Recently a patient announced there was no point in making her customary three month follow-up appointment as she would not be here much longer. This sort of talk makes me sit straight up – was she talking suicide? No, she was talking about The Rapture. On 21 May (time yet to be determined)* she is flying upwards like Mary Poppins, leaving this earth (and an outstanding medical bill) and in need of no further psychiatric care. This didn’t stop her from asking for her usual prescription – a 3 month supply. I questioned the need for 90 tablets; might she do good enough with a 2 week’s supply? Response: “It is cheaper” (for a 3 month supply). I didn’t ask why she is bothering saving money. I may be as simple as people would rather die than pay a higher co-pay.
Throughout the ages people have been predicting the end of the world. Countless end of the world dates have come and gone. I remember some pastor in the 1800s predicting the end of the world 3x each time saying there was a miscalculation. I’ve lived through a few alleged armageddons – 1987, 1992, 2000, and 2001. I feel sorry for the Mayans; they must be sore with their PR firm for the 5/21/2011 has taken all the wind out of 12/20/2012.
Apart from all fuss the Fundies create, what irritates me is their smugness. There is a sense of ‘being in the know’ and feeling counted among an elite. “I am being saved and you are not, for I am better than you, so so long sucker!” This is annoying to us on the alleged B-list.
While ignorance drives me bats, it is human nature that really worries me. I think these people prefer to create an end of the world rather than admit they were wrong.
My patient may not come back, not from apotheosis but from embarrassment. If she does, I won’t rub it in. However, if she has a new date for the “corrected” Rapture I may make exception.
* Someone informs me it starts spot-on 5/21 starting on the Pacific Rim, with devastation and earthquakes and the Raptured ones will leave behind their shoes.
39 comments
May 8, 2011 at 1:19 AM
James
I’m sorry but you should TOTALLY rub it in on the fundie bitch.
May 8, 2011 at 2:12 AM
Will
I try to be tolerant, understanding and accepting of all shades of human belief and personal faith no matter how whacked out, but I think I’m with James on this one. When she comes crawling back on the 22nd, her rapture ruptured and her salvation unresolved, I think I might have a hard time not taking at least one really sharp dig at her dogma.
May 8, 2011 at 6:00 AM
Urspo
Seriously, after reviewing the business, I may reflect back what she said, and what feelings does she have on the matter, all said in my neutral I am interested in your thoughts tone. I will be curious to know if she feels let down, angered, stupid, betrayed etc.
May 8, 2011 at 2:42 AM
the cajun
Wave your little hand and whisper, so long dearie!
May 8, 2011 at 5:57 AM
Urspo
And on those cold winter nights you can snuggle up to your cash register.
May 8, 2011 at 3:25 AM
Paul Brownsey
“I’m afraid Rapture isn’t covered by your health insurance.”
May 8, 2011 at 5:57 AM
Urspo
In Arizona, hardly anything is covered.
May 8, 2011 at 3:40 AM
Blobby
I’m not leaving behind my shoes!!!
Man, how could you not rub it in when (not if) it doesn’t happen? I’m sure there will be a werido miscalculation in date excuse, but still…….I’d be mocking up a storm.
It’s probably one of the reasons I’m not in your profession. 🙂
May 8, 2011 at 4:45 AM
Doug
Oh, I’m so glad to be on the “B-list.” First, if you’re on it, that’s where I want to be. And second, I never want to be associated with the condescending elite. The compassionate commoners suit my style and taste so much better.
May 8, 2011 at 5:56 AM
Urspo
When I was born some wicked fairy showed up and bopped me on the head and announced I would be forever on the B-list, no matter what I did. Ah well. At least it saves on spending on shoes.
May 8, 2011 at 4:59 AM
Jay
“When the Rapture comes, this car will be driverless.” is a bumper sticker I have seen – The arrogance always irritates me as much as those obituaries that state that “so and so has earned their wings.” When they come back as a potato grub they will be surprised.
May 8, 2011 at 5:38 AM
tom
We’re having an End of the World BBQ and potluck. If it’s going to go down, we want to be with all our friends. Since you won’t be going back to work on Monday, perhaps you and Someone could join us? It’s been awhile since you have been to one of our events.
T
May 8, 2011 at 5:54 AM
Urspo
That would be lovely! I miss you two and I have fond memories of your parties.
We discussed last night hosting our own Rapture Party. Perhaps our simultaneous soirees will better the cosmos and keep everyone in their shoes (last year’s Pradas, excepted).
May 8, 2011 at 7:48 AM
Birdie
Your party for the End of the World should be in the fall — on my birthday! The Rapture only takes the Chosen on May 21. I think a BBQ is the perfect theme.
May 8, 2011 at 6:26 AM
Shawn
So can those of us on the B list get our pick of the shoes afterward?
May 8, 2011 at 6:45 AM
Raybob
I get the good cars!
May 8, 2011 at 7:08 AM
Aunt Barb
I too would want the lowest cost! Egads
The Fundies hang on the absolutes of in errata because it’s too scary to think, ponder and question the unproveable. Yet they claim FAITH, crazy in more ways than one. Yes their smugness is awful. And stupid
I loved our get together as a family on 1/1/2000. And would welcome using any Rapture date as a time to hang together, end times or not.
May 8, 2011 at 10:19 AM
Robert
Actually, Spo, the rapture is *supposed* to occur on 5/21/2012, not this year. I’m not holding my breath. When my mom was growing up, she had heard that the end of the world was coming in 1960. Obviously that didn’t happen. 🙂
Just some religious fanatics. Just politely nod your head when you hear all of this and slowly back away. 🙂
May 9, 2011 at 7:45 AM
Shawn
Not according to the bilboards on every freeway here in San Diego…..they say 5/21/11.
Although I have absolutely no belief in it, picking through the shoes afterward may be fun, especially when you find a pair of THIS years Pradas!
May 9, 2011 at 5:12 PM
Old Lurker
I doubt that shoe-looting will be worth it. There won’t be any cha-cha heels.
May 8, 2011 at 1:04 PM
BearToast Joe
Ah shucks. I was just getting the hang of things.
Do I still have to work that day?
Actually, it may free up the economy in all sorts of ways.
May 8, 2011 at 1:09 PM
Laurent
Well a major earthquake is predicted for Rome on 11 May, but I won’t be there and this rapture thing again I will be away in Sicily. I hate to miss big events like that.
May 8, 2011 at 3:16 PM
truthspew
The guy who predicted this is a radio show host. He’s predicted it happening before in 1994.
He predicts it’ll start at 6PM. I’ll be on the road on my way back to Rhode Island then.
Here’s my prediction, nothing is going to happen. And there will be a lot of people with egg on their faces come the 22nd.
May 8, 2011 at 3:27 PM
Bill J
Whatever happens, one way or another, just make sure that you wear comfortable shoes.
May 8, 2011 at 4:06 PM
the cajun
“It’s a little lumpy, but it rings!”
May 8, 2011 at 10:01 PM
wcs
Her grab for the pills is the giveaway. Even she doesn’t believe. Maybe she hopes, but she doesn’t believe. Sick puppy. But you knew that. 😉
May 9, 2011 at 1:27 AM
rg
Point and laugh. Point and laugh and then write them their script. LOL
May 9, 2011 at 4:33 AM
Tiger Chanter
They talked about this on NPR this past Saturday morning, and even interviewed some people who were planning for it.
What saddened me the most was this young couple who have a 2 year old and are expecting another child in June. They both quit their jobs and all they plan to do for the next two weeks is to “spread the good word”. They have budgeted what little money they have left so that it lasts them just till May 21st.
What a nightmare awaits them on May 22nd…
May 9, 2011 at 7:04 AM
gtrleyshon
My daughter came home from school the other day and expressed her disgust on hearing about this alleged rapture. It’s the day before her birthday!
May 9, 2011 at 8:30 AM
domanidave
Last year, I saw a van festooned with many bumper stickers, generally a sign of indiscriminate, low-grade fare. In this case, not so, and among them were: “Comes the Rapture, can I have your car?” and — really the best of the lot — “I finally found Jesus, he was behind the couch the whole time.” I may be late to the party on that one, but I love it almost as much as the classic, indeed the quintessential statement & response graffiti: “My mother made me a homosexual / If I buy her the fabric [or yarn] can she make me one, too?”
May 9, 2011 at 1:22 PM
Laurie
Your post and the responses to it are priceless. The funny thing about the people who believe this crap is that after this one doesn’t happen, they will jump right on the next rapture bandwagon.
May 9, 2011 at 9:08 PM
spamwise
Personally, I don’t care about the fundies as long as they leave me alone. Don’t fuck with me and we won’t have a problem.
Take it from someone who has evangelical Catholic assholes in his family. I have the worst of both worlds — Catholic guilt and evangelical bullshit.
I’m not sure what could top that, and I really don’t want to know.
May 11, 2011 at 4:16 PM
Mark
I have an audition on May 21st, so I will have to opt out of The Rapture. Maybe I’ll have a better chance of getting the role I want, though, if there are less competitors.
May 13, 2011 at 8:44 AM
Lensman
It seems that there is another group on the scene with a new perspective in disputing Camping’s prophesies. They make a compelling statement that “Jesus is here now.” Check out their billboard which I think will stir the pot a bit.
May 13, 2011 at 3:42 PM
Urspo
I would like to ‘friend’ him on Facebook.
May 14, 2011 at 4:27 AM
Frank D
Oh my, So much to do and so little time.
It would be great if all these crazies really were swept away at once – along with the Teabaggers and a few other select holier-than-thou types.
May 14, 2011 at 8:49 AM
Urspo
Like in “The Mikado” I too have a little list of people to sweep up next weekend –
Cellphone drivers and Smokers who throw their butts out the car window
May 17, 2011 at 3:46 PM
Kyle
His billboards started showing up here a few months ago. There is one on either side of our town now.
Like Will, I try to be tolerant and understanding of others modes of spirituality. Mine is stitched together loosely enough to pick and choose the things that make sense from the world’s belief systems. Not believing in a deity or deities is isolating for me, so I know better than to marginalize someone.
I don’t like human beings being deceived or enslaved by social predators who prey on the fear in all of us. That is the problem I have with this cult. I have the same problem with the world’s largest religions. It is why they all fear reason and science so much. They both lift the veil.
I feel bad for your patient Urspo, because on the 21st who knows what she will have given up just to prepare for her ascension. She won’t be in heaven and more than likely she will feel even more alone and vulnerable. The cult will be right there waiting the pull her back in.
It’s an awful thing to have to watch.
October 23, 2016 at 5:31 AM
mitchellismoving
That is so cool that they’ll leave behind their shoes. How do I find out in advance who has my size and style sense? As for me, I always used to get the terms rapture and rupture confused.