Sometimes…..

… I find it hard to get up in the morning, not because I don’t want to start the day, but because it is toasty warm under the covers and the room is cold. I can lay there for thirty minutes nudging myself to get up and brave the chill.

… I ask Someone does he want the last piece of something when I really want it and should be asking ‘may I have the last piece?” If I said that he would 100% say go ahead. This direct approach sounds too aggressive to my Midwestern roots, so I ask does he want it hoping he hears the indirect speech act to say ‘of course you take it’. If he says ‘sure, thanks” there is a part of me peeved.

… Harper’s favorite treat, ‘bacon bits’, looks and smells good enough to try but I never do. I don’t as I’m afraid I will like them and poor Harper won’t get any more.

… I light a candle for the pure pleasure of knowing there is no parent telling me I shouldn’t play with matches. I can do what I want as I am an adult. So there.

… a teaspoon of mustard makes a good addition to macaroni and cheese; it give flavor and ‘ummph’ but not too much or it will taste mustard like.

… I have so many ‘watch later’ educational lectures/videos/podcast I realize it is not humanely possible to do them and I erase them all. This is rawther nice to do.

… I wonder if I should do skin care products. I see ads for soaps or cleaners or powders or pastes or lotions – things to eliminate dryness or wrinkles or blemishes. According to these my skin would glow and I wouldn’t have as many wrinkles and all would adore me. If anyone knows of something good that isn’t snake oil I would be keen to know.

…I go to the walk-in closet and see my half dozen suits and dress jacket, dust on their shoulders, unworn for years, and consider throwing them out as when will I ever wear them? They don’t fit anymore and would need tailoring to do so. Best to throw them out. Yet I keep them thinking someday I may need them or fit in them again. Fat chance of that. Better to get one fitted and toss the rest out.

…There is rain and it invariably cheers me up to see it. Rain feels like a blessing for me.

… I realize my main source of anxiety is wanting something that I cannot control. When I come to terms with this and focus on what I can not control anxiety dissipates or at least no longer dominates.

… A cup of coffee is preferred to a cup of tea – usually when I need to wake up and fast. Anyone know of a brand of which they are fond? I am open to suggestions.