So, how did you do?

There is some hyperbole hopping about the internet about the one year anniversary of covid19 shutting down the nation. With vaccinations and signs of fewer cases there is noted hope we have turned a corner.* The daily stoic meditation today was titled ‘So how did you do?”. It is a good question. It asks us to reflect on how well we handled ourselves. Did we rise to the occasion, or did we fall apart?  Did we do what was right?  We were not going to be able to control what had happened but we could control how we responded –  a truism at the heart  stoicism and cognitive behavioral therapy.

First and foremost: I survived. I want to think this is due to following proper medical advice to mask up, stay home, wash hands, and kiss no toads.  

I used the down time to do some improvements. I learned to cook better; I read an armful of books. I picked up new daily habits.  I did some house projects. 

We did not succumb to hysteria or panic-buying; we did not hoard toilet paper. We kept our heads. We did not blame others nor believed the disinformation that breathed from the vile mouths of the past government.  When the vaccines came out, we didn’t push ourselves to the front of the line but waited our proper turns.

So – I am grateful for survival and I can be proud of what I chose to do and be. But, I won’t delude myself it was all good-boy activities knee-deep in buttercups and daisies.  I should look at my failures too. 

I withdrew more than was necessary; I did not do as much as I could have done for folks worse off than I.  I could have supported others more either with money or donations. I made some masks but not much else. 

I became indolent. I did not do much if any physical self-care. In matters of my health I am in worse shape in decades.  I often ate badly.

More often than not I ignored the plight of others as ‘their problem’.  I did not stand up and advocate.

 

Whether or not  the pandemic is diminishing, the truth is there will always be a next time, another crisis de jour. Something else will rise up to test my mettle. Once again, without wanting it, I will be given the choice to rise to the occasion or implode. If I don’t stop and reflect on what I learned about myself these past twelve months  – if I don’t find meaning from this suffering time – then I have added harm on top of the misfortunate.

I give my performance in the covid19 pandemic a B-plus.

So, how did you do? 

 

*This is suspect. History shows whenever people dropping their guard too soon the plague has another surge even harder to eradicate.  I am getting my  vaccine but I ain’t changing anything yet.