I thought to write on the topic of running away. It would be a ‘serious’ entry, so I ran it by The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections for their thoughts and approval. Herbert, the archivist, reminded me I did something like this in 2012. I could not interpret this as ‘ja or nay’ so I went ahead with it. It’s been on my mind anyway. Spo
Back when I was smaller and people were taller I often longed to run away. Sometimes this was a positive longing to see far-off better-than-this-place lands. If Alice, Milo, Lucy, and Dorothy could do it, why oh why can’t I? Most of the time it was a negative desire. It came up whenever could not bear being part of the general idiocy and disappointment that was reality. It had an element of cowardice to it. Rather than face my fears (school, state, nation, the world) I would withdraw and not deal with any of it. I would fall into a book or go the inner compartment of my mind where no one has ever entered.
The emotion to run away and withdraw has been lately stronger than ever. I felt after the last presidential election things were getting a little better but they have not. I don’t have data to support this, but I sense it is only going to become worse. The desire to close the door, lock it from within, and throw away the key is as strong as it has ever been.
I call this complex “The Dark Fairy”. In many fairy tales and stories there is some magical malevolent entity or people calling the protagonist to join them in their land, of so different and faraway from here. The Odyssey has The Sirens. The Japanese have Yuki-onna, the Snow Woman. Here are some examples in poetry and song:
From the poem “Stolen Child”, by Yeats:
‘Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.’
The movie ‘Hocus Pocus’:
‘Come little children
I’ll take thee away
Into a land of enchantment
Come little children
The time’s come to play
Here in my garden of shadows.’
Curious how many of these calls involve music and singing, and a sort of hypnotism. No matter how alluring it sounds, one should not go that route. Succumbing to the sonorous sounds of The Dark Fairy does not result in peace but madness or death.
Milo, Alice, Dorothy, and Lucy all come back from their escape from boring problematic reality to see ‘real life’ better than they thought it was. That’s the right way to withdraw. You return, you don’t stay there.
“Well, I would like to make another trip but I really don’t know when I’ll have the time. There’s just so much to do right here”
Emerson said “Always do the thing you are afraid of” and Marie Curie said “Nothing in life is to be feared but understood”. May their bright songs outsing and outshine the call of The Dark Fairy and her ilk.
38 comments
September 7, 2021 at 4:47 AM
Dwight W.
Marie Curie- Incredible woman who died I believe of leukemia brought on by her research with radioactive elements stands out so clearly to me. “Nothing in Life is to be feared but understood” .I have run away several times in life, Most importantly, from a Geographical place that would have destroyed my sexuality, from two jobs that were sucking the air out of my lungs, and I’ve never looked back. Familial responsibility is an easy one to run from, but that’s not how we are raised in my family. As for the political, It is so much better now than it was, I am happy almost every day. Truth tellers make me want to dance in the sun light . Liars make me want to hide, until I-find a way to break them. I know the difference. I’m not infallible , but I always find my way home.
September 7, 2021 at 7:09 AM
Urspo
I am glad you always find your way home; this is a good thing to remember in tough times.
September 7, 2021 at 5:07 AM
Debbie W.
Surely the Board would approve this post! Sometimes actually running away is our best option, although many may choose a more traditional escape route by reading books, watching movies, exercising, meditating, etc. But our world is still here, and I believe that, at the very least, the last presidential election has put us on the right path. How far and how fast we move along that path is up to us, but too much running away won’t help.
September 7, 2021 at 7:10 AM
Urspo
I hope he/his staff can do some good; I often feel he is impotent to stop the rising tide of Ignorance.
September 7, 2021 at 6:10 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
In our society, the siren call of escapism comes all too often from drugs, alcohol and other addictions.
September 7, 2021 at 7:11 AM
Urspo
Indeed that is so.
Curious how that sort of escapism never crosses my mind.
September 7, 2021 at 6:44 AM
Glenda
Why should we do as Emerson said? He probably just needed to publish something that day and came up with that. Why should we torture are self by doing what we are afraid of. Enough bad things come our way without us doing it to ourselves. We should take what little pleasure we find in escapism that is not harmful.
September 7, 2021 at 7:14 AM
Urspo
The philosophy behind the quote is at the heart of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. When something new/strange comes up, say, an invitation to go to a party where you won’t know anybody, one immediately becomes wary/fearful and one says ‘no’. But then if you do, it often is enjoyable and seldom as bad as you feared it would.
Fear of action has kept people in countless awful situations and thwarts growth.
“Life begins outside your comfort zone” is another way to say this.
September 7, 2021 at 8:10 AM
Robzilla
I ran away earlier this year, but considering the options I had it was the best course of action. I don’t regret a thing.
September 7, 2021 at 8:14 AM
Urspo
Sometimes running is the best choice; my entry didn’t make note of that.
September 7, 2021 at 8:35 AM
Old Lurker
Laurent would like to remind you that PEI is practically a land of enchantment. Why do you resist his siren call so?
September 7, 2021 at 8:38 AM
Urspo
Believe it or not Canada is very particular about healthcare workers from other countries. I’ve known many ‘top in their field’ be denied work there as ‘NQOCD” [not quite our class, darling] Being employed – and having health coverage – would be the main challenges.
September 7, 2021 at 8:36 AM
wickedhamster
Charlie Brown once said: No problem is so big that it can’t be run away from. As for myself, I never wanted to run away, I just wanted to become a turtle or an egg.
September 7, 2021 at 10:13 AM
Urspo
Did you?
September 8, 2021 at 6:43 AM
wickedhamster
Occasionally. I liked egg the best, fewer interruptions and distractions.
September 7, 2021 at 8:41 AM
Linda Practical Parsimony
I suppose I have always escaped into books. It does not seem to have hurt me. Some days, you just cannot run far enough! But, running and education is what books are for.
When I was five, I had to learn to do what I feared. I had to go to school and knew no one who had gone to school. My mother telling me it was okay was not enough. I just wanted a first-hand account of someone who had gone to school, and somehow, my mother’s experiences were not enough. But, I was five. Since then, as the oldest child, I had to do everything first!
I wanted reassurance from within my family, but that was not happening. I learned to not only do what was expected (school) but to seek the new and unusual (joining 4-H, e.g.). I went headlong into all the experiences I could find. I am still sort of that way, much to the consternation of some people….lol.
September 7, 2021 at 10:13 AM
Urspo
Good for you!
It gladdens me to hear people rising to the occasion in courage and daring.
September 7, 2021 at 3:44 PM
Linda Practical Parsimony
My family did try to reassure me! But, I needed a first-hand account, not from parents…lol.
September 7, 2021 at 8:59 AM
Pat
Sometimes just stepping back rather than truly running away serves to restore me. The last year and a half, especially pre-vaccine was a way to step back, reset and recharge. During my earning years, I often traveled to far off cities for work and, when I could, added a day or two for myself to explore. Free from familial, spousal and work demands, I often passed the day in solitude. Words were spoken of course, meals must be ordered, admission tickets purchased and such but otherwise the day might pass without much else being said. I wasn’t running away so much as retreating inside. I enjoyed ,as they say now, the “self-care” time very much. I sometimes revisited the same places with others in tow and seeing them a second time through others’ eyes was fun, too. But the indulgent quiet times are the memories I think will last, not the Kodak moments. So step back, run away or retreat inside. As long as you enjoy your own company it will be time well spent.
September 7, 2021 at 10:14 AM
Urspo
THank you for writing this out; it was a good read and most warming.
September 7, 2021 at 10:32 AM
Parnassus
I suppose that running away “from it all” is a common fantasy, but lately I have been hearing many serious-minded people discussing plans of escape. I know that every era claims that the civilized world incoming to an end, but lately there have been some real sea-changes. The world is becoming that frightening.
–Jim
September 7, 2021 at 10:56 AM
Urspo
Alas we really cannot escape. We cannot run away.
September 7, 2021 at 10:34 AM
Moving with Mitchell
I used to want to run away all the time. Tracy Chapman singing “I got a fast car” used to play in my head regularly when I drove to work. Now, I’d simply like to go somewhere. I don’t feel the need to run away permanently.
September 7, 2021 at 10:56 AM
Urspo
Good for you for not needing to run away permanently; that’s the way to do it.
September 7, 2021 at 11:56 AM
Sam
There’s the thing of growing up. We wish when we were kids we were adults that oculd make all our own decsions, and create a life just like we want. Then other stupid adults do things that make this impossible-over, and over, and over again. I fear if we could run away, the people we would meet would muck that up too. Best we try and fix where we are.
September 7, 2021 at 12:02 PM
Urspo
This is the best summary of the situation I have read in ages.
May I copy/save it?
September 7, 2021 at 1:08 PM
BadNoteB
As a young lad of 4 or 5, I was caught sneaking out of the house one summer afternoon with a rather large pillowcase containing all my prized and worldly possessions thrown over shoulder. “And where are you heading to, young man?” my mother inquired. “I’m sick of being around this place and everyone in it,” was my reply. “Well I suppose you can run off anywhere you want to,” my mother responded, “but you better not let me catch you crossing that street!”
Many years later I recall my dad sharing the philosophy that there’s nothing inherently wrong with running away, but it’s always better to have something in mind to be running toward. I’ve had good success from attempting to incorporate that tidbit of wisdom into my life over the years. And I still think long and hard about crossing any streets with all apparently major trauma/dramas in life.
September 7, 2021 at 4:23 PM
Urspo
Have you every read the short story “The ones who walk away from Omelas”? The amazing conclusion is they don’t know where they are going but they on their way.
September 7, 2021 at 4:09 PM
David Godfrey
The challenge of being an adult, is needing to find a way to runaway, and preserve security. 22 months and 21 days, some days I fanaticize about a dramatic exit. I watched a man quit one day, he walked in and said have you ever seen a grown man urinate all over a desk, move anything fast, and he did, it is debatable if he quit before he was fired.
September 7, 2021 at 4:24 PM
Urspo
Dear me! One would like to leave with dignity on our terms, not the terms of others, or so I hope.
September 7, 2021 at 5:28 PM
usstorageunit
Hmmmm… this post has me thinking. September anxiety is high, despite the fact that I’m a retired teacher. Hard to un-learn! My youngest daughter has moved out in her own. Then there’s Covid, and hurricanes that brought a terrible tornado so very close to us. My husband and I took a short weekend away and it was wonderful. I guess I was running away!
September 7, 2021 at 7:13 PM
Urspo
but you came back, yes? And survived !
September 7, 2021 at 7:24 PM
edyjournal
My daydream about a young French lover is not escapism, running away, or avoidance of relationshipping. It’s a dress rehearsal. 😉
September 8, 2021 at 7:05 AM
Urspo
Scandalous!
But I admit I have the same. hohoho
September 8, 2021 at 1:05 AM
Bohemian
There is indeed a lot to want to run away from these days. Indulging in a little Escapism in one form or another to Cope probably isn’t so bad depending on what form of Escape one uses. I’ve been choosing Nature of late… works for me.
September 8, 2021 at 7:06 AM
Urspo
Good for you!
Having ‘nature’ in you life is very salubrious. Keep doing this.
Ever hear of shinrin-yoku ?
September 8, 2021 at 7:14 PM
Bohemian
Alas, unless I leave the Desert there aren’t Forests nearby, would have to go North of the State of Arizona and those Roads are treacherous and whenever I drive them I’m white knuckling it so I don’t know that wouldn’t cancel out my Shinrin-Yoku? *LOL*
December 23, 2021 at 5:41 AM
Ron
The soothing songs of the Sea Sirens luring intrepid sailors to their doom.