What a work week ! I’ve had little time to do anything else. While I was a-working the dryer became difficult. Usually during a spin the trap develops an even film of lint and dog hair. Lately the detritus goes anywhere but. After each load I have to wipe the door down with a tissue to remove the mess. The clothes are not coming out dry either. Something is awry. I suspect Nargles are behind it. Rationalists in the house deduced the dryer was sending signals of its swan song. Someone called The Repairman (of somebody like him) only to discover the price of a consultation combined with the repairs would be as nearly much as a new machine. After all the dryer is over fifteen years old. Do let’s get us a new one, shiny and bright. So we did.
While waiting for our baby, Someone pulled from the wall the old jalopy to discover atherosclerosis in the air vent. Apparently rain has been getting down the vent and settling like the “S” below the sink, mixing with countless loads of laundry lint to make a grunge worthy of the sewers of Paris. This Oldavi gorge was replete with coins (46 cents worth), sixteen plastic shirt collar tabs, and a few unidentified objects now in the Smithsonian museum. Curiously what was NOT in the muck were countless missing socks that have gone missing over the years, supporting the theory the spinning of the dryer warps time and space to send items into another dimension, along with the my handkerchiefs.
The new dryer is a king-size-titanic-unsinkable-molly brown device with lots of lovely settings of which I am clueless. The delivery man (who was well over four feet) gave us a manual to read. I am still slogging through Anna Karenina and I don’t relish another lofty tome when all I want from a dryer is press the button and wait twenty minutes. I am curious to see how well this new one warps time and space and what’s the coin return. 46 cents in 15 years isn’t much but I have hopes with the new dryer to get at least a dollar. I also have fingers crossed a few missing socks will return to this side of the wormhole.
Spo-Reflections 
43 comments
February 6, 2021 at 6:54 AM
Bob Slatten
Kind of a shame that the old dryer couldn’t have stashed away enough coins over the last decade and a half to pay for its replacement.
February 6, 2021 at 7:17 AM
Urspo
that would have been a lot of coins, indeed.
February 6, 2021 at 7:06 AM
David Godfrey
Mysterious devices, I suspect there are millions of tiny creatures inside spinning the drum and fan and eating the occasional sock. Ours was old when I bought the condo 11 years ago.
February 6, 2021 at 7:18 AM
Urspo
watch for coins and lost handkerchiefs
February 6, 2021 at 7:59 AM
anne marie in philly
my local repair guy buys up washers/dryers from people selling their houses, reconditions them, and sells them for 1/5 the price of new. the last time we bought a dryer from him – $300, delivery, setup, haul away the old one. I have it running right now. your new LG looks nice.
February 6, 2021 at 9:57 AM
Urspo
clever man to do this -and clever woman for utilizing such!
February 6, 2021 at 11:19 AM
anne marie in philly
repair guy lives down the street from us. family business (father, mother, 2 sons).
February 6, 2021 at 8:21 AM
Sam
15 years-you did well. We seem to go through them every 10 years or so, and am estimating that this one will die in the next 3-4. And yet, no socks found with any replacement.
February 6, 2021 at 9:58 AM
Urspo
Some times I wonder if the transported socks end up in other people’s Maytags, although there is no reciprocation at this end.
February 6, 2021 at 8:59 AM
Deedles
Too funny! 11 years? Wow! I have a growing pile of single socks waiting for their mates to return. It’s sad, really. I know if I throw any away, their mates will show up in a linty puff of smoke. The stars are in the sock window.
February 6, 2021 at 9:59 AM
Urspo
In our house the problem of ‘losing a sock’ is solely my matter. Someone (who is mindful of his hosiery) this never happens to him.
February 6, 2021 at 9:13 AM
Parnassus
One reasonable cost in Taiwan is repairmen. Last year the repairman came out, replaced the drum belt and the heater unit in my dryer, and the total cost, parts and labor, was about US$30.
I wonder if cleaning out the exhaust pipe by itself would have been enough to bring your old machine back to life.
–Jim
February 6, 2021 at 10:00 AM
Urspo
I thought of this as well. In hindsight, if we had merely pulled away the machine and cleaned out the muck, would it have been back to business? By then the machine was already purchased. I will remember this.
February 6, 2021 at 9:25 AM
Robzilla, Native of Slam Diego
It’s too bad there wasn’t enough spare coins stuck there to at least pay for the sales tax, let alone a new dryer. I’ve heard it’s a good idea to replace all of the appliances when I buy a home. The last thing I need or want is a washing machine or refrigerator leaking and causing thousands of dollars of damage to the flooring and walls.
February 6, 2021 at 10:01 AM
Urspo
In our 15 years as ‘bonne habitants” we’ve replaced the fridge, the washer, and now the dryer. I am eying the oven as it too is showing signs of decline.
February 6, 2021 at 9:39 AM
Blobby
Rationalists? Did you mean “muggles” or “mud-bloods”? 15 is young for a dryer? Our last one we inherited with the our first house, 24 years ago, and it was ‘old’ then. We did leave it when we moved, to get an LG, but top loading. You’ll love the ice-cream truck song it plays when a load is complete.
February 6, 2021 at 10:02 AM
Urspo
So that’s what that is! Heavens i thought I was hallucinating.
thanks
February 6, 2021 at 10:57 AM
Linda Practical Parsimony
Hopefully, you will attend to the leaks coming in that apparently played a part in the dryer’s demise. Water comes in where the exhaust is on the side of the house? How is that possible? My first dryer lasted 30 years and the next one almost as long now. I will have it repaired if it quits. If your experience is any measure of costs now, I could replace it.
February 6, 2021 at 11:15 AM
Urspo
Someone is working on this, this weekend. Ladder is up and he’s holding an inspection to find out what’s not there to stop the rain
February 6, 2021 at 12:02 PM
Todd Gunther
Dear Spo,
We have run away and never coming back. Don’t bother sending out a search party. We can’t be found anywhere.
Sincerely,
Your Missing Socks
February 6, 2021 at 1:41 PM
Urspo
I kissed off you ingrates. You’ve been replaced with Bombas no rubbish socks.
February 6, 2021 at 3:52 PM
Lori
Are the Bombas really nice? I’ve been thinking of getting some for the big guy.
February 6, 2021 at 12:45 PM
Lori
Missing socks frustrate me to no end. I mean I always take them off together and put them in the laundry together so what happens???
February 6, 2021 at 1:42 PM
Urspo
As stated, the dryer folds time and warps space not unlike The Guild in “Dune”.
February 6, 2021 at 12:45 PM
Old Lurker
Sigh. Even appliances these days are not built to last. I would be surprised if you get 15 years out of the new dryer.
Also I thought you lived in a desert? Is the HOA still against you putting out your laundry on a clothesline like rational people?
February 6, 2021 at 1:44 PM
Urspo
Oh how I would love to put out a clothesline!
I can think of no worse actions in the eyes of the HOA (and Someone) to have out a clothesline.
Do do drape things over the frame of the canopy bed to dry, which sort of works although they don’t get that outdoor fresh feeling, worse luck.
February 6, 2021 at 5:02 PM
Old Lurker
Well, if putting out a clothesline is the worst offence then there is an easy solution: declare yourself a nudist and go about sky-clad at home and in the neighborhood. Fewer clothes means less laundry.
February 6, 2021 at 1:44 PM
Moving with Mitchell
I love new appliances! I’ve regularly been a jackpot winner with our washing machine. I often fine beautifully laundered 20 euro notes.
February 6, 2021 at 2:50 PM
Urspo
Tut. Money laundering is not nice.
February 6, 2021 at 1:56 PM
Friko
Hopefully the new dryer is less expensive to run, even if the old one ran mainly on shirt buttons and socks.
February 6, 2021 at 2:51 PM
Urspo
So far so good. It has a few energy-saving devices like not turning on the heat until some time into the spin. Groovy
February 6, 2021 at 2:04 PM
Gigi Rambles
I’m sure you but just want to note that I hope you are pulling out the dryer once a year or so and cleaning the ducts – that is a huge fire hazard.
I wish I could tell you where you socks have disappeared to because then I’d know where our missing socks are!
February 6, 2021 at 2:52 PM
Urspo
I have learned my lesson to periodically pull apart the appliances looking for dirt and lost coins and kobolds
February 6, 2021 at 2:35 PM
wickedhamster
The new device looks very modern. It probably has AI, so don’t make it angry.
February 6, 2021 at 2:52 PM
Urspo
Worse, it matches the washer machine. I will have to sleep light lest they are plotting some outrage.
February 6, 2021 at 2:57 PM
Linda Practical Parsimony
Tommy’s dryer has one setting–scorching hot! I cannot dry anything that can be dried on low heat.
I know where your socks are. Well, at least that is where my socks go.
February 6, 2021 at 6:47 PM
Urspo
A bone of contention between Someone and I is how dry to make the clothes. I think over-dried clothes is harmful for the fabric; Someone sees anything but bone dry as sopping wet.
February 7, 2021 at 12:44 AM
Linda Practical Parsimony
I say ‘dry.’ Bone dry is bad except for towels. I think clothes last longer if not tortured in a dryer. Of course, shirts and such need to be hanged up immediately. That even makes the ironing easier. Elastic in socks and underwear wear out faster is heated too much.
February 6, 2021 at 8:03 PM
larrymuffin
Well I knew this would happen, trying to do it all without the household help you are so used to. Leave Hazel to handle all the mechanics and just relax with a Martini. Now reading the instruction manual may help you understand how the downtrodden live and what they will do to please you around the house. On the other hand how about a clothes line in the backyard, would your neighbour Paul Gosar object? Probably not. As for the sock situation, I advise new socks every 6 months, fashion changes you know and socks that are 15 years old are so passé. About the 0.46 cents found how much was that worth when you lost it? Properly invested it would be worth a lot now. How domesticity can baffle and bore at the same time.
February 6, 2021 at 11:11 PM
wcs
Our dryer is giving us the “signs” as well. It’s almost 18 years old. But, we hardly use it in summer since we can hang the clothes out. Still, the dryer is nice to have in winter. It’s working intermittently, so we’re trying to squeeze more time out of it. I should check the condenser to be sure it’s clean. Most clothes dryers in France do not vent to the outdoors. They cool the heated air in a condenser, then pump the water out into a sink or drainpipe. Cleaning the condenser every now and then is a must to keep the dryer working properly.
February 7, 2021 at 7:39 AM
Steven
Such a cute and imaginative post on the woes of dryer mysteries and the mundane act of dryer buying. We had our horizontal dryer vent (well over 12 feet) cleaned last summer expecting that such a long run has collected lots of lint. Surprisingly, it was relatively clean.
February 7, 2021 at 5:34 PM
Pipistrello
This is another interesting little tidbit to remind me that ‘Mericans and ‘Strayans are different animals. It’s the washing machine that gobbles up socks here, for most people don’t own a dryer. We revel in the glory of clotheslines! I should have thought living in a desert it would be a matter of course.
February 8, 2021 at 12:51 PM
Sassybear
Nothing says adulting quite like being thrilled at the purchase of a new home appliance.