Thursday last my father texted me. This was extraordinary as he has never me before. At first I thought it was some scam or a brother perhaps pulling me leg but it really was Father. After playing twenty questions with him via text I learned Brother #3 got him a new phone to replace the antiquated ‘flip’ phone which he never used anyway. Now that my parents are sort of dependent on a cellphone at their new place they might as well use one under the careful supervision of Brother #3. I asked Father if he wanted to join the text group consisting of his progeny. To my surprise he declined. He explained he doesn’t plan on texting much and he likes the phone off more than on to keep away the outside world.*
I admit I am envious. My phone is also my pager so it stays on and nearby even as I sleep lest there is a work matter. I am continually drawn to it whenever it chirps, buzzes, and rings and even when it is silent just to see what’s there. As mentioned I am in a few ‘text groups’. These suddenly start and everyone joins in with little if any taking turns until it all drops off as quick as it had appeared.
My godfather doesn’t have a cellphone; the only means to get hold of him is to call his house and hope he’s home. Someone knows a woman who doesn’t have a cellphone or email either and she’s proud of such. I can never determine if these types are blessed or downright inconsiderate. Both are old people so these types are not likely to last.
The worse case scenario justifying my 24/7 phone is not likely to happen. The pager system seldom calls and when it does it is usually ‘no emergency’ certainly nothing that couldn’t wait awhile for me to respond to it. People seem to demand the immediate return of their calls and texts but this doesn’t mean it has to be done.
I think I will practice putting away the phone this week; I will check in on it less often. Anything less than ‘continually’ is a good first step. I wonder if I will feel better for it.
*Last month when they were living alone it was important to have a phone. Now they live at the assisted center: help is a mere push of a button away.
Spo-Reflections 
25 comments
January 26, 2020 at 9:08 AM
David Godfrey
The issue for many is work life balance. Would it be possible for you and the other doctor to trade off “emergency” response duty? Being on call 24/7 for years is very wearing. You seem to seldom if ever have a day off. For me the bigger issue for my cell, is email, specifically office email. With no longer doing work that requires emergency responses, I often leave my phone off from Friday when I get home, until Monday. I turn it off almost every night. 42 months and 5 days until I can delete my office email from my phone, not that I am counting or anything.
January 26, 2020 at 5:47 PM
Urspo
We agreed as pages are so rare it is just better for us to handle our own by keeping our phones on. The trick is to not have the phone continually domineering our daily lives.
January 26, 2020 at 10:01 AM
Brian Dean Powers
I’m one of those “older” folks who does not have a cell phone. Sometimes I wouldn’t mind having one to take an impromptu photo or make an urgent call. But mostly I don’t want to join the pack, I mean those folks who can’t put the damn thing down for more than 30 seconds…. everyone around me looking down at their phone instead of being attentive to what’s around them.
January 26, 2020 at 5:48 PM
Urspo
I am envious of thems sans cell phones. When we turn ours off traveling in Canada I remember how life was and it is nice.
January 26, 2020 at 10:28 AM
anne marie in philly
DOOOOO ITTTTT! you are going to LOVE the quiet!
I think I look at my flip phone 1x/week. people can e-mail me or call my landline if desired.
January 26, 2020 at 5:49 PM
Urspo
today’s trial was marred by parents’ matters; I hope I can do better this week.
January 26, 2020 at 11:04 AM
Lori
Just this month I went from a flip phone to a smart phone. The only reason is our phones were worn out and I did need a phone that was easier for texting as that is what the doctors i work for prefer. I will not set up office email on it. I have no problem not looking at my phone for days. So many people seem to not be able to function wihtout their phone in their hand. That is sad.
January 26, 2020 at 5:50 PM
Urspo
It is sad. I see this all the time out and about. It allows me though to watch and stare too as no one has any clue what’s happening outside of their phones.
January 26, 2020 at 11:08 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
Luddite that I am, I’ve only just recently made the jump from flip-phone to smart phone too. I am not a big texter yet either. It’s annoying. I’m still much more of an emailer, which I do from my computer where I have a proper-sized keyboard on which to type. I understand your father’s reluctance to join a text group.
January 26, 2020 at 5:50 PM
Urspo
Another matter for him is his eye sight and reading the print.
January 26, 2020 at 12:28 PM
Bob Slatten
I.Have.A.Flip.Phone.
There. I said it. And that’s fine because I am not a phone person;I won’t text, don’t ask me.
If you need me at work, we have a phone; if you need me at home, call my home.
It’s been working that way my whole life so why switch.
January 26, 2020 at 4:12 PM
anne marie in philly
GAYmen, bob! you and I are on the same wavelength.
January 26, 2020 at 5:51 PM
Urspo
quite sensible of you
January 26, 2020 at 12:59 PM
Parnassus
It’s funny, but people are addicted to looking at their cell phones with some need to be constantly “in touch” yet it is almost impossible to get a return call, an answer to an email, or to get anyone at work to actually pick up their phones. When we only had land lines and snail mail, it was much easier and quicker to get ahold of people. –Jim
January 26, 2020 at 5:51 PM
Urspo
All sorts of articles have been written on why this happens and how to combat it. No one disagrees it is a bad thing.
January 26, 2020 at 1:06 PM
Linda Practical Parsimony
I have a flip phone. Before someone stole it, i had an Android. Having both phones, wireless internet, and tv service was only about $70/month, much less than the Smart Phone for some people. Now that i live with Tommy, i rarely use my phone or turn it on. However, i do need it when i shop. I can call him to bring the car to the door of grocery store. I whine when someone wants to text. I am afraid to not have it since i cannot walk to save my life if i had car trouble.
January 26, 2020 at 5:52 PM
Urspo
yes that is when a cellphone comes in handy – in a crisis.
As a constant companion it isn’t a good friend.
January 26, 2020 at 1:24 PM
Old Lurker
No phone for me. I can’t afford one. Staring at my laptop sixteen hours a day will have to do as a substitute.
Just wait a couple of months and Papa Spo will be texting you every ten minutes. He will go through that phase of forwarding you every chain text he runs across. It will be a delight.
January 26, 2020 at 5:53 PM
Urspo
I very much doubt this but let’s see what happens.
January 26, 2020 at 4:20 PM
Robzilla In CA
Even if you don’t put away the phone, put it on silent. It’s basically the same thing as long as you don’t look at it. Sometimes it works too well for me. I forget to turn the ringer back on after work and miss things.
January 26, 2020 at 5:54 PM
Urspo
I have notifications down to the minimal. At work it’s ticklish as it has my app for concluding prescriptions so it is right in front of my eyes all day long – for me to see things popping up.
January 26, 2020 at 8:07 PM
Steven
I am happy to say that I am not attached to my phone as most others are. I could go days without needing it. Thankfully, it’s not as source for much texting. I prefer to speak to people. And I don’t do facetime or Facebook. And I (automatically) put it on Do Not Disturb every night.
January 27, 2020 at 4:10 AM
Moving with Mitchell
A great convenience and a terrible inconvenience.
January 28, 2020 at 3:42 AM
Blobby
getting my mother an iphone and ipad to communicate with her kids and grandkids was great. For an – at the time – 88 year old, it could have been a steep learning curve but she picked it up easily enough. She did struggle with group texts – as she would respond to something someone said days before and we were left to figure out what she was saying; or she meant a text for one child and sent it to multiple. Still – you might find he will pick it up more, it just might be the newness and uncertainty he feels currently that might hold him back.
January 28, 2020 at 5:49 PM
Ron
I would never be without my iPhone. It literally saved my life five years ago. Leaving work I fell on the ice and tore my quadricep muscle in my left leg. Where I fell the temperature was five degrees. I couldn’t move let alone crawl to a phone. But I had my iPhone which I dialed 9/11. The ambulance arrived within five minutes and took me to the Emergency Room. I know it is fashionable these days to deride those who use their phones for all manner but for me, I will take the derision. There are those who say we have lost our “sociability” by having being glued to our iPhones. I disagree. I am more “sociable” now that I can talk to my Canadian friend several times a day on FaceTime. I text him (and he me) when I get up in the morning, and often during the day and, of course at the end of the day for a final “good night” text. Why in the world would I want to take a sabbatical from this form of communication? Perhaps write a letter? I can do that (and have in the past) but I prefer this modern form of “sociability”. An acquaintance had to talk mw into getting an iPhone and I resisted. I figured my flip phone was good enough. How wrong I was. For me I would not and will not go one minute without my iPhone on my person. I’ll take the derision. My longtime friend Lar, who has ALS. Finally got an iPhone at the urging of his medical support team but he still refuses to turn it on. He falls a lot. To the end of my days I’ll never understand this resistance. Afraid of failure of not knowing how to use the phone? When he breaks his hip and is in rehab maybe he’ll reconsider. I’m not a total loss however, I still prefer to read a real book instead of one on a digital appliance.