99 questions to ask your grandparents #61

61. Which home that you’ve lived in do you miss most? What felt most like home to you?

Both sets of my grandparents lived in their homes for decades if most of their lives. People didn’t move about so much back then, or so it seems. There were rumors of previous homes (once upon a time I saw my father’s grandparents house in Pontiac MI) but I don’t remember anyone waxing nostalgic on them.

My childhood home. I don’t recognize it without the mammoth elm trees.

I lived in three homes in my youth. Before elementary school there was the modest abode in St. Clair Shores and two in Grosse Pointe Woods for childhood and adolescence. After college and residency there were three for me as an adult: The first one was my own place on Hood St. in Chicago (1994 – 2000).

My place in Chicago. I see the nextdoor neighbor still paints his house yellow.

The second and third have been with Someone. First one was in Ann Arbor, MI (2000-2005) and the second is our present place, La Casa de Spo, in Phoenix, over twenty years and going.

Each of the six have happy memories for me; each has its own associations. They all felt like home for the time and context. My childhood home on Fair court in my memory is almost magical for all the wonderful times in house and neighborhood. My house in Chicago was my own. I filled it with gardens of vegetables, herbs, flowers, and roses. I felt alive even though at the time I was waiting to die.*

When I look at the six abodes online it shocks me a little to see how much their interiors and outsides have changed. We want places to stay just as we left them. It’s easy to forget most of our memories happen in places that are still around but the people you remember have moved on. You packed up your things and someone else moves in to make it their own. The house has no memory of you, as if you were never there. Maybe this is why we like to believe in ghosts. We desire our presence to be powerful enough to leave a mark on a place, something that can’t be wallpapered over. If these places are haunted it’s because we are haunting them ourselves. As if we never entirely move out.

Tell me about one of your homes that you remember the most fondly.

*It didn’t happen obviously. When I sold the house on Hood Street to move back to Michigan to live with Someone there was a sense of having been given a reprieve, another chapter, more Life.

Sunday Spo-bits

I apologize to the Spo-fans I haven’t been posting for a while. There are two explanations:

1. I’ve been up to my oxters with chores.
2. I have nothing to write upon; I lead a dull life.

I figured I would post when something interesting happens or The Muses (or someone like them) gives me something worthwhile to write upon, but The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections, noticing the lack of posts, sent word to put out something or suffer the consequences.* So here is an Contractual Obligation entry.

2026 started virtuously: the car is washed and the books are balanced; the 2025 journal was read.** Someone has worked the whole weekend, leaving me home alone and to myself. One of my new year resolutions to ‘practice silence’ so there are times I turn off the music and the podcasts and listen to house. I hear the furnace going on and off and the washing machine churning away. Does anyone else find the sound of the dryer spinning comforting? I could fall asleep to that.

I am starting to put together travel-notions for 2026. Oh, the places to go and the people to see! Some blogger buddies (the dears!) made offers to come visit them and I hope to do as many as possible. Someone, DougT, and TOM (The Other Michael), and Urs Truly solidified a week’s holiday to Puerto Rico at the end of February. I have two months become buff, make a few shirts, and learn enough Spanish to converse.***

This week at work someone needs to figure out what I do about Tuesday. Last week Tuesday at the MESA office the work computer refused to do anything. There was no one to turn to as I was the only one there. I telephoned The Boss who summoned someone from The Overlords so-called IT department, who, after playing twenty questions with me, determined the device I am using is a remnant of the previous owners and in a word not their problem. I had to drive to the PHX office that morning to work from there.

But that is Tuesday and today is Sunday, the day of rest. I have a quiet day of nothing to do, which suits me. It does evoke an awkward feeling of when you are not sure if you actually have free time or if you are just forgetting everything. 😘

*I was surprised they noticed. The last time I heard from them they were off visiting The Laestrygonians. I figured I would never hear from them again, but there it is. It’s amazing what TBDHSR gets away with; either they are very lucky or crafty or both. It helps to be archetypal and imaginary.

**I got out the extension ladder to take down the Christmas tree and I used the opportunity to replace the AC/furnace filters located for no good reason in the ceiling. Fresh white ones (30x20x1) were inserted. If my record-keeping is correct, they haven’t been replaced since summertime. Oh the horror.

***Fat chance of that. After years of Spanish lessons, I read well, listen fair, and speak poorly. The ‘buff’ goal has a fair chance of happening, depending how one defines it. As for shirts, I learned I only made one in 2025. Patience above! Time to get sewing. I cannot show wearing 2024 items!

Friday frets and features

The days of the week remain confusing given yesterday’s time off from work, which felt like a Saturday in the morning and like a Sunday by evening time – making today feel like a Monday. A podcast that I hear on Friday morning assured me it was indeed Friday. By next week Time and Dates should be back to normal.

Someone and I spent New Year’s Eve watching different things on their phone and ipad, pausing at 950PM local time to watch the ball drop in Times Square. I said ‘rabbit’ which my brothers and I have said as the first and last word of the year since we were children. We kissed each other happy new year rolled over and went to sleep. Dissolute living at its worst.

On 1 January I read my 2025 journal to remind me what happened. * I weigh 78.5 kilos which is about the same I have weighed since 2017. Yesterday I started taking down the Christmas things; the journal reminded me last year the tree didn’t come down until 11 January. Oh the embarrassment. I got out the new journal and gratitude book for 2026 and I went to the gym (which was surprisingly empty) and felt things were off to a good start. *

I called The Good Investment Broker this morning to disclose I somehow managed to lock myself out of the accounts – again. How this happens I am not certain but it happens on a regular basis, enough to feel like an old person inept at online matters who has to have his hand held. Sometimes I wonder if he puts up with my bungles in the same way the Drysdales had to tolerate the Clampetts: there were pain in the drains but as they have money they had to be worked with.

This July I have to renew my license, which happens every two years for no good reason other than the state of Arizona can get a thousand dollars out of me. They could ask if I have earned forty credits in the past two years. I did the math and I am woefully short. It’s a good thing I have a conference in Lost Vegas next month; that should tip me over the edge. I also should stop listening to so many podcasts as listen to lectures. After all I am paying for them. The trouble is podcasts are fun and hour-long lectures usually aren’t. Not to be worrying! By July I will have enough credits in case they ask me for more than my money. Stirges.

Someone is working late this evening so I will go to the gym and have a look-see how crowded it is with new year resolution types. Afterwards I may meet a chum for a drink, although come to think of it booze is provisionally off the menu this month. Chances are he won’t be able to make it so I can go home and do Spanish lessons and wake tomorrow morning to a proper Saturday. *

*Overall not much; I lead a dull life.

Spo-reflections on new year resolutions

I started writing about tips about new year resolutions but The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections found pedantic and dull so it was chopped. After all, there are plenty of pundits and know-it-alls online telling you how to do so. Rather than repeating what is already out there, I’d write something personal. Spo

Every year I make a handful of new year resolutions and in my defense they are mostly made. The trick is to slowly work towards a goal, making no absolutes, and to monitor progress on the concrete ones like ‘daily’ stretching’ or ‘exercise more days than not’. What also helps is imagining myself as the type of person I am aiming for. Last year I thought to see myself as a ‘healthy person’. So whenever an option or opportunity arose I would say to myself ‘what would a healthy person do?” I would opt to go to the gym or take that walk or choose the salad over the fries with that sandwich.

Having a theme for the year is useful. Mine shall be:

2026: the year to get things done.

There are many things to address and repair at home. I will make a list of what needs doing and post it on the fridge perhaps where I will see it to remind me to get things done. First on the list is the paint job for the house.

There are a few thing from 2024 and 2025 I will continue, such as ‘resist the urge to hurry’ and ‘do some exercise more days than not’.

The one I left intentionally blank I think I will continue that one as well.

2026 resolutions are going to be a different sort. Here they are. I write them for all to see as data shows when others know our goals we are more likely to do them knowing people will ask how it is doing and we don’t want to feel ashamed by the lack of progress.

Interactions with strangers. Interacting with others does both parties a lot of good. This can be as simple as saying hello or good morning to someone passing by or chit-chatting with someone in line with you. Comments like ‘nice jacket’ or ‘your T-shirt made me smile’ work as well. Everybody is fearful to do this sort of intercourse yet the majority of recipients tell they enjoyed it. Sometimes a phatic expression may lead to conversation with the person sitting near you at the coffeehouse. When you think about it all your friendships and relationships (other than family) started this way.

A monthly contribution. I will investigate where is the nearest food bank and pet shelter and women’s shelter and find out what they need and make a contribution once a month. This will work better if I have it on the calendar, such as every 15th or the last weekend of the month.

The more self-centered ones:

Try new recipes. On the shelf with all the cook books stand an accordion file crammed with recipe clippings. The cookbooks are bedecked with ‘make this someday’ post-its. Some of the cookbooks have never been used! Patience above! When will I get to these? Answer: never – unless I make the effort. Let me start with one/week on Sunday (when I have more time to do things).

Meditate – at least a little. A few years ago I had the new year resolution to meditate. I started with five minutes and worked up to 15 minutes per day. This was difficult to do; I had to force myself to stop everything to do so and my hummingbird-brain pounded to get back to flitting about. I didn’t keep this going in 2025 and I think I was worse off for it. It’s back on the list, along with daily stretching, core exercises, and reading something before bedtime.