Urspo attends a football game

Last night was the annual Heorot Johnsons Yuletide party, a rumpus rawther infamous for ructions and guests xeroxing their body bits on the copier machine in the dungeon. One of the traditions is the Fussball game held in the back on Fiddle’s Green. It is The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections vs. Someone Else. The Someone Else team never repeats as by game’s end there aren’t enough living players to carry on for a repeat game or the survivors sensibly decline further invitations. Last night it was The Board vs. The Hecatoncheires, who usually win things but in Fussball one is not permitted to use your arms and hands, worse luck for them. Yes, it was  (another) victory for The Board; the score was 4-0, which is good for Urs Truly that a loss wasn’t taken out on their main minion. For thems interested, here was the winning team:

Sven – He’s the fastest player on the field. Alas, Babylon! He frequently forgets to take the ball with him. On the positive, his vigor and speed confuses the opposing team who find it difficult to believe that the ball isn’t actually with him and they are head in the wrong direction. 

Bjorn – Bjorn is our bad boy, the one who loses his temper the most that the others ask him to make less noise and that’s saying something.  He sees his role to menace the opposition means he doesn’t have to always play by the rules.  

Helga “Pippi” Long-stocking –  When not on the field bellowing orders to teammates she leaves free tickets to The Board’s periodic pantomime productions on the opposing team’s bench in order to demoralize the opposition. 

Snorri Sturlson the 23rd –  His ability to swing from the hall rafters makes him a born goalie. Sven and Bjorn watch on him that he remembers to keep on his trousers and for Odin’s sake wear protection. Last time he got it in the yarbles the yowls echoed throughout The Time of Legends down to Tartarus itself. Oh the pain. 

Slater-Wotan – An excellent striker, really, with a regrettable tendency to handle the ball when excited. Oh the embarrassment. 

Oscar ‘Bunny’Jarl – He sits on the stands and is not allowed on the team due to his inability to grasp this is not a baseball game. Also, he is heavily armed. 

Walter Cnut Fafner– Being a giant of a man, well over fourteen feet, he made all four goals, not so much due to his skill, but a fourteen foot berserker coming at you makes the goalie get out of way. 

Herbert – mostly he runs around looking like he is doing something but generally he gets in the way of the opponents and his teammates. At one point he was almost thrown out of the game but as it is his ball he only got a warning.