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#23. It might sound obvious, but a pint of water before bed after a big night avoids a clanger of a hanger.

Thems who partake in spirits soon learn when you’ve been ‘too free with the creature’ [1] this results in nasty next-day headaches and other woes. The alcohol molecule puts a chock-hold on the anti-diuretic hormone, causing loss of fluid and consequent dehydration and electrolytes imbalance. Oh the horror. Drinking a pint of water before bed after having ‘been to Barbados’ helps with the loss. Better yet is to have a few glasses of water in between your tipples. Salty treats slow down the absorption of alcohol and supplies some sodium. In the good old days saloons used to place bowls of nibbles out on the bar for this reason, but those were happier times. Nowadays one cannot find a peanut or nasty chip in a dive to save one’s life, let along get a a decent dry Manhattan with a twist of lemon, but I digress.

Tip #23-A: Pop a B-complex with sufficient thiamine. before a night out with The Philippians. Demon drink depletes the dendrites of vital vitamins which in worse-case scenarios causes a very nasty memory condition named Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. [2] Take a Centrum Silver along with the mentioned pint of water and you ought to be OK.

Tip #23-B: To improve your life more than lightly is not to become ‘too free with Sir Richard’ in the first place. [3] That way you hold onto your fluids and electrolytes, and it require no pints before bedtime. Indeed, drinking a pint of water before bedtime when sober will NOT slightly improve your life as it mars a good night’s sleep.

Urs Truly is known to ‘clip the King’s English’ but seldom if ever does he get to the point of Mr. Franklin’s more colorful expressions for temulence. When Someone is the designated-driver I may have a dry martini (no rubbish). This is signs my own death warrant as I will be cold as a mackerel come midnight and no amount of pints will prevent the rawther-under-the-weather feeling come morning. Oh the embarrassment. Improving your life even slightly always comes with a tradeoff. I will drink responsibly with my intermittent glasses of water and order my martinis with two olives although olives take up too much room in such a small glass.

[1] Benjamin Franklin had a legendary list of 200 euphemisms for being drunk. Look it up why don’t you; some of them are quite amusing.

[2] Not to be confused with Rimsky-Korsakov Syndrome, which is a musical condition.

[3] I am dying to know the origin of this one. Assumedly Sir Richard was a cheap drunk or one of those closet-cases who lets his hair down to play darts with his buddies only to later swear it isn’t him but the alcohol. Urs Truly has met a few friends of Sir Richard in his lifetime. Oh the horror.

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August 2022

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