God gave us fingers–Ma says, “Use your fork.”
God gave us voices–Ma says, “Don’t scream.”
Ma says eat broccoli, cereal and carrots.
But God gave us tasteys for maple ice cream.
One of the main ‘chief complaints’ I hear from patients isn’t depression or anxiety or mood swings, it is low motivation. People remonstrate they have no motivation to do something they know they should or want to do. Related to low motivation is the complain of ‘lacking willpower’. This means they have a modicum of motivation to do something but aren’t doing it. This usually is about being more virtuous: eating better; exercising; quitting a bad habit like smoking or eating nasty chips. The lack of motivation is often felt to be from depression while the lack of willpower is supposedly coming from a ‘failure of character’.
When low motivation is happening, the first task is to find any context: is it part of a depression or a hormonal problem or a physical matter?. If so, treat the condition and hopefully the low motivation improves.
The ‘lack of willpower’ requires more education than treatment. Patients often hope I will give them some sort of ‘pep pill’ to create motivation to clean that closet or do their taxes or assist them to stop eating late at night or buying things they don’t really need. Alas, medications don’t work for this, much to everyone’s disappointment.
These patients don’t like insight – they know eating right or exercise and paying bills are ‘good’. They sometimes joke their intellect is at war (and losing) to something else – and they aren’t wrong. We are animals; all (?) living entities have evolved to avoid pain and go for the goodies like high-caloric foods. Humans developed higher functions like reason and insight and the ability to accessorize but Mother Nature forgot to erase the more primitive drives still programmed in the lower parts of the brain.*
I educate their avoidance of a messy house or taxes is understandable. We are wired to avoid doing things dreary, tedious and painful (like my men). On the flip side, we are wired to for the high-calorie crunchies. It’s not our fault we no longer are out in the wilderness eating as much as we can when something substantive comes our way. There were no bags of nasty chips or barrels of ice cream on the African savannah. I thought of this the other day when I foolishly looked into the candy dish in the home office. Patience above! Therein were some gummi bears. A minute ago I wasn’t thinking of such nor was I peckish. Seeing these lovelies set off several autonomic nerve systems that all sang out hallelujah! and zip the sweeties were gone, eaten with relish – even as my upper brain shouted out should statements of shame. Oh the horror.
So, what to do about the conflict between the upper and lower parts of our noggins? Being a Jungian I like to use archetypal images. “Shadow” energy should not be denied or exorcised; to do the former bites you in the butt and to try the later is not going to work. You are both St. Gallus and The Bear. The bear in you always goes for the sweets and runs away (or hibernates) to avoid work or pain. It is up to your saintly part to put up impediments so the bear in your doesn’t have easy access to the sweets. For example, the candy bowl in my office was ‘right there” and had no barriers for me getting at them. About a month ago, they were in the freezer, underneath brown parcels of frozen meat. If I had a hankering for candy I would have to get up and go to the freezer, remove the parcels, take out the candy, and let them thaw. These steps are enough for Gallus to win and the bear (who is lazy) not to. It was foolish of me to have moved them.**
Another impediment is NOT TO HAVE IT IN THE HOUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE. If I buy bags of nasty chips or boxes of crackers, dammit they are going to get eaten, St. Gallus can go jump in the lake. At Uncle Albertsons he, not the bear, makes the grocery list. Time sucking apps are eliminated from the phone, or put into files in the back with extra passwords making them hard to get to and open – or eliminated from the phone all together. Vanity sometimes is useful to get things done. I told Someone I want to weigh myself every Wednesday and please ask me each week did I do so. If I had a spending problem I would ask him to hold onto the credit cards and give me so much money per week (or day) and no more. I also have an app “Way of Life” that lights up a cheerful green for each day record I do my stretches, floss, and read something. It puts up a bloody red light and a nasty sound when I don’t. While this isn’t 100%, these goals are sure better than when I wasn’t recording them.
Those are about thwarting immediate pleasures; what about attending to tasks tedious or painful? I have mentioned these before. First we acknowledge people avoid doing something because it’s boring or painful or of no immediate consequence. Don’t look at the forest but at the first tree before you. The goal of ‘do my taxes’ or ‘clean out the office” should be broken down into a small, short step done daily (preferably at the same time) for 5 minutes. If you find ‘the ball is rolling’ keep going. Doing something is better than doing nothing. Get someone to assist or hold you accountable. We are more likely to do something if there is a direct quickly associated consequence. Not cleaning the room means only the room remains so and you feel bad. Not cleaning the room -and having your spouse post it on Facebook or donates a dollar to the Ron DeSantis for president fundraiser is something else.
I point out Bear Tamer/Bear dichotomy feels like Bear is in charge and unbeatable but he is not. St. Gallus wins in the end when we give him assistance. Motivation and so-called will power – or lack there of – are out of the equation irrelevant to doing the task at hand.
*Mostly in the brain stem, near the parts that keep us breathing and the heart beating, to show you how ingrained longing for food is.
**I don’t remember doing this. I must have unconsciously acted out or put them in the bowl to thaw and happily forgot I did so.
26 comments
March 23, 2023 at 3:22 AM
Ron
My head hurts now.
March 23, 2023 at 7:00 AM
Urspo
Take some whiskey.
March 23, 2023 at 4:24 PM
Ron
A “Zombie” would do the trick.
March 23, 2023 at 3:35 AM
Debbie W.
So many good reminders here, and the bear tamer imagery is most helpful. Too bad there isn’t a pill provide motivation, but at least there are tools as you have outlined above. “Notes from the office” posts always slightly improve my life! 😉
March 23, 2023 at 7:01 AM
Urspo
I’m glad of that.
Most of the time I am writing ‘notes from the office” to try to clear concepts that are ‘psych 101″ for my own benefit. I hope Spo-fans will enjoy and learn something.
March 23, 2023 at 4:24 AM
DwightW.
I’ve finally realized , if I don’t do it it won’t get done. Caregiving is a huge extra responsibility and with two dogs . It’s good to be retired. I get willpower , because there are people and animals much more needy than me. I’d certainly love to sleep till ten AM some morning undisturbed, but that’s impossible . Necessity and realization of necessity is the mother of invention.
March 23, 2023 at 7:03 AM
Urspo
Yours is an example of consequence: if you don’t do something the consequences are big. Not cleaning the closet or eating right doesn’t have immediate consequences. Thems that delay doing their taxes often do so at the last minute with the threat of penalty now looming.
March 23, 2023 at 4:24 AM
Paul Brownsey
Could it be that *sometimes* (not always) the ‘low motivation’ functions as an invitation to consider whether the task is worth doing anyway? Sure, you’d (that’s the generic you) be embarrassed for someone to see the jumbled inside of your closet but, really, so long as you can find today’s clothes, does it matter? Might the guilt about the closet be a hangover from the ‘good children are clean and tidy at all times’ ethos you (generic again) were brought up in?
–Can’t write any more, must wash the breakfast dishes, I have a rule they *must* be washed by noon or…
March 23, 2023 at 7:05 AM
Urspo
Indeed so. Low motivation is often due to.. wait of it.. the task is no fun/not greatly worth doing. It’s a ‘should statement’ to have a cleaned out closet. Having a messy closet isn’t important per se.
Sometimes low motivation is psyche’s way to stop you from doing something useless or foolish.
March 23, 2023 at 7:16 AM
Paul Brownsey
I like your reference to “should” statements. A university friend of mine who became a clinical psychologist said that he and his colleagues used to refer to a certain sort of patient as suffering from “musterbation”. (I hope Autocorrect doesn’t alter that…)
March 23, 2023 at 7:28 AM
Urspo
Our heads are full up with ‘should’ statements. Here’s a line from “Ghosts” by Ibsen:
“It is not only what we have inherited from our father and mother that “walks” in us. It is all sorts of dead ideas, and lifeless old beliefs, and so forth. They have no vitality, but they cling to us all the same, and we cannot shake them off. Whenever I take up a newspaper, I seem to see ghosts gliding between the lines. There must be ghosts all the country over, as thick as the sands of the sea. And then we are, one and all, so pitifully afraid of the light.”
March 23, 2023 at 7:34 AM
Paul Brownsey
I suppose there are *some* “should” statements that are rationally and autonomously generated, not mere hangovers: for instance, I may have the thought, “I should check that I have enough in the bank to cover the cost of that new smartphone before I place the order.”
March 23, 2023 at 5:31 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
I didn’t even know that gummi bears could be frozen.
March 23, 2023 at 7:06 AM
Urspo
Probably they shouldn’t, but buried in the freezer is a better way at me not eating them.
March 23, 2023 at 5:36 AM
David Godfrey
Interesting, thought provoking, helpful. Often getting started is the hardest step.
March 23, 2023 at 7:07 AM
Urspo
Getting started is the hardest step. Which is why taking one step is the way to go.
March 23, 2023 at 7:59 AM
Robzilla
The chips I bought yesterday were the opposite of nasty. Have you ever tasted taco flavored Doritos? I rarely see them in store and Vons had them.
I’m pretty sure a job could be the source of a lot of those things you mentioned. The mental anguish can easily create a lot of those bad habits.
March 23, 2023 at 8:23 AM
Urspo
The adjective ‘nasty’ actually means ‘evil’ that chips are oh so delicious and I would eat the whole bag (regardless of size) and none are bad.
My soul swoons on the notion of Taco Doritos. Then again any Doritos is heavenly. Nasty!
March 23, 2023 at 11:16 AM
Old Lurker
I am afraid that I have very low resistance to bears.
Often I know what is good for me and know what needs to be done in order to accomplish it, but I am upset so I deliberately and knowingly sabotage myself. Then I wonder why my life is such a mess. Clearly I have a failure of character.
March 23, 2023 at 11:24 AM
Urspo
Nah you have a complex that seems hellbent on having things its way and making life miserable. Tell it to f*ck off.
March 23, 2023 at 1:07 PM
Parnassus
It seems that part of success and happiness is keeping up with your responsibilities, but another part involves knowing when to let go of things or not letting yourself get overwhelmed.
–Jim
March 23, 2023 at 1:21 PM
Urspo
Indeed so.
March 23, 2023 at 5:19 PM
BadNoteB
I’ve learned to make a written list of procrastinated projects, place the list under a pillow, then take a 60-minute nap. If the list still bothers me upon awakening, repeat the nap protocol until symptoms ease.
Willpower needs serious improvement. It is number one on my list of procrastinated projects.
March 24, 2023 at 6:40 AM
Urspo
I tell patients who have buying problems to put all purchases into the cart and return in 24 hours to re-evaluate its need.
March 23, 2023 at 7:57 PM
Will Jay
My excuse is that I have a house full of rainy day projects and we have had a drought.
I understand the trick of hiding things in the freezer to make them immediately unappealing. I tried this once with leftover Halloween candy and discovered that I prefer frozen Reese’s peanut butter cups and frozen Snickers bars. I had to go back to the rule of not having it in the house. There is another rule for baked goods. With the exceptions for Christmas Stollen and good multi grain bread, baked goods must be made on the premises. This accomplishes a couple of things – when you actually see the amounts of butter and sugar that go into the final product it is sobering, also the time to prepare and bake sometimes distracts the bear.
March 24, 2023 at 6:41 AM
Urspo
Not having things in the house in the first place is a common recommendation I give out. It’s always the same – seeing the patients gasp at the notion.