I enjoy history not only for the stories but for its lessons. The main lesson of history is people are the same throughout time and keep doing the same things. One of our repeating follies is the tendency to react to new situations using old approaches only to have them fail spectacularly. In new and unfamiliar situations traditions trump ingenuity and plasticity. WWI went longer than anyone thought it would as the first battles were conducted on horseback with drawn swords against newly invented guns leading to an entrenched stalemate until generals connected the dots to change tactics. I was recently reminded of The Battle of Crecy in which the minority English defeated The French on their own kabd as the French noblemen wanted to fight only with the other nobles while the English employed ballades of arrows from trained minions the French nobility on horseback (easy targets) dismissed as below them to fight. The Spanish conquisitors (who were only a few against an entire population) defeated the Inca and Aztec rulers who couldn’t fathom anyone daring to touch their god-king monarch persons.*
These are battle examples of losses whose leaders wanted ‘to do it by tradition’ rather than change to what was needed. When I lived in Chicago I joined the local denomination of my hometown church. The church was in its last gasps of life. What few remained were elderly members who always sat in the back and didn’t want to change or do anything new or different in order to get new members. Some of this I was racism that they were white while the neighborhood folks were people of color. The main reason was the traditional music, service, and social events were all old folk oriented. “You know they would rather see the place close than change to save it” the pastor once confided in me. And he was right. I didn’t stay and the paces folded. My mother’s long time neighborhood club went the same way as the elders objected to young ones coming in as they wouldn’t know how to play or might bring in their ways.
Medicine is unfortunately no different. Doctors still have to be dragged kicking and screaming to give up ‘time honored treatments” even when all evidence is against them.** Last year I attended a lecture on ‘the exciting brave new world things a-coming’ in psychiatry; you could feel the stiffening of the crowd as they reacted negatively to the concept of brain scans and IV-based treatments, along with the sensation most in audience were thinking they retire before doing having to change or learn these new-fangled things.
There is a sense today’s oldsters are not elders viz. sages to whom the younger ones should to turn to for guidance. Boomers seem self-absorbed and uninterested in helping the younger generations. However I must not be too harsh on today’s oldsters as refusing to change is seen throughout history as stated.
“It is custom” is something Someone and I say to each other whenever we don’t want to do something differently or when running up against a wall in getting someone to approach a problem from a different angle. “It is custom’ is a phrase I got from a book about a young traveler to an island in the South Pacific that whenever he wanted something done different (even a little thing like please don’t salt in my food) he was told ‘it was custom’. No one budged or thought ‘hey let’s give this a try”.
I hope I remain plastic as I age to go with the flow and change ways and beliefs when necessary. Tradition they say is peer pressure from the dead and I get tired of the dead telling the live ones how things ought to be done. Then again this is probably what all young people vow: they won’t become their parents and then they do. It would be nice to discard dead old ideas in us to go towards a future free of custom and traditions that serve no more.
Can you share a belief or custom you have been able to give up or one you struggle to give up?
*In both cases The Spaniards did so and it ended badly for the so-call god-kings.
**Usually they do so passively viz. insurance companies and/or laws are passed forcing them to change thing they wouldn’t do on their own.
22 comments
April 29, 2024 at 4:29 AM
Anonymous
Are you excluding yourself from bring a boomer, I realize I was almost the last of them but you’re not far off. Boomers extend to those born late forties till 1960 to 1964 . Sharing of knowledge used to be a real thing. Also there is no longer a shortage of Doctors and Dentists just a Maldistribution with all of them gravitating to Metropolitan areas . DwightW.
April 29, 2024 at 7:30 AM
Urspo
I can never determine whether or not I am a Boomer. I was born in 1962 (although I tend to not count as part of my life the year of my internship). By strict definition I am a Boomer – one of the youngest ones. I don’t think I share most of the stereotypical aspects of Boomers but I do go to bed early and no longer want to keep on top of pop culture.
The regulation of the number of doctors is a complicated one but one element is doctors not wanting too many lest their demand/income drops. This void has resulted in RNs taking over to the upset of the MDs.
April 29, 2024 at 6:22 AM
Old Lurker
I am fixed in my ways and it is too late for me to change. I deeply resent cellphones and self-checkouts and horseless carriages and color television. I am the living embodiment of that Douglas Adams quotation.
April 29, 2024 at 7:31 AM
Urspo
I don’t care much for any of these things either and good for us!
April 29, 2024 at 6:33 AM
Debra She Who Seeks
I struggle with new technology and new expectations like using self-checkouts. I refuse to use them. I know it’s a losing battle but it’s the principle of the thing, dammit!
April 29, 2024 at 7:33 AM
Urspo
Being flexible is one thing but being coerced by businesses into what THEY want (not what the customers want) is another thing. I stand in line at the person-check out even when I have only a few items and could save time to use the self check out. Maybe if I do the powers that be will take note. I doubt it, as the youngsters don’t stand in line.
April 29, 2024 at 7:05 AM
Steven
I can’t really think of customs that I can’t rid myself of. Your mention of church reminded me of a tradition I started where during the Summer months (Mem. Day to Labor Day), service was moved to 9:00 AM instead of 10:00 AM. Many were against it at first (the older ones), but it lasted for many years. I left the church after moving. I wonder if they continue it. To me, 10:00 AM is the middle of the day. So the earlier, the better. In comparison to what previous commenters stated, I love self-checkout. I can sort the groceries and other items the way they should be rather than the way the cashier does it with no attention to the eggs placed at the bottom and heavy items on top. Oh, the horror! They just try to get the customer through the line ASAP. And now that Target is limiting self-checkout to 10 items, I am going to go to Aldi for all groceries. Target’s loss.
April 29, 2024 at 7:37 AM
Urspo
I don’t envy churches – or symphonies or theatre companies – who greatly depend on 65+ clientele as they are the majority of the ticket takers. Yet the ‘old ways’ aren’t attractive to the youngsters. Someone, who works in theatre, often tells me if the local opera or theatre company puts on something ‘modern’ or new or even controversial the blue hair howl like an orchestra of scorched cats and won’t go/contribute. I agree with Someone: going to shows should have an element of ‘didn’t like this one’ rather than limiting yourself to only the ‘safe ones I know”.
April 29, 2024 at 9:12 AM
Anonymous
I think I’m going to have to throw a little sand on this one. Why should I have to go to a production that I probably won’t care for just to please the selection committee. Produce whatever you choose and I will attend whatever I chose. I also eat many of the same things at my favorite restaurants. I’m not obliged to any one to try new things just for newness sake.
April 29, 2024 at 9:54 AM
Urspo
Indeed so. Why pay for something you don’t want to see or like. I mind my emotions of ‘not going’ if I don’t recognize a play or show I haven’t seen already or know about. Sometimes these “don’t know what this is about” turn out to be winners -and sometimes duds.
April 29, 2024 at 9:32 AM
Anonymous
The church start times in my rural area in my youth were tied to pasture season. Livestock in pastures require a lot less hands on care. Thus an earlier start time. I’m not involved with any local churches anymore, so I don’t know if that’s still the case.
timberdawn
April 29, 2024 at 8:36 AM
Robzilla
I struggle to give up the idea that the younguns will do anything on TikTok or YouTube so they can avoid taking a regular job. Then again, the current system requires them to have two regular jobs to afford a 100 sq ft bedroom in a five bedroom house that has something called “kitchen privileges”.
April 29, 2024 at 9:58 AM
Urspo
“kitchen privileges’? that sounds ugly.
I keep in mind every generation considers the younger one as not willing to work while the younger one sees the older one as ‘not getting it’ their needs and challenges.
April 29, 2024 at 11:33 AM
larrymuffin
You mean like giving up on the notion of God’s Chosen People to avoid genocide of those unlike them. Change does come but at a price and no one likes to give up on the past because that is all they know. Life will catch the young ones like it caught us.
April 29, 2024 at 12:00 PM
Urspo
Most likely. Alas
April 29, 2024 at 12:31 PM
BadNoteB
I will still waste 1/2 gallon of gas ($2.20) driving to a distant gas station selling at a nickel less per gallon ($1.10 per tank). Makes no economic sense but it’s something I’ve done since gas was 33.9¢ per gallon…
There’s no patience to wait for a clerk to open a locked case of anything priced under $20 (+/-), which is increasingly common for cosmetic/grooming/OTC drug items. Life is too short and Mr. Bezos delivers to my front porch in 24 hours – usually at a cheaper price.
I lament the demise of 8:15 pm curtain times for theatre and stage events. We stopped attending midweek performances when they all moved to 7:00 while that same time feels like a matinee on weekends. 5:00 pm is too early for a leisurely dinner before and most restaurants are dead and closing after.
It will be a cold day in hell before I order a meal in a sit-down restaurant from a menu on my cell phone accessed via Quick Response (QR) code. Also, I gave up straws with my sippy-cup and continue to expect a teaspoon as part of a proper table setting.
Other than these minor quirks, I’m delightfully flexible and not at all curmudgeonly.
April 29, 2024 at 7:21 PM
Urspo
all the same it gave me a smile to read this.
Midnight mass at my parish has fizzled as few want or can stay up that late anymore.
If the evening show isn’t too long Someone and I eat afterwards.
April 29, 2024 at 12:50 PM
Anonymous
I am running the laundry through an extra rinse cycle because that was the way I was taught “It is the custom.”
Curiously, while staying with my Someone during early COVID, I noticed that he did the same. Neither one of us could come up with a reason (inefficiency of post war washing machines, hard water, etc). Needless to say, it was a custom that only applied when one had one’s own washer and dryer and was not using the laundromat. The world did not end if the laundry did not get a second rinse.
Will Jay
April 29, 2024 at 7:23 PM
Urspo
My aunts and uncles were quite ‘it is custom’ when it came to cooking or cars. My ‘suggestions’ or attempts to alter things we sometimes seen no less than heresy.
April 30, 2024 at 9:01 AM
Anonymous
I am late to this party. I was an early adopter of the self-checkout at Kroger. It rarely worked the way it was supposed to, so I hated it. Now, I cannot reach anything in order to use it. I have torn rotator cuffs, so cannot stretch that far. However, Tommy loves it. He is so fast, can figure out price of produce, everything. I stood behind a couple who bought $400 worth of groceries. If Tommy is with me, I gladly let him check out for me.
I refuse to order a new prescription with a robot helping me over the phone.
Practical Parsimony
May 1, 2024 at 6:57 AM
Urspo
You and I like human interactions. It is both assuring something is done right and the social intercourse is good for our souls.
May 2, 2024 at 7:12 AM
Anonymous
Not exactly an answer to what traditions I struggle to give up, but for the past few years — partly a result of passing my 70th birthday and partly the Pandemic –I have been actively seeking to let go of many people/places/things/expectations. A wise old nun once told me that the longer she was a nun, the more she realized that life was all about letting go. I found some helpful guided meditations on YouTube. There is an old Jesuit (I think) prayer, something along the lines of, “Let me care, but not care.” Anyway, a daily dose of letting-go meditation is helping make me remain caring, but no longer thinking it is up to me to take care of it all.
Just thought of you today and wanted to drop by! Glad to see you are still here.
Michael Dodd (The old In Dodd We Trust blogger)