99 questions to ask your grandparents #54

54. Which age (or life stage) was your favorite?

I am sixty-three years old. If I go by decades I have six to choose from. In order to figure out my favorite, I will eliminate them by starting with my least favorite and moving upwards.*

6] Decade #6: my 60s. I rank this one last only because it is too early to determine its rank.

5] Decade #3: my 30s. I graduated school (finally!); I turned thirty; I started my first proper job. Life had begun! – only to find out a month later I was HIV positive. Back then the diagnosis was the death knell. I spent the first half of my thirties trying to stay alive and the second half with an anxious hope to see forty. Good things happened in my 30s though, like buying my house in Chicago, which is still my favorite residence of all time. However, it always felt waiting for the end.

4] Decade #2: my teen years. I was a closet case, fearful of being found out. This combined with the pangs of adolescence: a growing disappointment and disenchantment of life and the angst of making it college. Most of my ‘oh the pain’ memories are from my adolescence; they still pop into my mind from time to time to remind me how awful I was.

3] Decade #5: my 50s. All in all not a bad decade really. Lots of good things happened in it. Someone and I settled into Arizona. Our health and our jobs were good. It was a relatively quiet decade. I have a hard time remembering what happened. It ranks third only because the remaining two decades rank higher.

2] Decade #1: my childhood years. Life was magical and full of wonder then. School and home and holidays were vibrant with joy. Food and trips were palpable with energy. I was quite fortunate to have such loving parents, family, and friends. I felt anything could happen.

This leads me to the best decade:

1] Decade #4: my 40s. Everything was good. Health was good; home life was good. Work went well. It seemed then we traveled more and had more free time and money too. We lived in Ann Arbor, which was an excellent town for theatre and food. Family and friends were nearby. I was involved in my parish. There were proper seasons to make time. I had gardens loaded with flowers and vegetables. The house had a working fireplace and Christmases were always white.

The best time of my life was between 1997 and 2005. It seemed I was not going to die and I had a lovely house in Chicago. I then met Someone on a vacation trip, and after Y2K I moved to Michigan where we had a nice Midwestern life. In 2025 we moved to Arizona and while this hasn’t been a bad chapter it is one long blur without noteworthy signposts to mark time passing other than graying hair and sorer backs and a sense of there is nothing to look forward to mark a new chapter.

Tell me which age or stage of life was your favorite.

*I sometimes see this in people’s opinion which Dr. Who. They start with the least favorite and work upwards. Interesting most people agree which doctors rank lowest but disagree which one ranks best. In their defense the same three or four seem to always be on top.