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There’s just no pleasing The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections. I was on a roll of well-received entries, but this didn’t stop their propensity to grumble. Their recent email asked me to ‘loosen up’ and write something less introspective. I wasn’t aware they actually knew that word. As I don’t have anything to suit this purpose, I dug up another Spo-tale from the archives, fiddled with it a bit, and perhaps the boisterous board wont notice. Spo

hedgehog

Once upon a time and a very interesting time it was in the faraway State of Confusion lived two animals, Hedgehog and Porcupine. They were in a newly-formed relationship. Porcupine was coming off a painful LTR with Aardvark (painful for Aardvark that is).

Baby Porcupine 1 (2)

Although it was early-on in their relationship, already there were problems. First of all, there was the issue how to kiss without injury. Talk about rough trade! Second, their means of communicating was hindered by poor WiFi service. It easily went down, especially when they visited Rabbit who lived in The Elysian Fields. Customer service was no help, as it was staffed by sloths and snakes. Go figure.

However, their main matter was neatness. Hedgehog was content to ‘let the place go’ while Porcupine continually ran around trying to keep things tidy. Porcupine despised filth. He would not allow Hedgehog’s best friend Squirrel over for tea, on the issue of Squirrel having dirty nuts.

common_squirrel

One day Hedgehog fell into a depression, having not listened to his psychiatrist to keep taking his Lexapro. As a consequence, the place cluttered up more than usual with empty KFC buckets and ‘to go’ containers. Porcupine took umbrage. “You are a mess!!” he shouted at Hedgehog, “and Weasel will get you!’ But Hedgehog paid no heed. Porcupine announced he was leaving for Palm Springs to see some real pricks, and off he went.

Eventually the Dominos pizza boxes piled up and blocked the door, preventing Hedgehog from going out. Uber-eats had to be dropped down the chimney. Hedgehog got lost online and he forgot about Porcupine. But he felt OK.

In a week with two Tuesdays Hedgehog heard something burrowing through the trash. At first he suspected Rat, but then he remembered Rat was overseas, in Tewksbury, visiting the relations. It was Porcupine! He had come home! “What would you do without me?” he said after kissing carefully, and made Hedgehog tidy up the place and eat something wholesome. Then Porcupine insisted Hedgehog go outdoors and get some exercise. They went out and were immediately attacked and eaten by Weasel .

long_tailed_weasel

There is probably a moral in this, but I leave it to the Spo-fans to write one.

The winner with the best comment gets a Dominos Pizza date with The Sleazy Weasel.

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