I recently heard a story I quite liked. In the tale, The Buddha, during his attempts to cut out the rubbish and become enlightened, is pestered by the demon Mara. After becoming enlightened, Mara doesn’t give up but drops by from time to time, apparently still trying to throw The Buddha into distraction. The Buddha’s buddies want him to fight Mara either to slay him or at least get him to stop popping by. Rather, Mr. Buddha asks Mara in for tea, and the two have tea together. The story doesn’t say Mara gets bored or discouraged to the point he goes away, but there is some ‘closure’ Mara is tamed to the point The Buddha stays stable.
The lesson here isn’t about the healing powers of tea, although I will add making a pot of tea is a panacea for all moods and situations. The main point to the story is Mara and other demons seldom go away and they are not vanquished through combat. Indeed, fighting seems to just make them more powerful. Jung repeatedly said one cannot eliminate Shadow and to try is folly. Rather, like Mara (a Shadow figure) get to know where it is and learn its lessons. Patients often want anxiety to go away but fail to stop to learn its lessons, what it is trying to tell us. Never let a good crisis go to waste.
Since it is Christmas time, I will also share a story from Switzerland about St. Gallus, who did his own version of tea with Mara.
Centuries ago St. Gallus went to the mountains of Switzerland to preach to the pagans and convert them to Christianity. No one would house him, so he found a cave to set up shop. He moved in and felt fortunate. However, he discovered living in the back of the cave was a large truculent bear, well over four feet. There were ructions. The bear would not leave and Gallus could not beat the bear in a fight. St. Gallus sat down with the bear and they struck a bargain: the bear would allow him to stay in the cave and in return Gallus would provide their food and fire. The bear would gather the firewood and Gallus would protect the bear from the locals who wished the bear dead.
I am trying better to invite my demons in for tea (I have heaps) and to live with the bears in my brain. They are not going to leave. Understanding what they are and what lessons they provide is a good thing.
36 comments
December 16, 2021 at 8:10 AM
Brian Dean Powers
Perhaps it is also enough to recognize one’s shadows without necessarily knowing where they came from.
December 16, 2021 at 8:42 AM
Urspo
Yes, knowing it’s there and what to do/not do about it is more important than poking around for its etiology. That helps sometimes but doesn’t negate it
December 16, 2021 at 8:19 AM
Anne
Great life lessons, both of them.
December 16, 2021 at 8:43 AM
Urspo
They are really the same lesson: recognize and make terms with your inner demons and irksome elements
December 16, 2021 at 8:20 AM
Sluggy
You won my Giveaway! Come on over and email me so I can ship it out to you. 😎
December 16, 2021 at 8:42 AM
Urspo
Honest to Pete, I did???? I will email you this afternoon. I am stunned!
December 16, 2021 at 8:22 AM
DwightW.
When all the most deadly addictive substances are essentially available on store shelves and available , to people over the age of 18, supposedly. It is better to try to walk in the sunlight as much as one can , but shadow will envelop you , as long as you have the sunshine in your brain it cannot destroy you. Patience and compromise will extend the lives of people at odds until the odds turn in someone’s favor, if we are smart it will be us.
December 16, 2021 at 8:52 AM
Urspo
Where there is light there is always Shadow, said Jung. Walk in the light but mind where the shadow is
December 16, 2021 at 8:26 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
Two charming and wise tales! Thanks!
December 16, 2021 at 8:53 AM
Urspo
You are most welcome
December 16, 2021 at 8:45 AM
Glenda
Oddly, I just listened to a guided meditation in which the leader said when the anger, fear, anxiety come as they will, do not oust it, but surround it with tenderness and tell it you will care for it. It will not leave, but will be soothed and tamed enough to ease your distress.
December 16, 2021 at 8:53 AM
Urspo
I am not surprised to hear this; the philosophy behind these stories is universal.
December 16, 2021 at 9:08 AM
Ron
Tea causes kidney stones. Haven’t drank it in years. Bottled water for this miscreant.
December 16, 2021 at 9:32 AM
Urspo
Who told you that? Lies and slander!
December 16, 2021 at 10:26 AM
Debbie W.
Even the best of us have our demons (aka anxieties), whether we admit it or not. I know I have my fair share, and the idea of having them in for tea sheds a whole different light on things. I realize I spend more time struggling against those anxieties instead of just recognizing and making peace with them. Your insights are more helpful than I can say, plus I always enjoy a picture of King Arthur and the Black Knight. 😉
December 16, 2021 at 10:36 AM
Urspo
People often need reminding anxiety is there for a reason, trying to inform us. “It makes a great employee but a lousy boss”
King Arthur and the Black Knight leapt to mind as a tongue-in-cheek reference to what NOT to do when confronted with a Mara/Bear type. hohoho
December 16, 2021 at 10:50 AM
Old Lurker
It is nice to see that your Spo-fans are all so earnest and mature. Not one of them has made some crack about how difficult it is to coexist with bears.
One problem with being the Buddha is that you are surrounded by sycophants. It must be refreshing to have a court jester or a Mara to call you out on your nonsense once in a while.
December 16, 2021 at 11:01 AM
Urspo
It is a figurative bear to live with bears and demons. They can be quite problematic and miserable. Negotiation, education, and such helps take away their bite to hopefully more liveable conditions.
December 16, 2021 at 12:56 PM
Parnassus
Some of our demons and bears we can tame and make compromises with, but perhaps some are truly harmful and out instincts tell us to stay away, the same way that our bodies tell us that food that tastes bad probably is not wholesome.
–Jim
December 16, 2021 at 1:10 PM
Urspo
In psychology it is hoped nothing is so scary it cannot be addressed, just gradually and at the comfort level of the patient. Indeed, there are many who feel any examination of their bears and demons is ‘too much’ with thems one respects the boundaries, never drags them into things.
December 16, 2021 at 1:43 PM
Will Jay
A priest I knew used to say “Pray for your enemies. It changes you.”
Nothing in that statement is easy, however I do see the wisdom in it for it prevents ugly emotions and feelings from taking over your heart.
December 16, 2021 at 2:14 PM
Urspo
It sounds silly and almost magical thinking but yes, thinking positively (or choosing to focus on positive) literally helps the brain do better things to the body and mind. What should not be done is associate positive thinking with magical thinking. If I think positively things will work out. Ugh and wrong.
December 16, 2021 at 2:04 PM
Sam
Ah ha. I think I get the gist. It’s not about accepting the woes, wherever they come from, but finding a manageable way to still be fulfilled despite having to manage them. Maybe?
December 17, 2021 at 9:30 AM
Urspo
Sounds groovy right
December 17, 2021 at 2:08 AM
Moving with Mitchell
Well, I’m having my tea alone. Not very Buddhist, I know.
December 17, 2021 at 9:30 AM
Urspo
Tea is good alone with company and in any mood. !
December 17, 2021 at 5:22 AM
David Godfrey
Useful message. We all have demons
December 17, 2021 at 9:31 AM
Urspo
Some of them are well over four feet.
December 17, 2021 at 7:23 AM
wickedhamster
I could say something about having bears on the brain, but I will forbear. 🐻
December 17, 2021 at 9:31 AM
Urspo
Different species of bear
December 17, 2021 at 2:00 PM
Robert
Acceptance is a wonderful relief 😊
December 17, 2021 at 2:39 PM
Urspo
indeed it is. People often reject ‘acceptance’ on the grounds this means ‘accepting it as OK” which is not so. Another impediment is along with acceptance comes the sense of no justice has happened or will happen.
These are tough ones to bear.
December 17, 2021 at 5:16 PM
Robert
Agreed. I strive for acceptance that brings bliss.
December 18, 2021 at 6:10 AM
wickedhamster
I forgot to mention that my pet demon is named Wilbur. He’s not much of a demon, but he’s all I have. Usually he just reminds me of some embarrassing or inappropriate deed in my distant past, or that I really don’t know what happens after death. He’s a rather laid-back demon who, like me, has grown less fierce with age and given up strenuous activity in retirement. He’s easily appeased by pies, puddings, or cakes. If he’s in a particularly unambitious mood, he’ll just grab a doughnut and go.
December 18, 2021 at 12:54 PM
Rp Drinking tea with Mara and tending the bear in the cave – Unexpected Objects
[…] Drinking tea with Mara and tending the bear in the cave […]
December 18, 2021 at 2:22 PM
butimbeautiful
That’s very sweet. I like the non conflictual approach, and anybody who’s nice to bears