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I remember dragging Father to cinema in the 80s to see “The Empire Strikes Back”, only to discover I had to continually whisper clarifications during the movie as he was confused who and what was happening. It dawned on him halfway through the movie The Empire was the bad guy. I was appalled. How could he be so dense when it was so easy and obvious to follow? Well, Time has had his laugh as is his wont. The tables have turned and I can’t remember much about the series, other than The Empire is the bad guy and C3PO was a whiny drama queen throughout.

I have a fancy to re-see these spectacles, although I am befuddled how to go about doing this. There have been more than a handful of new ones since I saw the first lot. I don’t know if it is better to see them in order of appearance or in order of story-timeline. Either way I need some Star Wars enthusiast to hold my hand and tell me what to see.[1]

My memory of ‘Star Wars’ resembles that of a man peeking through an old-fashioned keyhole of a door into a room. I see some things clearly, a few things are fuzzy on the periphery, but most of the room is not visible. Funny the things I do remember. I remember there was a line in the first movie [2] I found hilarious. It the one where the two droids walking into a cantina bar in which there are all sorts of creatures only to hear the bartender shout “We don’t serve their kind!” I remember several times questioning the laws of physics and biology being bent if not entirely discarded for the sake of a good story. Perhaps I was taking it all too seriously but I know some folks who take this Star Wars stuff quite seriously; Doubting their devotion is an effrontery along the line of questioning their religious beliefs.

I didn’t care for the shoot-em-up scenes nor the sword fights (which were sort of boring) but I liked the aliens and beasts. I like monsters and there were plenty to be had in the Star Wars movies. [3] I especially liked The Jawas, as they sounded like intoxicated chipmunks and I despised The Ewoks as too-cute-for words. I also liked Mr. Williams’ music which was well-matched to the movies, provided you could hear it over the blasts and roaring of the spacecraft, which by the way, would not happen in space as there is no air.

Yes, I want to view these movies again and see if I will as bedazzled as I was in the 70s-80s when I first saw them. I’ve longed to to choke someone using ‘The Force’, not for their impudence but for bad manners and dangling particles – Yoda excepted. The dear! He wasn’t speaking poor English but a sort of Middle English syntax. I still have my two inch-tall Yoda ‘action figure’ (don’t call it a doll). No, I haven’t seen “Baby Yoda” nor do I care to. Whoever made up that monstrosity can go suck a Bantha.

[1] Spo-fans who knows these sort of things: please give advice. I would be most grateful.

[2] I think the first movie is now considered the fourth movie – or maybe the fifth or the sixth by. The titles keep getting rearranged. Oh the pain.

[3] I wonder if some Star Wars nut-job put together a bestiary book. I am particularly intrigued to learn more about the what-do-you-call-it thing in which people were being thrown into its mouth in the desert scene. I say ‘mouth’ but it looked uncannily like an anus. Somebody in the drawing room was having fun wit this one.

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