Mistress Maddie (the dear!) wondered the other day why people (meaning patients) don’t come back to me. MM is better than The Muses (and dressed better too) to get me thinking. This entry won’t be particularly entertaining to the average Spo-fan but it’s good exercise for me to write out my thoughts.
Being a scientist at heart, I want data to hypothesize why folks don’t return, and I haven’t any, worse luck! I don’t know the percentage of patience who are seen once for an evaluation and don’t return. Established patients drop out of treatment all the time as all and I don’t know why either. Very few if any of them tell me or the office ‘why I ain’t coming back”. Some businesses send out surveys to clients hoping to get such information. The Boss and The Overlords aren’t curious enough to look into these matters – that or they are busy enough as it is handling the ones who keep coming. I know there are some nasty reviews online about me – all doctors have some – but these aren’t enough apparently to keep away new patients. There is no lack of customers; I don’t lack for business. If one drops out there are two or three looking to come in.
I believe the majority of folks who don’t return do so from of simple economics – they can’t afford it. Their insurance changes or other matters take precedence. In some ways Psychiatry is a ‘luxury’ specialty. If you can only afford only one, the dentist or the shrink, the former wins hands down. There is also the ongoing belief depression/anxiety are things one can do on their own, pull yourself up by your boot straps why don’t you.
Another factor is people move away. About once a month a patient announces they are moving out of state and this is farewell. Before video and telephone appointments became available, a move across town was enough to change doctors, especially if you have driving anxiety.
When I am aware of someone having dropped out without explanation of course I wonder if I did something wrong. It’s human nature to project into a black box worse-case scenarios and personal short-comings. Both are probably not true or not much of a factor.
In Medicine there is something called ‘goodness of click’ where you ‘gel’ or not with your doctor. The physician before you may be brilliant but if they don’t feel ‘right’ you aren’t going to stick around. Sometimes patients of the female persuasion I sense transfer onto me their trauma emotions upon seeing a male and this is too upsetting. In the men folk (the straight ones) they sometimes pick up I am not (the red high heel shoe-shaped door stop keeps giving me away) and they don’t feel comfortable with a queer shrink or won’t work with me out of moral indignation.*
Another factor is along the line of ‘getting more than you bargained for”. Sometimes folks come in with a superficial complaint such as insomnia and in the evaluation process all sorts of stuff comes up like trauma, drug/alcohol factors, or subconscious issues now revealed. Working on the real problems and not patching the symptom, is too much for some; they get scared and run off. Sometimes these types return in time when they feel more ready. For them I leave the porch light on.
After thirty years of shrinking heads I don’t fool myself I have things down right. If I am doing something wrong that turns folks away I would like to know so I can better myself. This sort of data just isn’t available to me. My intuition tells me I am not doing anything grossly wrong other than failing to dress up to contemporary professional standards.**
Jungians have a sort-of cosmic approach the patients who need me will come, and the ones who go and return do so when they are ready. Thems unhappy with me find someone else. So I don’t worry about the ones who don’t return. I work with the ones who are there. Considering my full dance card it’s good as it is.
*While I won’t discuss politics with patients on occasion patients perceive I am a tree-hugging-save-the whales liberal and they won’t return for that reason. These sorts are rare cases, for right-leaning types seldom if ever seek out mental health care. They either don’t believe in mental illness or see it as a moral deficit they ought to fix themselves. If they can’t they commit suicide using the guns they all have. Death before admitting frailty.
**At least in the eyes of the The APA Secret Police. On the whole patients like my Spo-shirts and The Bosses not once have told me to put on dress shirt/tie and trousers for appearance sake. There is some value in ‘dressing the part’ to convey authority but this has never been my style.
41 comments
February 2, 2023 at 3:33 AM
Moving with Mitchell
I once read that possibly 90% of those seeking or respecting mental health therapy are left-leaning socially and politically.
February 2, 2023 at 7:04 AM
Urspo
one way of looking at this is thems on the left are self-reflective, interested in growth, and are at ease to reach out when help is needed.
February 2, 2023 at 10:42 AM
Linda Practical Parsimony
Maybe they are secure enough to admit they are not all-knowing and correct all the time.
February 2, 2023 at 12:33 PM
Old Lurker
Another way to interpret this is to conclude that people on the left are the crazy ones.
February 2, 2023 at 4:30 AM
David Godfrey
As long as there is a waiting list to get in your door, the overlords won’t care why people don’t return. I suspect money is often the issue.
February 2, 2023 at 7:05 AM
Urspo
The only time the Boss has concerns is when there is a blank on my dance card viz. no money coming in.
February 2, 2023 at 4:32 AM
DwightW.
If someone has insurance and you are dropped from their plan, goodbye sweetheart. Price in care is the most important factor
February 2, 2023 at 7:06 AM
Urspo
Surprisingly not as many as you would think. I have a handful of patients who pay out of pocket to see me rather than see someone else who is ‘covered’. They want me/consistency of care. I don’t know what percentage is this sort.
February 2, 2023 at 5:44 AM
johnmichael42003
I think your theory about a patient being able to handle this on their own probably holds true for a lot. I remember in one of my psychiatry classes the professor saying that once the meds start to work and they feel better, they can sometimes become non-compliant and therefore because they feel good again, go off the meds thinking they are cured. He had also theorized that those who are depressed don’t have the energy to do harm, but once the meds kick in and they start feeling better, that’s when you have to start asking them things about how they really feel (e.g. about self harm).
Anyway, in the end I also think it’s like anything else, people change, lives change, schedules change and therefore your patient intake does too.
February 2, 2023 at 7:07 AM
Urspo
You are correct: when folks feel better they often stop treatment. Sometimes they come back “I was feeling O for awhile but then I got depressed again” as the chief complaint.
February 2, 2023 at 5:46 AM
Ron
You left out probably the most obvious reason why some of your patients don’t return, they’re cured.
February 2, 2023 at 7:07 AM
Urspo
only hams get cured.
February 3, 2023 at 5:26 AM
Ron
I noticed.
February 2, 2023 at 5:56 AM
Mistress Borghese
I completely agree with the goodness of click concept. I get anxious enough going to the doctor’s and dentist, even though I know I’m healthy…but it’s nice when you click. When my long-term doctor retired was went into panic mode , worrying if I’d click with his replacement…and luckily, I did. And Muses?!?!?! No pressure there. What will I inspire you to do next? You’re such a gem Spo!!!
February 2, 2023 at 7:07 AM
Urspo
I am always glad to hear from you; you can inspire me any time.
February 2, 2023 at 7:28 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
That “left vs right” dichotomy in seeking therapy is very interesting. I’ve never heard of that before but it does make a certain amount of sense.
February 2, 2023 at 7:32 AM
Urspo
Every once in a while I get a guy of the ‘right bent’ looking both sullen and uncomfortable. He’s been dragged in or forced by someone (usually his wife, on threat of do this or else) about his mood/swings etc. They are fearful of a combination of Freud/Hannibal Lector/some woo-woo leftist. I go into my ‘butch’ mode of we have a project to solve/what are his options etc. Sometimes this gets an alliance enough they will do what needs doing and return.
February 2, 2023 at 8:39 AM
Laurel Hill
Just found your blog and this post is fascinating. I have a long time therapist that I paid out of pocket for when I had insurance that didn’t cover her. She isn’t over dressed, nor is she easy on me when I need strong advice. My hubby and I did have a therapist in California years ago when he was still drinking and I complained about it being a problem. Her suggestion to him was to smoke pot to relax instead. We got into our car, looked at each other and burst out laughing. Luckily, we got past it all, but we still laugh about that session. We fired her shortly thereafter.
February 2, 2023 at 9:13 AM
Urspo
First of all, thank you for stopping by and for leaving a comment. I appreciate both!
Second, that was a fun story; I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Tales of odd-ball therapists and advice are rampant in the field.
February 2, 2023 at 10:31 AM
Robzilla
I’m wagering it’s the insurance. If you’re no longer in network, they probably had to go elsewhere for treatment. I know my last employer changed their insurance plans, and I’m sure other companies had to do the same to cut costs.
February 2, 2023 at 12:06 PM
Urspo
I tend to assume a no-show is mostly economics like insurance matters, and not because ‘something I did or said”
February 2, 2023 at 12:14 PM
Debbie W.
In spite of your warning that this post would not be entertaining, it is! And as usual, I learned something – that there is a phrase for what I have felt (or not felt) with doctors in the past: “the goodness of click”. I have changed primary care doctors twice, due to an uncomfortableness that I couldn’t really name. Your style of dress would seem to make you open and approachable, fine qualities for a doctor to have. It is reassuring that The Bosses have not made you change your style. Sometimes I wish more doctors wore Spo-style shirts!
February 2, 2023 at 2:01 PM
Urspo
I remember having a new patient whom I sensed right from the get go he was not happy to be here and was looking for anything to conclude his decision this was all rubbish. He took a look at my shirt and said straight off “why are you dressed like that?” In an instant size up I took the response “oh, you don’t like it?” he said doctors are supposed to wear shirt and ties. I pointed out I made this shirt to see him squirm. Needless to say he didn’t return.
February 2, 2023 at 12:39 PM
Old Lurker
Psst. MM’s name is Maddie, not Maggie.
I feel it is a crying shame that you do not have good data on the no-shows. In my experience bad mental health treatment can deepen trauma, so if there is something you are doing that is harming the no-shows then you should at least be aware of it. Otherwise it is too easy to rationalize away one’s bad habits. (Ask me how I know this. Or don’t, preferably.)
February 2, 2023 at 2:03 PM
Urspo
Oh the embarrassment. Thank you. I fixed it.
I remember vividly doing something in a therapy session I thought “OK” only to have the psychiatrist yell at me how awful that was. I felt terrible. I made a vow right there I would never yell at a patient as this was so horrid
February 2, 2023 at 3:09 PM
Glenda
I always laugh out loud when you say you are shrinking heads. I picture you holding up your latest one as you joyfully dance around the fire. Maybe the no returns get that mental image too.
February 3, 2023 at 8:05 AM
Urspo
I should write an entry on the word ‘shrink’ and why I use it. Thank you for the inspiration.
February 2, 2023 at 4:56 PM
Steven
One thing that I didn’t see discussed is your sexuality. Do your clients know that you are gay? If patients leave because you’re a tree-hugging liberal, I can only imagine how many leave if they find out you’re gay. But I also wonder how many come to see you because you ARE gay. If I needed help, I would find it beneficial that you were gay as “you know where I’m coming from” and some of the experiences I’ve had you can relate to. That would be a “click” for me. 🙂
February 3, 2023 at 8:08 AM
Urspo
I do not have a rainbow flag in my office or portrait of Someone on my desk to make it obvious. Someone sometimes snickers it doesn’t take Freud to deduce what I am by my demeanor (bitch). Sometimes people show up knowing I am gay as they’ve done research (I am on panels) for this exact reason. Once in awhile I sense someone slowly connecting the dots through the evaluation and watch them struggle with their decision to stay or not come back on this topic.
February 6, 2023 at 11:06 PM
Richard
Uhmm, Yes Spo is gay. I would hope that if i need to consult a Doctor, they would already know about this. They might be a little familiar with the territory. So i don’t have to explain everything all over again. It was hard enough the first few times.
I tend to like gayness, it just comes naturally.
I think, Steven, that you worry too much about gay sexuality. I think you just can’t help it, because then what would happen?
Would you be gay? It is so disappointing to still be talking about this. I write to you as an old man. I live on the slopes of Mount Celibacy and i am an old wanker.
You have no right to tell us about your clicks, and your opinions about gay sexuality just ruined my evening meal.
What exactly do you think? We still have an intact society, thanks to us gays and lgbtq oddballs and all kinds of societies.
Do you think we are going to come and (language warning- fuck you in the ass?) Is that what you think? Is that the best you can do? Where are you getting your information from?
Go take a nap.
Dear Steven, i read your message again. Maybe you are a teenager. Maybe you can go hang with the treehuggers. I never met a treehugger that i did not like, although i do disagree sometimes.
February 2, 2023 at 8:25 PM
Will Jay
“…the red high-heeled door stop…”
A Cha-cha heel?
February 3, 2023 at 8:08 AM
Urspo
Indeed it is!
February 2, 2023 at 11:08 PM
Pat
In my area demand is high for Docs of all stripes.So wait times for appointments can be months. Making people reluctant to switch. I only ever didn’t go back to Doctors twice. One an eye doctor, the other a GP. Both were more than an hour late for an appointment, with not even a hint of an explanation or apology. When I asked the front desk person if there was some issue, the reply was it’s always like this. For the GP, after a 45 minute wait in the land of well thumbed People magazines, I was directed to a room, given a gown to put on and weighed and measured by an assistant. After 25 minutes of sitting in the gown, I got dressed asked for my paperwork back and left.
Both Doctors are still working, but their reviews often
say long wait times. My two footed protest didn’t seem to change anything.
February 3, 2023 at 8:09 AM
Urspo
There are more docs retiring and less going into Psychiatry, combined if an aging population and more demand for shrinks. I am fairly secure in having work as long as I want to work, which may be awhile as I like what I do. I am quite fortunate on both ways.
February 3, 2023 at 7:31 AM
Paul Brownsey
Perhaps you succeed in curing them all!
February 3, 2023 at 8:11 AM
Urspo
Ha! Don’t I wish! Most mental illness is along the line of other chronic conditions such as HTN, DM, HIV and the like they need maintenance. So much of my work is being on The Journey with them.
February 3, 2023 at 8:18 AM
Paul Brownsey
I was going to diagnose lack of self-esteem in not floating that possibility but thought that would be cheeky…
February 3, 2023 at 8:19 AM
Paul Brownsey
But, seriously. You make your readers feel good about thenmselves. Couldn’t you have that effect on your clients, to?
February 3, 2023 at 2:52 PM
Urspo
It is both amazing and scary how much influence I have even when I think I am doing no good. Indeed this is true of all of us. It reminds us even the simplest thoughtless things we do/say to another has great consequences.
February 4, 2023 at 2:20 AM
Richard
Dont’t take it personally. Sometimes if i am going to travel 100 miles to phoenix for spo to tell me about the gymnasium, well probably i wont do that.
February 4, 2023 at 12:18 PM
Urspo
it seems sensible !