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Last night the provisional plan was for me to drop off Someone at his job as an usher and then go hang out at our favorite pub for “Show tunes Saturday”. I was to keep myself occupied for a few hours until his work was a done and he would join me.  To my chagrin the entire block in which the bar resides was barricaded for some sort of ‘old car parade’. The clever police had barricaded all the entrances; there was no way to get in. I suspected the bar was going to be closed anyway. I thought of driving home but on the way to the highway I spotted Diablos.  This bar is one of those places that seems to have a new name and owner every year or so.  What the hell, I haven’t been to it in a while, and I can sit there as any place. I made my ingress figuring I would see the usual handful of drag queens and Scruff minions.

Well! Diablo has gone butch. The walls were covered in large screens, all playing various sports events. One was the UM game, something I haven’t seen in years. The patrons looked suspiciously straight other than two old queens in the back. I ordered a beer – in a bottle! and sat down to watch the game.
I felt very virile sitting. Of course the straight-acting facade was blown away by the fact I had with me several Gourmet and Bon Apetit magazines from which I scrutinized for recipes. The waiter served me obsequiously but perhaps with a bit of skepticism for I wasn’t wearing any sports gear and I ordered the hummus and vegetable plate.

It was a jolly time I suppose, although I continuously missed most of the major plays having my nose in the magazines. At one point UM had a touchdown or something.

As the time approached to leave to the place began to fill up with gentleman all light in the loafers. One was wearing a MSU jersey, much to the amusement of his confreres. “Is that important to you?” they asked him, pointing to the UM/MSU game (which was looking quite rained-upon).  The lads were well over four feet all had brown/black hair. I feel more like an old queen each day. No one asked me what the hell I was doing sitting with a bunch of torn out recipes.

I drove away and picked up Someone and we went to a proper gay bar viz. no sports and no screens but lovely talk and exquisite cocktails served by a charming young lad was also well over four feet. I taught him how to make a dry manhattan, no rubbish.  Later I heard UM lost – another one. Oh well. I have a handful of fabulous holiday cookie recipes as consolation.


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