I am nearly done making a shirt and I am not certain if I will finish it.  As I worked on it this weekend, I am sensed a strong desire to stop and throw it away despite it being nearly done. In all my years of making Spo-shirts, was is the first time I have felt such.  

Once upon a time I used to feel obliged to finish a book or a meal ordered in a restaurant even when I wasn’t no longer enjoying it. Nowadays I don’t force myself to do either – so is it OK to do so with sewing projects?

The shirt in question doesn’t have a major fault to it but rather an accumulation of little disappointments.  The pattern is a whimsical assortment of tropical birds on a bright white background I now find a bit puerile.  Sometimes I buy fabric I think will be fabulous only to grow disenchanted with it as it evolves into an actual shirt.  This ‘Toucan” shirt has a lot of minor blips and errors to it – things I should be better at avoiding by now.  The seams have a jagged edge to them just enough to make me displeased.  Said shirt merely needs the buttonholes and buttons to be concluded, but the joy is gone. 

I thought of finishing it and posting a photo here at Spo-reflections or on Facebook and announcing ‘It’s yours if you want it. Free Spo-shirt !” I would count the raised hands (if any) and make it into a lottery. Out of vanity I probably won’t do this. With its blips and hiccups I would be embarrassed to have someone receive it. This runt of the litter may  have to stay home and be back in the closet, where I can look at it from time to time, and feel guilt both to discard it and to keep it. 

Perhaps I am being too hard on myself. Maybe I have obtained the wisdom not all my work will be wonderful or worth keeping. Despite the time and energy (and expense) I put into these shirts, it is OK to crumble them up like paper of a bad sketch and into the rubbish it goes. 

All the same, it is a bit of a downer to feel a disappointment. It is one thing to put up with a tedious job but a tedious hobby makes no sense. 


Update:  soon after I wrote this I went into the other room and finished it.