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Vexed

Last night I attended The Santa Fe Opera production “Dr. Atomic” which was about the detonation of the atomic bomb. It was a profound piece.  We got to hear the scientists and military men realizing what they were doing would not only change war but the world. There is a Great History Course “ The World was never the same: Events that changed history”. The lecture series relates events that changed things for good or bad. The opera made me think of my own personal “The World was never the same”.  Here’s a few of them: 

Being gay – I remember the moment: I was six years old. I was doodling. The pictures I was drawing became more erotic and I found myself becoming aroused by their contents. I had no words at the time for what I was experiencing.  I remember feeling amazed, puzzled, and disturbed. I felt something click as if something had just fallen apart. I was not on the course I/the world thought I would take. 

Father’s sciatica  I was my high school days when Father developed a slipped disc which made him bedridden. He was in a lot of pain. Eventually this was fixed via surgery. Up until then I saw my ageless parents as all-doing and all-powerful and they would always be there. It was then I realized they were mortal; they would not always be around to guide or save me. 

Death of Grandfather  – He died suddenly in an car accident in 1976. I make it as the end of childhood; it was my first  encounter with death of a family member. 

Going to medical school  Urs Truly had all sorts of career notions: drawing for Walt Disney; music (organ);  English (whether history or literature).  I haven’t regretted my choice to emulate my pediatrician, but I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I had become a professor or musician. 

Ronald Reagan – I grew up in a Republican family. However, Mr. Reagan flipped the switch in me. I wanted to vote for what was best for the most people, not what is best just for me. The GOP wasn’t offering it at the time, so I went Independent than Democrat. I’ve been a bleeding heart liberal ever since. I am willing to vote GOP again if and when they ever offer a candidate who would do well for the average Joe. Fat chance of that. 

Meeting Someone – I figured I would live a life as  a roue with jet set living and spontaneous events and a series of lovers. in 1997 while I was away on one of these bachelor holidays and when I wasn’t looking to do so I met Someone.  Ah love. 🙂

Blogging – The decision to write on line is no small turning point in my life. Not only has it allowed me to scratch that itch to be a ‘great writer’ it opened up a network of friends. What an amazing journey this has been. 

Trying whisky – I think it was in my 40s I tried some of the brown stuff for the first time to see what all the fuss was about. This one isn’t so profound but there it is. 

Reaching 50 – I suppose this changing point isn’t as fateful as the others as if one waits long enough 50 happens.  However it changed my life from ‘making it’ to ‘finishing it’. This is the part of life Jungian psychology focuses upon. As Mary Oliver wrote: 

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? 

Indeed.  

I would enjoy hearing from you an event in your life that changed you so the world was never the same. 

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