99 questions to ask your grandparents #58.

58. What do you wish people knew about life back when you were young?

I remember Grandmother telling me in the 1970s she had lived through the best of times and it was downhill now, indirectly conveying she pitied us growing up in these modern times. I smelled as rat as I had heard of The Great Depression, World War 2, The Cuban Missile Crisis, was well as smaller matters like racial discrimination and stores closed on Sundays. Now in my sixties, I have the terrible intuition I can say what she said as it feels true now, but then every generation thinks that. Older generations throughout time look down on the younger ones and shake their heads and says life was better back in my youth. We tend to remember the good parts and times of youth and forget it was often nasty and difficult. Mind! I grew up in the 60s-70s, which had a lot of awful things.

I would convey to today’s youngsters life back when I was young had the advantage of no cellphones and no internet. This state of being sounds abhorrent to small ears; how on earth did we entertain ourselves or be in touch with others? We did fine, thank you. Apart from the boob-tube we played games and made up stuff. It was called ‘let’s pretend’ and it gave us the gifts of imagination and negotiation. We were often obliged to do so as our parents shooed us out of the house and told us to stay out until sunset can you imagine? Being obliged to go over to others’ homes to talk to friends gave us face-to-face interactions, which we now learn is vital for developing social skills.

Instant access to others and entertainment online have their merits, but nobody I know my age feels deprived or mad-jealous of today’s youth who grow up with cellphones and iPads, sometimes getting theirs at ten years old. Indeed, I often hear the word ‘relieved’ they didn’t have these devices.

That’s the wish I would give to youth. You may not be able or want a life without iPhones, but there is a lot out there if you would turn it off from time to time. FOMO (fear of missing out) will become JOMO (joy of missing out) with practice. In lieu of Tik-tok you will have uncomfortable silence and boredom (oh the horror!) but you will have real connection to others and the world.