Note: this is one of those entries slowly written over a long period of time, done in piecemeal whenever there is a few minutes repose from what I ought to be doing. These patchwork posts tend to be a bit incoherent. I don’t edit them much, as the tangents have their charms I suppose. – Spo
My brain seems to have snapped a tether as it is inoperable at the moment. Normally it flits about like a hummingbird but not this week. Perhaps it is the heat. We are having record highs (again) and this makes any actions foolish – best to just sit around in ones boxers and not move nor think. I looked up the average age of a hummingbird: it is 3-5 years*. It’s a miracle mine has lasted this long.
There’s been more turnover of staff at work. Currently the two incarnations of The Wonder Receptionist are two men. This is a new situation for Urs Truly. Usually I have young ladies handmaidens but they have been exchanged for a couple of male minions. The fellows are polite and obsequious; they address me as “Sir’ or “Dr. Spo”. I address them with the title ‘Mister’ for I despise first name basis relationships especially in an iniquitous arrangement.. As a consequence we sound like “Are you being served?”. They are Mr. Humphries and Mr. Lucas to my Captain Peacock. Both of them are well over four feet but also well under thirty years old and would not have a clue to this reference (hopefully older Spo-fans get the gist). I mentioned this situation to Someone who shrugged and said perhaps they can get me a glass of water when I am vexed.
It has only taken two years but I think I am finally having the Helen Keller “wah-wah” metanoia in my Spanish lessons. I am reading at a sixth grade level; I hear a basic conversation in Spanish and get its points. Unfortunately I haven’t had much if any chance to actually speak Spanish. What comes out of my mouth could be labeled as comically painful. It’s funny how small talk is quite easy to do in ones native tongue but when you try to do it in a new language I can’t think of anything to say other than how is your dog and what color is your hat – hardly worth asking.
Spo-fans will be happy to know I am nearly done sorting my recipe collection into taxonomies and editing out the redundancies and the now-sounding-not-so-good recipes.** They cover the dining room table I think much to the chagrin of Someone. We’ve not used our dining room table in years so I don’t see why it can’t be put to use as a very large desk. I hope soon to put them all in tidy well-organized brown accordion files and that concludes that stage in the process. Then – make them?
I had a sudden revelation last week it’s not that I can’t manage time well it’s I want to do too much.
I have such a desire to knock heads together – I can’t remember now what that’s about but I daresay it is a discreet reference to FB statements or patience up to no good or something on CNN. Come to think of it just about everything on CNN makes me want to knock heads together or move to New Zealand.
It’s noon on Tuesday and I would give any thing for a bag of nasty chips with a big bowl of dip (rubbishy is OK) but I can’t because I am trying not to eat trash so I will have a lean cuisine page 71 indeed.
*I also looked up the average velocity of an unladen swallow. It is about 24 miles per hour or 11 meters per second.
**I see I tore out several versions of Coq au vin only to realize now it doesn’t sound worth it. Living in the Southwest with all its spicy chilies has made French cuisine dull and tasteless.
26 comments
August 20, 2019 at 2:03 PM
David Godfrey
I see you more as Mr Grainger, my ambition is to be young Mr Grace, you’ve all done very well.
August 20, 2019 at 2:07 PM
Urspo
I thought the show went a bit off with the sudden departure of Mr. Grainger
The two young medical assistances make me feel like young Mr. Grace by merely being around them. .
August 20, 2019 at 2:34 PM
anne marie in philly
“Currently the two incarnations of The Wonder Receptionist are two men” – are they handsome? every office needs some eye candy. my boss is my treat; he’s 1/2 my age, he is a good leader, and he goes commando.
August 20, 2019 at 2:46 PM
Urspo
They are fine looking lads – but nothing of my style. They can work safely assured I am not wicked old screw. 🙂
August 20, 2019 at 3:33 PM
Steven
Yes.. so I admit I’m picturing you in your underwear, thank you for that, no really thank you for that! 😉
Does either of those gentlemen inform you that it’s tea time? Maybe at the moment, ice tea time?
August 20, 2019 at 3:42 PM
Urspo
One drinks coffee. however I make coffee using fresh ground beans so my coffee is a hit. The other hints to like a proper cup of tea, so next time I make any let’s see if he appreciates such.
August 20, 2019 at 3:50 PM
Old Lurker
I like your new header image, but I hope it did not make Someone jealous. (I presume that is/was not Someone, but I have never been clear on exactly how you two met.)
Maybe it is time to set up a betting pool to see how long the new Wonder Receptionists last. But who would participate?
Eating a lean cuisine page 71 does not sound appetizing at all. One imagines the paper has gone stale by that point. Couldn’t you snack on an earlier page?
August 20, 2019 at 7:45 PM
Urspo
I met Someone at a Key West happy hour.
He is never jealous of me kissing frogs.
people come and go so quickly here.
August 20, 2019 at 4:05 PM
Todd Gunther
But Grandpa, it’s too effin hot for oatmeal…damned or otherwise!
August 20, 2019 at 7:46 PM
Urspo
Eat your damned oatmeal.
August 21, 2019 at 11:57 AM
Infinite Jester
My maternal grandfather preferred his cold.
August 20, 2019 at 6:09 PM
Robzilla In CA
Every time I read about the new receptionists, I wonder if this is anything like Murphy Brown. She had a new one every episode.
August 20, 2019 at 7:46 PM
Urspo
I am not privy to why they come and go. I am curious if there is an underlying theme. I suspect most go because the pay is better elsewhere.
August 21, 2019 at 11:59 AM
Infinite Jester
I was wondering if the inconstancy of the Wonder Receptionists had ever been addressed. Having worked in a few medical offices, I would suspect the practice manager (since I know in this case that the doctors are above reproach, or at least one of them).
August 20, 2019 at 6:45 PM
Parnassus
That’s the problem with older recipes. They rarely fit into today’s world, unless you pick and choose carefully, or like to adapt.
–Jim
August 20, 2019 at 7:47 PM
Urspo
It is amusing to read old recipes and think how on earth these were considered appetizing by today’s tastes.
August 21, 2019 at 3:38 AM
Paul Brownsey
Have you tried Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise?
August 21, 2019 at 7:07 AM
Urspo
Oh this song is a favorite of mine! Someday I plan to make it just to see. It turns out this is no joke but an actual recipe.
August 20, 2019 at 11:11 PM
wcs
Make coq au vin with a southwestern twist! Recipes are written in ink, not stone. Oh, I like that one!
August 21, 2019 at 7:02 AM
Urspo
When we make anything it usually ends with a southwestern twist viz. habanero salt or whatever hot sauce is at hand.
August 21, 2019 at 3:34 AM
Paul Brownsey
” I address them with the title ‘Mister’ for I despise first name basis relationships”
Whenever I complain to Customer Services about something they have the impudence to reply, “Dear Paul”. Perhaps they are told it’s ‘friendly’ and that I will think nicely of the organisation that has sold me duff goods or messed up my days.
First-name relationships can be undermining in situations where you have to exercise authority. I had an idle student whom I had to phone up and tell that he’d be thrown off the course unless his essay was in in the next 24 hours; his fulsome, “Oh, that’s Paul isn’t it? Hello, Paul;? How are you doing, Paul?” made my task a little harder.
August 21, 2019 at 7:03 AM
Urspo
well said!
I despise ‘first name’ societies. This tries to make us all friends or siblings or informal or egalitarian. Robert Bly wrote a good book on this topic: it does not do us good.
August 21, 2019 at 5:17 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
Do you also address your young lady handmaidens as “Miss” or “Ms”?
August 21, 2019 at 7:06 AM
Urspo
They’ve been a curious experience for me. I first try using Mrs. (as most are married). unless like the men (who don’t object to being called Mister) they tell me to call me by their first name that’s OK. I like to go with the rule “call people what they want to be called” but first names still bother me. So – they are Ms. or Miss (as in the Southern title of endearment).
‘Go ask Ms. Janet to scheduled you in four weeks” I may say to a patient. Or, “Miss Tammy did the mail come in?”
August 21, 2019 at 2:59 PM
Debra She Who Seeks
I’m glad you’re even-handed in your approach.
August 21, 2019 at 11:57 PM
Moving with Mitchell
Oatmeal (damned or not) isn’t meant to be consumed during a heatwave. Your extended mess on the dining room table would drive me nuts.