A pet peeve of mine is parking at the grocery store to discover some lazy lout has left their shopping cart in the middle of the lot rather than walking a few steps to put it properly back in the cart corral. Oh the frustration. I will grab said cart (for I will need one) and bring it into the store with me to do my shopping. Last night at the deli counter while waiting for Godot I looked down into my empty black cart to see the previous driver of had left behind (face down) their black covered cellphone. Being Midwestern I immediately felt sheepish someone would soon be running into the store in a swivet  and accuse me of stealing her phone.* I turned it over to see if I could possibly find a way to call someone (perhaps the last caller) and explain the situation and would you be so kind to try to contact the poor unfortunate soul their phone is at the deli?  That too evoked anxiety I would be seen as some sort of perv who purposely pinched the thing and is now taunting them for ransom. This neurosis was thwarted by necessity of needing a passcode to open up the phone so no such luck – a relief in a way.  In the end I decided Godot wasn’t coming and I really didn’t need cole slaw anyway so I toted said cart with its contraband over to ‘customer care’ where I explained the situation.  The young woman behind the counter didn’t laud me for my thoughtfulness but took the phone with a slight acknowledgment ‘that’s a bummer” and went on to whatever she was doing before I had so rudely interrupted her.

This is a classic case of calling the kettle black, for I am constantly misplacing my phone. In my case (pun intended) mine is enclosed in a bright fluorescent red plastic wrap that is easily spotted yards away which is the point. Apart from my hummingbird brain that tends to misplace all things not actually connected to my person I suspect there is an unconscious part of me that would dearly love to lose the beastly thing and be free of it.  However losing ones phone isn’t just an inconvenience but a major security risk. These things are full up with data and access to all sorts of things thieves are on the look out for.  One does not take the loss of the cellphone lightly.

I won’t know what became of the black cellphone. Did Mr. or Mrs. Loser run back into Albertsons only minutes after I left to ask (and receive) said lost object, or did they go on to a new life without? I like to think they returned and when they discovered some nice person had turned it in they thought a silent thanks and prayer for my wellbeing. Probably the customer service person would just hand it and the recipient would rush out without even a thank you. If I believed in karma I would hope my good Boy Scout move will somehow shower me with good luck. Fat chance of that. It is Friday morning as I type this; I am facing a work day from hell with seven count’em seven new patients. I will be spending all the weekend doing paperwork.  Let’s hope my lack of faith in karma is proved wrong and many of them are no-shows.

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*I don’t have any real reason to assume it was a woman who had lost their phone. My limited experience with the dames suggests they misplace their phone more than the dudes. This is based on my patients who often leave in my office all sorts of items. Here’s who leaves behind their phones the most: women, the elderly, the anxious, and thems with co-pay problems.