Inquisitive Spo-fans inquire about who and what are The Board of Directors Here at Spo-Reflections. They are an elusive draconian group usually not willing to be ‘out in front’ as it were. Their ways may be byzantine, but they keep the trains running on time as it were. I recently approached them with the modest proposal I write an entry in which I introduce them to The Spo-fans and to my surprise they said yes – or ja – for they are a Nordic bunch. They can be quite nettlesome but they keep Urs Truly from wandering off, losing orbit, babbling without editing, or worse (in their opinion) dropping his drawers in public. Not all of them wanted publicity, so I present the more open members of The Board.
Sven – He is well over four feet. When he isn’t skimming blog entries for double negatives or filth, he is censoring Gauls and Picts. Out of all the board members he is the one most fond of danegeld. The ‘no credit card’ policy here at Spo-Reflections is his brainchild.
Bjorn – Before becoming the Chief Editor Here at Spo-Reflections he taught rhetoric and trivium at Ragnorak University, north of Uppsala. He is the most ‘laid back’ of the board members, which has more to do with the mead than his mettle. He is the only one who can placate Sven when the latter is implacable. Rumor has it Sven and Bjorn are sweethearts, but I have my doubts. Bjorn just got out of a rocky relationship with Beowulf and he swore a blood-oath “never again!”.
Helga “Pippi” Long-stocking – Yes, there is a woman on TBDHSR. She is related (on the mother’s side) to The Norns and The Walkyries, and she is a distant cousin to Carrie A. Nation. This virago of a woman is usually quiet but watch out when she lets out a schreenrauf. Patience above! She makes a hellava of a reindeer casserole for the annual Yule party.
Snorri Sturlson the 23rd – Where he lacks in nuance he makes up with boisterous bellows about deadlines and lack of ‘visits’, all which reverberate throughout the House of Spo. Even Thor (who rents the office next door) has asked him to make less noise.
Slater-Wotan – He is a graduate of Walsung State University. He is well over four feet. He is in charge of the photos which appear on the blog. Alas, the man hasn’t a ‘good eye’ for the job; he only gets things in focus ~ 50% of the time. Go figure.
Oscar ‘Bunny’ Jarl – He is oldest board member: no one quite knows his age. He is a dear. Please don’t feed him buns and things.
Walter Cnut Fafner– He is a giant of a man, well over fourteen feet. Helga thinks he has Frost-giant blood (a reference to his height and to his frigidity). He is in charge of screening out the spam comments. He also sings The Eddas.
Herbert – He’s the quiet one on the board which is saying something. Normally a meeting of the board has the cacophony heard going into one of histories more bloody battles. They are a boisterous bunch. But not Herbert. But still waters run deep. He’s up to no good, that’s for certain. These quiet sorts: Uriah Heeps all of them. If The Board votes to take me to the chopping block they get Herbert to write the email.
19 comments
July 8, 2014 at 1:44 AM
anne marie in philly
tell me, do you see this BoD after a few snorts of whiskey (no rubbish)?
July 8, 2014 at 6:25 AM
Urspo
No, but the snorts help.
July 8, 2014 at 1:55 AM
David Jeffreys
Where and how often does the BOD meet? Do you attend the meetings or just get the minutes in a plain unmarked envelope?
July 8, 2014 at 3:26 AM
David
So many personalities, it must make for an interesting board meeting.
July 8, 2014 at 6:13 AM
fearsomebeard
I still want to know what happens when they get to eat buns n things…..
July 8, 2014 at 6:14 AM
fearsomebeard
Or is it just Oscar “Bunny” Jarl that can’t have them….
July 8, 2014 at 6:25 AM
Urspo
Only “Bunny” avoids the buns and things. They make him constipated. And there is nothing so pugnacious at a constipated Board Member.
July 8, 2014 at 7:39 AM
wfregosi
Shame you don’t have Freia Goldapfel on the Board. She has fruit trees in her back yard and her Nordic Gold apples would guarantee that the blog always maintains a fresh, youthful quality. But she may well be too busy keeping track of her brother to be on the Board–he’s hyperactive, always running to and Froh.
July 8, 2014 at 7:49 AM
Urspo
hohoho
July 9, 2014 at 3:27 AM
wfregosi
More like Hai-jo-to-ho, no?
July 8, 2014 at 8:26 AM
larrymuffin
OMG I get it now Dr. Spo is in fact Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and who knows what else. RUN!!!!!!
July 8, 2014 at 8:32 AM
Urspo
It’s Dr. Hyde. Regardless of the metanoia state it’s still ‘doctor’. Like Dr. Who but with less riposte.
July 8, 2014 at 12:18 PM
larrymuffin
Luckily its not Norman Bates we hope. Would that be Master or Doctor Bates, LOL!!!
July 8, 2014 at 3:40 PM
jayinva
I must say, it’s bloody amazing that decisions ever get made without bloody reparte, but perhaps a snootful helps to calm the savage beast(s)!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA What the hell were you drinking when you wrote this? I want to buy some! (Or did you sneak up to Washington to sample their latest offerings of mood altering substances?)
Peace ❤
Jay
July 8, 2014 at 6:35 PM
Urspo
You saying someone spiked my mead? Scandalous!
July 9, 2014 at 9:28 AM
Old Lurker
Which of the Directors is obsessed with James Joyce?
July 9, 2014 at 11:46 AM
Allen
I think it’s wonderful that you have such a frank and knowledgeable relationship with your entire BoD! (Ahm: note that I did not say “Frank and Ernest; note also that I did not say “bod”, though that might be implicit.)
But your account motivates me to become even that much better acquainted with my own BoD. I know that they’re there: I have to do battle with them in order to become even marginally functional every morning, and while I’ve struggled for years to acquaint myself with them, it might be worthwhile to listen to them the more. Thanks!
July 14, 2014 at 12:44 PM
Ron
You neglected to mention what are the qualifications for membership on the Board of Directors at Spo-Reflections. Also is membership remunerative or a good old boy by appointment only? And lastly but most importantly is sexual experience necessary? Inquiring minds would like to know.
July 14, 2014 at 12:47 PM
Urspo
A fair question whence came the Board Members. I don’t know. They’ve been there since the Punic wars and seem as immovable as the rocks at Stonehenge. Once in awhile one tries to push another out or about, but they persevere. Sort of like Archetypes – you can’t get rid of them but you learn they are there and must be recognized.