HJ3 is officially open! The thralls have worked tirelessly day and night to unpack the pods and get everything in place. The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections moved in last weekend to great pomp and ceremony looking like the finale of “Das Rheingold” minus its charms. Helga “Pippi” Long stocking conducted the traditional blessing ceremony consisting of pouring newly-made mead from a silver horn onto the dining hall floor and lighting the hearth. Oops! They forgot unlike HJ2 which had a earthen floor HJ3 has real oaken floors and the newly installed fire alarm system (my suggestion) was set off showering board members and their guests in a heavy water spray resulting in pandemonium and the arrival of the Time of Legends volunteer fire brigade and also the Furies (they like fires). Overall not a good sign I suppose but mercifully there was no shooting.

The Time of Legends Home Owners Association so you can imagine.

There are many new amenities besides proper floors and indoor plumbing. Some time is needed to instruct them on how to work the thermostat and what goes in the recyclables basket and where to hang the miscreants. WIFI is available throughout the hall although the oubliettes have spotty coverage. The WIFI HJ3 site is named ‘Deathfromabove’ although no one has yet to figure out the password. * The large front doors and drawbridge have an intercom for someone to inquire “WHO RANG THAT BELL?” for gentlemen callers. My favorite addition: I have my own work office specifically placed upwind from the main offices.

In HJ2 there was a large ash tree with a sword stuck in it growing through the living room floor. In HJ3 there is track lighting rather.

The large oak Board of Directors table went missing in the moving process. This is amazing as the thing is gigantic (made by giants) and it took a small army to lift and place it into the truck so what the hell? Until a solution is made the dears have to sit in a circle with nothing between them which is ticklish as everyone and everything below the waist is visible and Vikings don’t wear no undergarments. Oh the embarrassment.

What did come out of the moving process was a large stone statue. It looks like a man whose had a very bad life or perhaps it is a depilated orc. It is well over four feet about seven actually. No one knows where it came from; it was probably buried in one of HJ2’s back rooms and had been forgotten until the move. It was placed in the foyer and is giving everyone the creeps. Some suggest if you write its name on its forehead in Magic Marker the thing might come to life and do things and others suggest not doing that for the same reason. I just hope if it comes to life it doesn’t show up at one of the banquets singing mend your ways in E-flat. I know how that goes: soon everyone is dragged down to hell in a fiery spectacle and the place burns down and HJ4 will have to be made. Let’s hope any come-to -life statues are thwarted by the mentioned fire system.

It’s never a dull moment when you work for archetypes.

*The office email is TBDHSR@timeoflegends.zzz but I wouldn’t bother they can’t be trusted to read such.