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One of my favorite podcasts “Hello from the Magic Tavern” starts with the three hosts introducing themselves. There is Arnie and then there is Chunt. Finally there is Usidore the blue. He always lists in a boisterous proud voice his many names: 

“I am Usidore, Wizard of the 12th Realm of Ephysiyies, Master of Light and Shadow, Manipulator of Magical Delights, Devourer of Chaos, Champion of the Great Halls of Terr’akkas. The elves know me as Fi’ang Yalok. The dwarfs know me as Zoenen Hoogstandjes. And I am also known in the Northeast as Gaismunēnas Meistar.”

He adds he has lots of other secret names that if said would cause death, destruction, or grown men to pull their own heads off etc.  It’s humorous but it illustrates the importance of names. 

Our names are so integral we forget how important they are. I use the plural as we get many names throughout our lifetime. The name we get at birth is very important for it sets the stage for what maybe a lifetime of association. [1] 

Whenever we enter a stage of life we get a new name. When we are confirmed or when we wed our names change. We get add-ons when we get a degree. Stages of birth give us other new names such as mom, dad, uncle/aunt or grandma. Popes, monarchs, drag queens, and writers spend long and careful hours establishing their names to compliment their new personae and being.  Names are serious stuff. 

Here are the names I’ve had in life: 

Michael Charles: birth name

Mike: childhood name  

Red bird: Indian Guides name

Rocky: my childhood nickname until the movie came out and ruined it for me. 

Tiny: brothers’ name for me when they outgrew me.

Mick: Brother #2’s name for me and still is

Trollbreath: my dungeons and dragons name. 

Doctor: upon graduation from medical school. 

‘D.R’. : ASL sign name – an “R” put unto the wrist where one takes a pulse). 

John: upon religious confirmation 

Urspo: writer of blogs

Spo: nickname on the internet. 

Uncle Mike: after the niblings arrived

The second Mrs. Someone: when I got hitched.  [2] 

We often have several names going at once depending on the circumstances. At work I am addressed differently than among family or chums.  Most names are given to us (some not wanted) but a few we choose ourselves to commemorate a special passage of life. From a psychological point of view a new name is required at these times.  

Since I don’t envision advancing further in life I sense I won’t have any more new names.  I suppose if I have a sex change I can become Martha which was to be my original name until things went not as expected. If I should obtain apotheosis a new name will be required. [3]

Meanwhile I am content with the names I have -more or less. Just don’t call me Tiny. 

 

 

[1] Names can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Names like Maude, Martha, or Agnes will set a girl on a different path than say Tiffany, Jennifer, or Barbara. 

[2] I have lots of other secret names that if said would cause death, destruction, or grown men to pull their own heads off.

[3] God-Emperor sounds groovy. 

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