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office

Some folks have jobs in which they move about; they are constantly on foot at the workplace or driving/flying to interact with clients. My job is the opposite: I sit still and my clients (A.K.A. patients) travel to see me. Some of them (the dears!) travel a long way. Some come from other states rather than find some local doctor. I listen to peoples’ comings and goings while ensconced and sessile in my chair.

This iniquitous arrangement makes me sometimes jealous. This was apparent the other day when “Peer” showed up for his appointment. He pops in every 3-4 months for a routine check-up. As usual he’s a bit late to return to clinic as he’s been vagabonding.  As I escorted Peer into the office it seemed to me he’s aged – not in a bad way but simply I’ve watched him grow older. Peer reported he was fine and he feels a fortunate fellow. He is retired; he has a cabin in northern Arizona that he adores. When he isn’t there he is traveling – a lot  – for he loves it so. After a few formalities to convey he’s steady and the meds are worth continuing I asked what’s coming up. Oh, he replied, he’s traveling to Chile ‘for the millionth time” to hop a cruise ship to NYC. Maybe afterwards he may visit Canada, he isn’t sure, or perhaps he will just relax at said cabin.

On his way out he joked he’s seen me growing old which makes sense as ‘I’ve been coming here for five years or so”. I looked this up: we first saw each other in 2005 – 14 years ago.  This made him laugh and he doubled his gratitude for my care taking. Well, see you after I get back from South America and he waved good-bye.

I went home that night feeling a bit melancholy. We have watched each other grow old and the years have flown by. The difference is he’s circled the globe countless times while I, Solveig-like, have stayed home. In a way it seems a disappointment to spend one’s life growing old in chair watching others live out their lives.

A lot of my success at being a shrink and as a physician is being constant. In a world of perpetual change my patients appreciate I’ve been there for nearly fifteen years and counting. I hang in with them while they go on their peripatetic tumultuous Journeys. I’ve received many thanks for ‘doing well for me’ based not so much on making them better but just being there.

All the same, I don’t want another 5-10 years of watching patients grow old. It is very difficult for me to take time off from work but it isn’t impossible. I don’t want to see Peer in another ten years under similar circumstances. It’s time for me to get out and be more than everyone’s rock.   I can be both Peer and Solveig.

journeys

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