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Note: The Board of Directors doesn’t like this entry, inspired by The Norns. They almost nixed its publication. I did so while they were arguing over whose turn it was to walk the wyvern. Spo

I wrote this on Sunday evening, which is an awful time for me to write. I often have ‘The Sunday night blues’ despite there is nothing bad about Monday. Indeed it is usually a fine day for me. Regardless, my moods went down into a pit and quite a deep one at that. Sunday afternoon I made the foolish mistake to have a look-see at the news which was wall-to-wall gloom the type that gives one the awful feeling of being on a sinking ship and the passengers are running around in hysterics rather than cooperating to save the vessel and no one is coming to help. I have long struggled against intermittent bouts of despair, despite having lived through four or five personal Armageddons. Each one tends to say ‘this one is the big one and you won’t survive”. I recognize the pattern yet still get the emotions. Stinko.

Once upon a time a wrote an essay on the Archetype of Hope. It wasn’t a bad piece for the time. Unfortunately the times have changed and finding Hope among the Demons of Man is getting harder for me to do. One wants – hopes – we are erroneously wiping ourselves into hysterics and gloom influenced by ‘negative bias’ and social media’s propensity to focus on the bad, and it isn’t all that bad. Once in a while I start to make a morbid list of the things for which I have no hope, but I always stop myself as this is lunacy.

What I have wanted since I was a boy was to have some powerful strong person assure me things will be OK. It think I was junior high school when I connected the dots this sort of being doesn’t exist and worse, thems in charge aren’t either.

Regardless, I doggedly persevere to do the right thing and my duty. The late Queen was an inspiration to me to keep calm and carry on through thick and thin. She had her down days but she kept going. Although I have little to no faith in things, I keep up my health and I put money away as if there is a future.

Last night in the evening gloom I watched the third episode of ‘Sandman’. He goes down to Hell and has to fight Lucifer Morningstar to obtain his helm.* They have a battle of shift-changing a la “The Sword in the stone.” LM does her ultimate move by becoming Anti-life, The beast of judgment, the dark at the end of everything. She smiles and asks Sandman what can survive the anti-life? What could he do as his next move? He slowly rises from defeat (with music and light swelling) to say:

“I……… HOPE.”

He then asks her what is it that can kill hope, and Lucifer has no response. She rules hell with the hope of reentering Heaven. She tells him to take the helm and go.

That scene stiffened my spine some to keep me going and I am going to bed without tears.

*In the series The Ruler of Hell is played by a woman, don’t ask me why.

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September 2022

Spo-Reflections 2006-2018