Writing when you have nothing to write seems a bit balmy. I’ve heard many great writers recommend doing this as a means of keeping ‘in the habit’ and being open for inspiration. Unfortunately none of my usual inspirational archetypes seem open to such. I am Gogo waiting for Godot. Having a blank mind open for what may come up is the cornerstone of the psychoanalytical the process so I shouldn’t be too skeptical about typing away hoping something takes over my fingers and produces great prose. This makes the keyboard a sort of Ouija board. Let’s see what happens.

I remember trying free-association for the first time when I was in a Freudian-based analysis. Sitting across from the silent shrink silently while he smoked did not inspire me to free-associate however. Rather I clammed up feeling put on the spot.  My hummingbird mind was preoccupied with getting back to work and mundane worries which was not what he was after. I daresay I was a disappointment to him. Freudians have a tendency to lump not talking or ‘wrong’ conversations into the common category of ‘resistance to treatment’ and wonder why you are not cooperating.  In hindsight this sounds rather sinister doesn’t it?  I suppose I did speak up in time; I don’t remember much of our time together other than he wouldn’t stop smoking even at my request He merely interpreted as another resistance to the Father Figure AKA Oedipal complex.  My less than stellar interpretation was the request he not smoke in our session was based on common sense courtesy and besides that I was paying him big bucks to tighten my lose screws and breathing in his tobacco smoke was impeding my process.  I also remember him saying I was a ‘love slave’ to my mother’s desires which was bad I suppose. Later I learned he had died of lung cancer so who was the worse slave to what is debatable.

Funny how this free associated blog entry ended up back on the couch at The Psychoanalytical Institute of Chicago. I just had a look-see yes it is still there. I wonder how it is thriving. In the 70s/80s the libidinous lyceum was quite prominent back when psychoanalysis was ‘the’ psychiatric treatment. I wonder if the current members smoke in their sessions.  Who can say.  Looking at their portrait pictures I don’t see anyone I fancy being their love-slave, so I guess that means I was cured of that neurosis after all.