Somebody (not Someone) recently suggested I write my autobiography. I did not think this a good idea. I recall a rule only those who are household names ought to write autobiographies. The few hobbit-holes in which my name is spoken with any regularity live the folks wondering when their next ritalin or xanax prescription is due. Besides, isn’t my blog an ersatz autobiography?
After contemplation I see the sense of writing one’s own life if only for the simple reason it is likely to be more accurate. I dread some medical student or blogger-historian writing about me and getting it all wrong. On the few occasions I have been interviewed I later went over the text with a diving rod only to find almost nothing at all what I was.(1)
I suppose if I were to write such a ego-tome I would try to emulate the autobiography of C.G.Jung. This isn’t about style or in homage. The man rambles; he was absolutely incoherent (both in the original German and in the English translations). What I like about it is he wrote about the psychological milestones in his life rather than a concrete timeline starting with when I was born. Indeed, in one of the later chapters while describing a numinous dream that changed his theory he makes a desultory reference to a wife of several years and this is the first we have heard of him actually being married. I recall he mentions some but not all of his children and only a few times and only in passing. He tactfully doesn’t mention all his libertine ways with the women, including his long time live-in mistress.(2)
In preparation I should read some autobiographies to see how it is done. I admit after a day’s work of hearing about people’s lives the last thing I want to do is read self-disclosure and growth (3). I think I will wait a few decades before I make a go at it. I am suspect of autobiographies written by people under 70, unless they are dead.
Perhaps I can be lazy and just publish Spo-Reflections in book form. I am told no one buys ‘real books’ nowadays anymore but they are read them on Kindle devices. In that case they can just simply go to www.sporeflections.wordpress.com and read it. It just as incoherent as “Memories, Dreams, Reflections” and there are lovely photos of shirts.
(1) One blandishment was rather sweet but it was still not accurate.
(2) This is a mistake on his part, for it has been expanded on by others – frequently.
(3) Photos help.
26 comments
November 3, 2015 at 2:46 AM
Old Lurker
I note that you also do not mention your libertine ways with women, nor your live-in mistress.
November 3, 2015 at 4:27 AM
anne marie in philly
HA! 🙂
November 3, 2015 at 4:27 AM
David
Is what we write biography, fantasy or fiction? E-books are about 25% of the market, print is not dead, but seriously wounded.
November 3, 2015 at 10:09 AM
Urspo
mine has some embellishment and it bowdlerized a smidgen.
November 3, 2015 at 4:28 AM
itsmyhusbandandme
I can see it now – Chapter 3 My Unhealthy Interest In Hawaiian Shirts. I’d buy it.
JP
November 3, 2015 at 10:08 AM
Urspo
Fie! My interest is what keeps me healthy. that, and the whiskey.
November 3, 2015 at 4:28 AM
anne marie in philly
I buy printed books only. and I ain’t writing a bio cause my life ain’t interesting.
November 3, 2015 at 8:05 AM
Freckles
AM, your writing style can make paint drying on a wall sound interesting. It’s not really the details themselves, it’s how you present them.
November 3, 2015 at 10:08 AM
Urspo
Thank you very much.
November 3, 2015 at 6:09 PM
anne marie in philly
ah, freckles, if you could only see how unsexy and uninteresting my daily routine is…
November 3, 2015 at 5:59 AM
Steven
Well at least you can imagine an autobiography being written about you, my autobiography would be about as exciting as See Spot Run!
November 3, 2015 at 7:59 AM
Urspo
Mine will be titled “I lead a dull life”
November 3, 2015 at 3:33 PM
Kato
Michael. I reckon you would write a witty, insightful and thoughtful memoir. That people would enjoy reading it and feel inspired. I would want to read it.
Premature feedback… I reckon you should reconsider the title. If I randomly saw an autobiography of that title I would probably dismiss it thinking the author sounds a bit like a hobbit arrogantly proud of his uneventful but possibly elitist life. If I thought a bit more about the title I might think the author has a point to prove – that just because he’s different (e.g. gay) doesn’t mean his life is that different to the rest of us.
I hope you choose a title with a bit more of a positive feel to it. Or at least more intrigue.
Michael, if you were a face-to-face friend I might not have given you this feedback. I hope you take it in good faith. I hope you do write your story. I especially like the sound of it being a psychological journey.
November 4, 2015 at 6:08 AM
Steven
Or how about “Totally Spoked”? (as defined in the Urban Dictionary) 🙂
November 3, 2015 at 6:11 AM
Michael
Get a copy of Mark Twain’s autobiography (the recent edition) and check out what he said about how he was going to write it. I followed that example when doing my own memoirs. (Do memoirs, BTW, not autobiography. It allows you to be more relaxed.)
November 3, 2015 at 7:59 AM
Urspo
That massive tome has been on my to-read shelf for some time. I forget what is the difference between memoirs and autobiography – I should look it up.
November 3, 2015 at 6:22 AM
3rdnlong
You hit it right on target. But you could start off with a column in the local lifestyle magazine!
November 3, 2015 at 10:08 AM
Urspo
AZ mags only want stories about guns.
November 3, 2015 at 12:22 PM
Old Lurker
Thanks to your gym workouts I am sure you will have some fine guns to show off in your articles. Flex those arms!
November 3, 2015 at 7:16 AM
Blobby
When I think of autobiographies or memoirs, I think of a line Tracy Chapman wrote in her song, “Telling Stories”: ‘there is fiction in the space between, the lines on your page and your memory / write it down but it doesn’t mean, you’re not just telling stories…”
November 3, 2015 at 10:07 AM
Urspo
I like that.
November 3, 2015 at 8:41 AM
larrymuffin
You always say I lead a dull life, but in the world of marketing and PR this might turn out to be a catchy title and a runaway bestseller, not to mention a fictionalize movie where we discover some interesting twist and turns.
November 3, 2015 at 10:07 AM
Urspo
I would have to pay royalties to my uncle, whose slogan it was.
In the movie version I want Robert Downey Jr.
November 3, 2015 at 11:01 AM
larrymuffin
I thought Dustin Hoffman as Dr Spo or Robert Altman.
November 3, 2015 at 2:07 PM
Willym
“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”
November 6, 2015 at 9:45 PM
Robert
People, I count myself one of them, find your blog posts interesting. I have no doubt your ‘story’ would be fascinating to read.