I haven’t written about complexes in a while, so here an interesting one.
The “Cassandra Complex” isn’t seen very often, but it is intriguing when it occurs.
Cassandra was the daughter of Priam, king of Troy. She was priestess to the god Apollo. When she spurned the god’s advances, Apollo put a curse on her – she would always see and speak the truth – but nobody would ever believe her.
She ran around telling people things what were true but nobody believed her. She predicted the downfall of Troy and the gruesome fates of various Greeks to no one’s benefit. Apparently nobody stopped to consider her track record was 100% spot-on. She kept on howling prophecies of doom to no avail and eventually she went off the deep end. She was murdered, just as she prophesied.
When I see someone in the grips of a Cassandra Complex, they are upset nobody is listening to what they are saying; nobody believes their story. Despite being ‘right’ they are looked upon as crazy or ‘wrong’ or even evil.
Interesting; most cases are women. Most had some sort of abuse they can’t convince others really happened.
As in every complex, there are positive and negative elements.
It is good to proclaim truth, even when nobody wants to hear it. I know many valiant people speaking out against lies and falsehood even though it causes ‘trouble’.
On the negative, pleading for people to believe you often drives one to distraction. People in the grip of the complex can tear themselves up in the need/demand that everyone concur they are right.
I try to work with patients not to lose themselves in the battle to be heard. Sometimes it is OK to let go of the need for people to admit you are right. You know the truth of the matter.
19 comments
September 10, 2008 at 5:20 AM
doug
I just want to run around and prophesy doom, even if I don’t know if it will really happen. I am just that way!
September 10, 2008 at 5:24 AM
Heather
Daughter has been having an awful time with this very subject. Granted she is only six. Brother will say she did something trivial, she’ll protest she didn’t and I usually know who did what, rarely did she really do it. But they like to see her upset. I wave it off with my magical wand and tell her I believe her and yet she still tries to prove her innocence.
Here is the philosophy I give her. You know the truth and that is all that matters here. So simple, but so difficult to grasp. No matter how old you are!
September 10, 2008 at 5:43 AM
BentonQuest
Again, I see the whole need to be validated by society instead of learning self-validation.
Is it worse now than in the past thanks to our ever-present advertising that thrives on the concept that “You are not ok”? Are we now looking for other-validation more than ever?
September 10, 2008 at 6:21 AM
James Figueiredo
Hi!
Long-time reader, first-time commenter here – I have a question: Do people suffering from Cassandra Complex are actually telling the truth or they just think that what they say is true but nobody believes them?
Best,
J.
September 10, 2008 at 6:49 AM
Shawn
Validation of beliefs must come from within. A secure validated self will win over many more believers than an insecure rant of the truth.
July 8, 2009 at 2:08 AM
sarah
Easy for you to say luvvy.
September 10, 2008 at 6:54 AM
tigeryogiji
Marion Zimmer Bradley wrote an excellent novelization of this myth. I’m not sure if it’s in print or not anymore though…
September 10, 2008 at 10:58 AM
Greg
Very interesting…the exact opposite of the boy who cried “Wolf”.
July 8, 2009 at 2:10 AM
sarah
Yes, funny how it’s the women who don’t get listened to and the men who tell porkers … or wolves in this case!
September 10, 2008 at 12:32 PM
javabear
I’ve been frustrated with this very thing a time or two. I don’t let it adversely affect my life. Anymore. Most of the time. 😀
September 10, 2008 at 1:43 PM
cedrorum
That is very interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with this complex.
September 10, 2008 at 8:27 PM
Doug
Kinda sounds like Ralph Nader and Ron Paul. They speak a lot of truth, but very few people listen or believe.
September 10, 2008 at 9:55 PM
the hobbit
I imagine it sometimes has to do with children being neglected (Girl children often are). And who knows if the person is being listened to in the present or not? Reality tends to get clouded by what we expect, I find.
September 11, 2008 at 3:52 AM
DougT
I think that I have the Cassandra complex, but nobody believes me.
September 11, 2008 at 9:52 AM
Mark
It’s amazing to me how often I will impart some wisdom or information and not be listened to. Even when, time after time, I turn out to have been correct. I don’t know that I have the Cassandra complex (though it does sound like how I often feel)…I think I just don’t inspire confidence when I speak, somehow.
September 11, 2008 at 3:48 PM
"Joe"
I’m going to start a drag act and I’ll be Cassandra van Truthiness.
September 11, 2008 at 4:56 PM
Steven
This sounds like the opposite of the “Cooper Complex.” 😉
September 12, 2008 at 11:37 AM
Pink
mmmm…maybe the psychiatrist can be the one who validates them
tricky thing about a lot of abuse is that it messes with the head so you don’t even trust yourself. saying things you know to be true can make you feel crazy and if it sounds unreal or so horrific it can’t be accepted…it tends to reinforce that feeling.
maybe the Casandra Complex is what made me stop sharing much of myself with others. I just can’t be bothered to explain myself anymore.
xx
pinks
September 13, 2008 at 7:16 PM
Merri
Yikes, I think so many women and men do have this (including myself).
I have never thought much about it and therefore appreciate you elucidating us..
I grew up in the era when women were not considered worth listening to, and I am sure that my parents made that lesson clear.
BUT now I know that it doesn’t really matter, in the grand scheme of things.
😉