I know a fellow nicknamed Jocko*; he has a habit to exclaim out loud the word ‘good !’ after everything that happens to him. He will do this even in the face of bad news or a bungle. By immediate focusing on ‘good’ he reports he can find something good, some lesson, some asset in the worst of situations. He doesn’t deny the bad – often that’s pretty obvious – this ritual helps him find something positive so that the event is not 100% misery. The plane is delayed? Good. He has time to read. The plan didn’t work? Good. Jocko and his team can learn something from it.
I’ve been trying to practice this to see if it is any good. Yesterday the Elantra was discovered to be dripping oil onto the garage floor; this may be why the oil light has been on for some time. The usual shop tells us there are no appointments available until the end of July. I had Monday off; I had a lot of fun activities planned which all included driving. At first reaction there was nothing at all ‘good’ about this, not by a long shot. I imagined Mr. Jocko would have to work very very hard to extract good from this disaster.
“Good” I exclaimed. I had to open up the hood and remember how to check the oil. I hadn’t been in there ever; it was quite dirty. I gave it a clean-up and I felt good to do so. When the mechanic lifts the bonnet he may be impressed. I checked the oil (low) and filled it with some oil we had on hand (good), and felt good for my industry. “Good” I exclaimed: this happened on my day off. Imagine if I had driven to work, leaking oil, only to have the car break down, unable to drive home. As for the day-off plans? “Good” I had an opportunity to stay home and go through all my ‘watch later’ YouTube cooking lectures, which I did. ‘Good’ we are obliged to go to another service shoppe; perhaps it will be a better experience than our usual one. ‘Good’ I got to call into work to explain I have no wheels and thus can’t get to MESA (a 45-minute drive) so I can stay put and work from home ala 2020.
I see how this approach makes one focus on the advantages and the problem solving benefits. I teach something like this to my patients, the ones who have a habit to immediate go to negative/the worse-case scenario in everything they think and do. “Oh, yeah?” they say, ‘how about …’ bringing up scenarios to defeat the approach.
I too find the ‘good’ approach challenging in the midst of politics, violence, war, and all the other matters afoot these days. I remind myself the practice isn’t to negate the gravity of things, merely not to fixate on them. Certainly we tend to turn into the things we practice. I could use less OMG this is a disaster/gloom complaining in my character.
Someone is organizing a AAA tow truck to haul the drippy thing to the dealership for its appointment on Thursday. Good. I don’t have to worry about this. I can do my day’s work and focus on my job. I will be home today when The Pool Man arrives. Good. I can ask him about the pool light device; can he fix it? I would like not to swim in the dark no more.
Good.
Let us hope so, anyway.
*He is well over four feet.
Spo-Reflections 
30 comments
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June 21, 2022 at 8:06 AM
Paul Brownsey
I suppose there is a danger of this approach toppling over into Dr Pangloss’s: “All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.”
June 21, 2022 at 8:18 AM
Urspo
I see a difference. Dr. P (if I remember right) saw all events as ‘good’. Jocko’s approach is to see events as bad, disappointing, not at all how it is supposed to be, and try to learn/grow/do what can be done. I suppose it is optimism vs. realism?
June 21, 2022 at 1:20 PM
Paul Brownsey
Yes. That’s why I said “a danger of this approach toppling over into…”.
June 21, 2022 at 8:27 AM
Moving with Mitchell
The best of all possible worlds? I’m trying to remember how that went for Candide.
June 21, 2022 at 8:32 AM
Urspo
Badly I recall.
June 21, 2022 at 8:28 AM
Robzilla, Native Of Slam Diego
I’m glad you checked the oil. If the engine is older, it’s likely leaking it as you saw. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. The seals get old when they age, so you just need to make sure to check the oil at least once a month and top it off as necessary. I went through all of that with my prior cars.
June 21, 2022 at 8:33 AM
Urspo
Yes, I am learning this. “Good”
June 21, 2022 at 9:14 AM
DwightW.
I not sure everything is “Good”, but it if it gives a person the strength or motivation to persevere , until their adaptive problem solving behavior kicks in, I’m all for it!
June 21, 2022 at 9:15 AM
Urspo
I think that’s the goal: rather than going into complaints/looking at the glass half-empty one can find something good therein. Two days ago stuck in line I thought ‘good” I can close my eyes and take some deep breaths when did I last do that?
June 21, 2022 at 9:41 AM
Old Lurker
It is tempting to find counterexamples to this principle, but I think your new approach is probably healthy. Keep it up!
June 21, 2022 at 10:12 AM
Urspo
I am partaking in it as an exercise to see its efficacy.
June 21, 2022 at 10:01 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
I agree that a problem solving approach is always the best way to handle troubles. It helps us feel we’re a little bit in control of the situation (even if objectively we’re not).
June 21, 2022 at 10:12 AM
Urspo
Feeling completely helpless, out of control is an awful feeling. CBT is somewhat based on re-examining these approaches.
June 21, 2022 at 10:19 AM
jefferyrn
Good for you. I don’t know if this is still the practice but Jiffy lube used to replace the oil plug with a rubber stopper because it was easier for them. They often leaked.
June 21, 2022 at 12:13 PM
Urspo
The problem all started soon after a trip to Jiffy Lube. We took it back, they redid all, assured us things were OK – and didn’t charge for the 2nd job.
I am curious to hear what the dealer says
June 21, 2022 at 12:34 PM
Will Jay
Indeed, I believe that all automotive failures that occur at home are in the best possible location. As you note, the pandemic has given you the tools to work from home, so you are in a safe location and not suffering loss of income necessary yo make the car repairs.
While I may not say good, I will say that it could have been much worse (and we don’t want to know how).
June 21, 2022 at 1:09 PM
Glenda
my car, Rav 4, has developed a problem the dealership says can’t be fixed because the problem doesn’t exist as they can’t find it. The back hatch door now opens and closes on its own anytime it wants too. Even while I’m driving. It’s scary.
June 21, 2022 at 4:51 PM
Urspo
nothing is so frustrating is to have a car problem for which the mechanics cannot figure out the matter. Worse, having a physical symptom the physicians can’t diagnose either. Your situation does sound scary.
June 21, 2022 at 7:02 PM
Linda Practical Parsimony
Glenda,
Take it to an electrical auto specialist.
June 21, 2022 at 2:46 PM
Debbie W.
How well I remember you mentioning your friend Jocko before. I very much like his approach and have tried to employ it from time to time. It works well in certain situations, and not in others. At the very least, it gives me a little more strength when coping with difficult times and difficult situations. Best of luck
with your car and the Pool Man!
June 21, 2022 at 4:52 PM
Urspo
As a right this, the AAA man ( or someone like him) has hauled away the car, still dripping a little Hansel and Gretel trail of drops to the faraway Scottsdale dealership.
June 21, 2022 at 3:57 PM
David Godfrey
In search of the silver lining. A good finder. I know the type, may have been accused of that at some points in my life. I once wrote a memo to a boss that started out “I am mad as hell, and that is a good thing, because it means I still care.”
June 21, 2022 at 4:52 PM
Urspo
I like that.
I tend to use the phrase “it’s an ill wind that blows nobody good” to remind me and others despite something going badly are disappointing we can learn from it.
June 21, 2022 at 4:55 PM
Pipistrello
There is something quite satisfying about cleaning up something that doesn’t really see the light of day or have much of an audience, viz inside your engine bay. Your new mechanic cannot fail to be impressed. Good!
Voltaire and the Pool Man? The characters you find around a typical visit to one of your pages!
June 21, 2022 at 7:47 PM
Urspo
I had to think there and scroll up to recall how Mr. Voltaire came on stage.
I like to think my blog or mind are open to all sorts of drop-ins, not unlike Samantha’s relations.
June 22, 2022 at 4:58 AM
Pipistrello
I’m sure Mr. Voltaire doth know Aunt Clara. They both collect doorknobs, or some such similar hobby?
June 21, 2022 at 7:07 PM
Linda Practical Parsimony
If you had driven the car with low oil and dripping, it might have meant a new motor or something expensive.
My car had to be fixed once. The company (government) was paying for it. After a lot of hassle, I got to stay home. Otherwise, my boss who demanded I take it to their approved mechanic would have had to drive me home 50 miles and come get me for work the next day…lol. So, they let me work from home….GOOD!
June 21, 2022 at 7:48 PM
Urspo
Good, indeed!
June 28, 2022 at 6:06 AM
Sassybear
This is just an alternate version of “every cloud has a silver lining” no? I do this always: look for something good out of every bad. It sometimes starts with a joke to avoid getting dour over bad things, but often leads to genuine appreciate for something good that came out of a bad situation. Example: I have lived without a colon for 20 years which has caused many problems, much pain, and several surgeries. The silver lining: I face no risk of colon cancer. The silver lining is almost always there, but sometimes you have to look for it. It doesn’t mean that it’s good that bad things happen. It means that even in the worst of darkness, you can usually find some light.
June 28, 2022 at 8:07 PM
Urspo
my version is “it’s an ill wind that blows nobody good” which is the same thing viz. finding something good to extract in a bad thing. good for you!