Note: this one was another composition that puzzled The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections. They couldn’t conclude if it was ‘serious or not’. When it comes to history, they don’t give a tush, so it’s understandable they can’t deduce what on earth am I writing here. Spo-fans, who are clever and well over four feet, can figure it out. They gave it a ‘go’ as they like the notion of throwing people out of windows. Spo
I am continually learning history in order to diminish ignorance and achieve apotheosis, or at least have clever things to say at cocktail parties.* The Fates (or someone like them) guide daily me towards fascinating historical tid-bits. Lately, the gods or the A.I.s at YouTube have led me to titillating tales of people flying or attempting to do so. So far, thems who have tried (willingly or no) have met with mixed results.
Eilmer (or Elmer or AEthelmaer or Oliver – the parchment is a bit schmeared) was a monk in the 11th century who attempted to fly, inspired not by Heaven, but by reading ‘The Myth of Icarus’. Considering how that tale ends**, one questions his judgment at duplicating the experiment. He made some wings and gave it a go. History doesn’t say where he did this, only that ‘he flew more than a furlong”, nor does it say if he had some cushions or something down below ‘just in case’. Someone wrote:
‘Eilmer used a bird-like apparatus to glide downwards against the breeze. However, being unable to balance himself forward and backwards, as does a bird by slight movements of its wings, head and legs, he would have needed a large tail to maintain equilibrium. Eilmer could not have achieved true soaring flight, but he might have glided down safely with a tail. Eilmer said he had “forgotten to provide himself with a tail.” ‘
It is written E broke both legs and was quite hobbled thereafter. History doesn’t say how he felt about it all, or what else he did. Imagine going through life known only as the guy who jumped out of a window and crashed! Eilmer lives on that an engineer (with a sense of humor)named a flying simulation code “Eilmer”.
Another man of the cloth to have spread his arms to take off into the blue yonder fared a bit better. Joseph of Cupertino, a friar in the 1600s, frequently levitated and floated off while in religious ecstasy. Apparently he didn’t care for it, nor did his superiors. They kept locking him up and transferring him as an embarrassment . Even The Inquisition got involved, telling him politely to knock it off. Brother C. is reported to have gone on a strict keto-like diet and there were no further flights. After his death, he was made a saint. One wonders if Brother Eilmer would have been jealous.

Please don’t try this at home or in Prague if you should happen to be there.
On the secular side, there are ‘The two defenestrations of Prague’. Clever-dicks and straw-splitters will argue the fellows flying out the window weren’t attempting to fly exactly but were obliged to give it a try. The first set who went out the window did so in 1419; the re-try was performed in 1618. Spoilers! Neither set achieved flight. One would think the disappointing data would discourage further attempts of this sort of shenanigan, but according to Wikipedia, people continue to throw each other out of windows and off high parapets. I could not find any positive results.
The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections requires me to put in a disclaimer: do not try this at home. Folks attempting to fly without an airplane around them are certain to fall and break things, including their dignity. Please stay grounded and avoid open windows, especially if there are others in the room with whom you have religious disagreements.
Another warning: avoid Greek Myths, which got the whole thing going in the first place.
* So far I only got one out of three, and that’s useless as I am not invited to cocktail parties anymore. Stirges.
** Badly.
30 comments
September 26, 2021 at 4:38 AM
David Godfrey
Very good, and I was please to read the footnotes ** badly, I was thinking that exact same thing. Too close to the sun, aka too successful as I recall. When J moved into his office on the 11th floor of a University office Building we were surprised to find the windows screwed permanently closed. When we asked, they joked, keeps the faculty from jumping, the groundskeepers complain about the clean up.
September 26, 2021 at 6:17 AM
Urspo
University types are reportedly notorious at wanting to fly away to faraway lands or better campuses. Screwed-down windows keeps many academics in inferior schools from taking off – like the Berlin wall.
September 26, 2021 at 5:29 AM
Dwight .
The myth of Icarus and Daedalus, is the answer to this for me and it seems to be the secret to life or to a safe and boring life. Seems Daedalus had the trick of flying down pat , don’t fly too high or the wax that holds your wings will melt , don’t fly too close to the sea or the water will wet your wings and drag you down. So of course the young one must test the limits and flies too high and crashes into the Sea and drowns. While his father flies on to land. Eilmer didn’t plan well a furlong is 660 feet feet , two football fields , but obviously made no landing plans . Two broken legs was his reward. Joseph of Cupertino had a natural gift , which he was both loathe to use and discouraged to use. So he suppressed it and it “went away” . Plan what you do well, doing it will have a pleasant ending. Keep your natural gifts to yourself until you know you are among friends to show them , this screams closeted gays to me. But Daedalus will be my guide. “ Fly in the middle not too high , not too low, and at least you won’t drown in the sea” Mediocrity equals success. But none of us wants mediocrity. Joseph of Cupertino , the only one with a natural gift should have learned to understand it , honed it, and flown away from his oppressors and lived happily ever after.
September 26, 2021 at 6:18 AM
Urspo
St. J is a dear. I talk to him from time to time. Rumor has it he is patron saint to several types like pilots, trapeze artists, and schleps no one likes. I like the last one.
September 26, 2021 at 6:04 AM
Sam
Now I am most curious how people who exist in tall buildings with no air conditioning, no window closures aren’t having more “attempts” at the request of others.
September 26, 2021 at 6:21 AM
Urspo
There are no open windows here in AZ. One cannot open a window in this blasted state.
My office is on the third floor with a patio with modest rails at most. I’ve often worried a patient will come into my office, see the opportunity, and run out and over the side to join Eilmer et. al. Thus I always keep it locked when folks have their appointment.
They can enter the patio from the hallway and do similar, but at least it isn’t via my office. I haven’t heard of anyone going over.
September 26, 2021 at 6:35 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
I love the complaining letter writer at the end of the Monty Python sketch!
September 26, 2021 at 7:07 AM
Urspo
Monty Python never could end anything the start. One of their clever ways to chop it off is the ‘letter of complaint’
September 26, 2021 at 7:07 AM
spwilcen
A pleasant diversion this Sunday morning. Thoroughly enjoy your brand of humor. This was humor, no?
September 26, 2021 at 7:08 AM
Urspo
Maybe so.
Did you laugh any ?
September 26, 2021 at 7:56 AM
spwilcen
Unh, yes, more a sustained chuckle. Then I am not your normal cookie crumb – I projected these anecdotes into present day foibles public (in the news) and private (in my daily life).
September 26, 2021 at 7:14 AM
Brian Dean Powers
Defenestrations in Prague
by William Matthews
1419. Angry Protestants stormed
the town hall and tossed Catholic council
members out the window. Those who survived
the fall were sped to the next life by pikes.
Of course Catholics were busy burning
heretics at one stake or another.
Did he who first learned to keep fire wait long
to think how crisp it might singe his neighbor?
1618. Three Catholics fell some
fifty feet from a palace window
to land on a dung heap and live to slink
away and thank God for landing in shit.
One side’s miracle, the other’s mistake.
Sides? Sides demean the vast loneliness
of prayer — no answer, no neighbor, and death
flickering in you like a pilot light.
September 26, 2021 at 9:19 AM
Urspo
What a poem! – Not in the league of Shel Silverstein but a tad Mary Oliver (on a bad day)
September 26, 2021 at 8:35 AM
Todd Gunther
Don’t worry about me. I am keeping my two feet on the ground.
September 26, 2021 at 9:20 AM
Urspo
When in doubt: get horizontal.
September 26, 2021 at 8:58 AM
Lori Hawkins
None of the windows at work can open. You would think they’d want to allow a little fresh air. I have a fear of heights so I will not be attempting to fly.
September 26, 2021 at 9:20 AM
Urspo
Delta airlines and their ilk are better, and you get peanuts.
September 26, 2021 at 9:07 AM
Parnassus
I didn’t know that you collected stories of religious defenestrations–I guess we all have our little hobbies. Don’t forget about that scene in Luis Bunuel’s L’Age d’Or in which a bishop is tossed from a window, among a variety of other objects.
–Jim
September 26, 2021 at 9:23 AM
Urspo
Patience above! I just looked up this film!
I am all for following the Voice of Binky (Roz Chas) whenever possible but I draw the line with these sorts of shenanigans 🙂
September 26, 2021 at 9:57 AM
Parnassus
Well, don’t worry. The bishop gets up and walks away after his little toss.
September 26, 2021 at 9:55 AM
Pat
Nadir is the new apotheosis in a TikTok world. Highballs at cocktail parties have been replaced. These days it seems low brow amuses, high brow confuses.
September 26, 2021 at 12:52 PM
Urspo
well said
September 26, 2021 at 9:59 AM
Robzilla
When I look back at my last employer, sometimes I wonder if my promotion to the last job I held was my own Flight of Icarus?
September 26, 2021 at 12:56 PM
Urspo
The story of Icarus is a metaphor of ‘what happens’ when one tries to ‘fly too high’ as it were. But do not apply too readily. Sometimes one tries something and realizes it was an error, but it was good to try.
September 26, 2021 at 12:15 PM
John
The monty python sketch left me uncomfortable
The man in a suit falling past the window is a stereotype of the 1920s Wall Street crash ..now it’s a reminder of 9/11
September 26, 2021 at 12:54 PM
Urspo
I thought of that too as I posted it. I was not too certain to do so. I am sorry if it made you feel not comfortable.
Mirth well intended can be a dud. 😦
September 26, 2021 at 3:55 PM
Linda Practical Parsimony
If I am ever found on the ground, dead, and there is a speculation that I defenestrated of my own accord, don’t believe it. I am too afraid of heights to get near the edge, much less, hurl my self off trying to fly or get out of this world.
September 26, 2021 at 4:07 PM
Urspo
Noted. No Eilmer attempts for you missy.
September 26, 2021 at 5:04 PM
Pipistrello
Eilmer was no patron saint of the to-do list. Forgot about the tail and the landing gear?! Evidently swept up by the excitement of flinging himself into the yonder. Glad he survived to tell the tale but I’m with you that he’d have been green with envy over the thaurmaturge’s canonization. Where was the suffering in his floating about? His fellow inmates just thought he was tiresome.
September 26, 2021 at 6:43 PM
Urspo
History isn’t clear what their colleagues truly thought. In the case of E, you would think the Abbey would have told him to knock it off and don’t waste time.