The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections has the illustrative job of managing my writing, but not of my daily doings. Good thing too. Come into my mind and see how the rest of me functions, at least from a symbolic perspective. Spo
Every once in a while (when I remember to do so) I take inventory of all the complexes in my psyche and decide which one shall sit next to the Ego as my righthand man to guide me through the season. These complexes are symbolized by archetypal characters, men and women from literature, legends, the movies, and from my life. Think of Star Trek with Captain Kirk or Picard with his crew. He takes council from all but he has a main assistant. In one version it is Spock; in another it is Riker. For Spo-fans unfamiliar with the Star Trek, envision a CEO sitting at the head of the table, with board members sitting left and right down the table.
Serving the role of Right-hand Man for some time has been ‘Dale’. Dale is a friend, a social worker, who is a patient loving man, very good with his therapy clients, particularly when they are being angry or difficult. When I encounter such types in my work or in public, I channel Dale and try to act similar. All the other characters chime in of course. The Child usually votes to shrink away, not liking angry interactions. The Logical one (an amalgam of Spock, Data, The Scientist, and my Uncle Ed) wants to get the one upset ‘to see reason’. They are all heard but as CEO I usually vote to follow Dale’s example – minus his horrible tendency for puns (oh the horror).
In 2022 I think my righthand man will be The Stoic. The Stoic doesn’t lack feelings, he just doesn’t act out on them. He sees obstacles, conflict, etc. not as impediments, but as the way things are. In Stoicism there is something close to optimism. It is a sense that despite what is happening to you, you will get through it somehow. The Stoic has less nurturance than Dale (and no puns either), but has, how do I say this, more implacable doggedness to persevere, despite what is happening.
The CEO in me will make the executive decision to move The Stoic up to the first chair on the righthand side of him, asking Dale to sit on his left now, but no further down the line. The Anxious One, better or worse always a Board member, is demoted to the end of the table. No matter what is proposed or happens, he immediately jumps up in hysterics and pushes the panic button. I can’t dismiss him, but with The Stoic on my right and Dale on my left I can choose another path than panic and worse-case scenarios.
Note: this one was written on day in which I had far too many patients with Borderline Personality Disorder. These types can be rawther draining, especially if they are back to back in the schedule. It was very hard for Mr. CEO/Ego to keep from sucking up all their emotional shenanigans. Happily, The Stoic and Dale kept me going. All the same, Mr. CEO is having a private performance evaluation session this evening with The Hedonist over a snort. See you tomorrow for Wendesday’s Ws.
22 comments
March 1, 2022 at 6:18 AM
David Godfrey
Crowded in your head
March 1, 2022 at 7:13 AM
Urspo
I’ll say.
Jung never made it clear how many archetypes there were (although he focused on some major ones), the result is one’s pumpkin is full-up with them, popping in and out of consciousness not unlike Samantha Tate’s relations. In a way I’m glad.
March 1, 2022 at 6:48 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
Glad to see there are no Vikings among your personal Board Members. They tend to go Berserk at the slightest provocation.
March 1, 2022 at 7:14 AM
Urspo
Curiously, no. I am intrigued by the cliche Vikings because one of my archetypes, The Warrior, has always been deficit. You, my friend, probably have a lot of Warrior Energy in you – good for you! I lack that.
March 1, 2022 at 7:16 AM
jefferyrn
I never thought about naming all those voices in my head let alone inviting them to a board meeting. I just start watching Vikings: Valhalla. Tough lot. Not good board members either.
March 1, 2022 at 7:29 AM
Urspo
One reason to do this (besides it’s fun) is it makes you aware for the elements of yourself. For example, when you react strongly to something small, it may be that the Warrior in you, which you needed to be so ready to survive, is still thinking everything is a battle, win or die. By realizing Warrior is calling ‘charge!” the Ego can say ‘wait a minute here, this is not something worth fighting”
Another metaphor is knowing the tools in your toolbox makes you more likely to use the right one in the right situation, rather than hammering everything
March 1, 2022 at 7:20 AM
Linda Practical Parsimony
What does a borderline personality act like?
March 1, 2022 at 7:30 AM
Urspo
That would take an entry in itself, a long one.
In brief, thems with Borderline Personality have strong intense relationship emotions to themselves and others, that often change quickly. “I hate you! Don’t leave me!” is the cliche example. There is no sold, calm sense of self, or of others.
March 1, 2022 at 7:42 AM
Debbie W.
Intriguing post! What is your opinion on channeling (or leaning too heavily on) any one particular right hand persona? I often feel I lean heavily on stoicism, sometimes to the exclusion of all else. Everything in moderation?
March 1, 2022 at 9:15 AM
Urspo
In Jungian psychology, Balance is emphasized over and over. If one thing becomes too ‘strong’ its opposite will barge forth in unconscious not nice way to get balance. One cannot listen to the right hand man only, or always take his side. The rest of the board members (psyche) would rebel. Yes, moderation – meaning balance – is important.
March 1, 2022 at 7:57 AM
DwightW.
I like Dale , I like the Stoic . I do believe the Stoic, although I’m not old or that
Age”The White Cliffs of Dover” is my go to place when I need optimism.
March 1, 2022 at 9:16 AM
Urspo
The White Cliff of Dover song seems a place for inspiration and stiffening ones spine. Good for you!
March 1, 2022 at 10:44 AM
Paul Brownsey
Unfortunately, the man who wrote The White Cliffs of Dover was from the US and apparently did not know that the UK does not have bluebirds and so there won’t be any to fly over the white cliffs of Dover tomorrow.
March 1, 2022 at 8:29 AM
Glenda
Emotional mirroring. Such as when one encounters one spewing anger, you return the anger. How do you avoid this in your work?
March 1, 2022 at 9:18 AM
Urspo
First I recognize that it is happening.
Second, I don’t match it meaning I don’t get angry in return
Third: anger is an emotion something isn’t right and needs to be addressed. This is explored next
March 1, 2022 at 6:00 PM
Old Lurker
Poor Anxious One. His concerns always get dismissed. What if something awful happens and you had not worried about it first? You could be caught by surprise!
Today’s entry is a good reminder that you have to deal with patients who have Borderline Personality Disorder on a regular basis. It is more than I can manage, in any case.
March 2, 2022 at 7:23 PM
Urspo
The Anxious One often pushes the CEO out of the chair and declares emergency is his way in no way. He is not one to dismiss, nor can he be ejected. He is allowed to be heard, for he is a valuable contributor – he just shouldn’t be running the show.
March 1, 2022 at 8:54 PM
Richard Portman
Stoic is not bad. Maybe i am a borderline person . It could work, maybe? At this point, safe is good. I have already been stoic most of my life, i would like to share a little more.
There are times when stoic will not serve.
I am not talking about running the streets with molotov cocktails.
It is just that Stoicism is not the same as “Oh Well, it was Ever Thus”.
March 2, 2022 at 7:25 PM
Urspo
People often think being stoic means not having feelings, or accepting things without action. In my experience neither is so.
March 1, 2022 at 9:09 PM
Richard Portman
Vikings, Stoicism. War and doom. Before i sign off, until next time. I wanted to tell you about this book. The Charioteer by Mary Renault.
March 2, 2022 at 7:24 PM
Urspo
thank you. I am always up for a good a good new book.
March 2, 2022 at 12:26 AM
Richard Portman
Off topic. The last thing i want to see is a bunch of Vikings. After they moved into a bunch of dominant bullies, after they decided they could be both bullies and plunder our stuff, and kill the old people and steal our treasure. And kill our relatives and sell our girls and boys. No thank you. It sounds dramatic. Because it is .
I don’t need to speak that language to understand this.