knows what is good for you.