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The Board of Directors Here at Spo-Reflections are a little peeved I haven’t ‘put out’ as it were. They are rather unsympathetic with my explanations about work and time restraints. Normally they merely threaten with setting fires to public buildings or causing me bodily harm. This evening they sent an email with the ominous title “CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATION”.  Attached to the succinct note ‘Read this” is a PDF of a lengthy contract dated from 2006 when the blog started. Translated from the Runes, it says I am required to write on a regular frequency as determined by The Board. It also says I promise to make whatever mutually satisfactory accommodations necessary to reduce tensions and arrive at whatever previously agreed-upon goals both parties have harmoniously set in the appropriate planning sessions. The section on punishments – if the suzerain (them) is not satisfied by the minion (Urs Truly) – is profusely illustrated and there isn’t a dull page in it. The wretched thing is signed in blood, apparently mine.

I smell a rat. The fustian words are far beyond their taciturn concrete Viking lexicon and I have no memory of this document let alone signing such. Until I find an impolitic attorney to challenge it I better write something pronto. Being vindicated in a court of law months hence would be small comfort for today’s missing digits. 

It’s hard to be creative or funny under such duress. Happily the fine print doesn’t say the entry has to be ‘good’  just there. 

I have dry skin this week; it is so bad it itches. I’ve had to put on lotion, which was a relief.  I guess the shower water temperature should be less hot.

There.

Come back this weekend when I am under less duress.