A few Spo-fans have asked for stories and details about the wedding. There were the usual things: we held hands and made promises. Pictures were taken. Afterwards well-wishers came up with outstretched hands and congratulations were given.
What I thought I would write about was something that happened that was unexpected and wonderful.
We got married by a California County justice of the peace. This required having an appointment and ‘standing in line’ as it were. Before our appointment was a young couple, eloquently dressed in nice white and black satin suits. They had a wedding party of four or five people, probably friends and family. Our coterie consisted of Someone and Urs Truly – dressed in smart jackets with flower corsages – and our acolytes who were mostly in Spo-shirts.
Just before our turn to say I do, while I was at the glass window registering my information, I felt a finger tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a young man of about twenty. He introduced himself as Oscar; his bride was Adrianna. Oscar was dressed in a red T-shirt and khaki pants. In broken English he asked would I witness his wedding registration. They could not get married without a witness; they had no one to do so. A lot rushed through my mind in the five second pause before I said yes. Where were their friends and family? Why were they alone? What was their story? Adrianna explained they had a 3yo was ‘she was at home’. Apparently they were on break from their restaurant jobs to come to city hall to get hitched. Oscar tried to give me twenty dollars but Adrianna told him that would be insulting to me. What I didn’t say at the time was they had just made my wedding day into something marvelous beyond measure.
After Someone and I got hitched it was their turn. There they stood, alone, facing each other, both wearing nice but inexpensive clothing so unlike the first couple mentioned. I was glad our wedding separated the two couples, lest O and A felt bad by the finery of the first couple (or worse, made fun of). In the brief ceremony, Mr. Oscar struggled a bit with the English; Ms. Adriana struggled a bit to hold back tears. Where was Urs Truly? He was running around with her camera, taking as many photos as he could muster. I wondered: if I hadn’t said yes, would they had been with no one to take any photos?
Someone et. al. waited for me out in the hall. Afterwards, we came out and the two wedding parties combined for a permutation of photos and all shook hands and kissed the bride (although some of us I suspect wanted to kiss the groom rather). They assured me I would be always welcome at the restaurant where they worked; they would make sure I was treated well.
I never got their names. I probably won’t ever see them again.
That night Someone and I took our friends to eat at a very fancy Palm Springs restaurant. The wine flowed as they say. While we dined I saw young Hispanic types running around busing tables and pouring water and waiting on rich white folks. Throughout dinner I thought of Oscar and Adrianna, also now married and probably eating on break at the restaurant. I compared the couples in my mind. Someone and I are well off and we solidified twenty years together – about the same time as the ages of Adrianna and Oscar. They were just starting off; they have their lives ahead of them. I sense they will struggle with funds, free time, and a raising a child (born out of wedlock). I also thought of that awful man in the White House, who wants to vilify people like this hardworking couple.
I thank The Fates for arranging these crossed threads for the lessons they provided me.
40 comments
March 4, 2017 at 2:27 PM
Colonel Panic
That was beautiful. Thank you.
March 4, 2017 at 5:44 PM
Urspo
you are welcome. I hoped the essay would convey the emotions I felt.
March 4, 2017 at 3:04 PM
David
Wishing O &A, decades of happiness.
March 4, 2017 at 3:11 PM
Walter
Consider this my *favorite* Spo-Reflection.
March 4, 2017 at 5:44 PM
Urspo
I did put it into the category “Best of Spo-reflections” if only for the poignancy of such.
March 4, 2017 at 3:34 PM
anne marie in philly
“I also thought of that awful man in the White House who wants to vilify people like this hardworking couple.” – the dump considers people like these “bad hombres, rapists, drug dealers.” nothing could be further from the truth. DUMP THE DUMP!
and the kindness you showed these young people will not be forgotten.
March 4, 2017 at 3:36 PM
becomingmenaturally
Your kindness always shows through. Your kind and generous act will be forever remembered by them, but what the dont realize is they made your very special and very long in the waiting wedding day even more special. You are as my grandfather would have said good people…very good
Judy
March 4, 2017 at 4:02 PM
Raven~
cry for happy
March 4, 2017 at 4:05 PM
lavadamalone
❤
March 4, 2017 at 4:12 PM
Old Lurker
Is it telling that they asked a gay man to be their witness?
One tactic the vilifiers (more often the libertarian vilifiers than the religious ones) use is to argue that “foreigners” are intolerant of women and LGBTQ people, and will roll back whatever gains have been made (putting aside for a minute on which side of the argument the vilifiers were on when others were campaigning for sufferage and LGBTQ rights). I realize you were in Palm Springs but I still think it matters.
March 4, 2017 at 5:46 PM
Urspo
The best way to break down xenophobia is to get to know people on an individual personal level. If I lived there, I would try to keep in touch as fateful friends. They seemed quite at ease with our little troop; we felt likewise.
March 4, 2017 at 4:15 PM
Stephen
How wonderful, a moment shared with strangers made special by the caring loving man you are. It is a story you will always remember and one you should always share. Hopefully their union will be a blessed one as yours has been.
March 4, 2017 at 5:47 PM
Urspo
Let us hope so.
March 4, 2017 at 4:25 PM
Todd Gunther
A wonderful reflection, Spo! i wish the haters on the social media (Facebook) could read this!
March 4, 2017 at 5:47 PM
Urspo
It would change no one, alas, who is hardened against such.
March 4, 2017 at 5:56 PM
Charlie
congrats on your wedding. Keep posting like this and you curmudgeon street cred will vanish
March 4, 2017 at 6:00 PM
Urspo
Lol. I guess I need more happenings in which Grace is present.
March 4, 2017 at 6:56 PM
rjjs8878
This post brought tears to my eyes.
That awful main in the White House has been married three times.. Two of his wives were immigrants. I guess you’re a better class of immigrant if you come from Europe.
March 4, 2017 at 7:53 PM
Steven
Real life is beautiful.
I saw a group of haters screaming at the cameras that Forest Trump is going to restore traditional marriage, I was wondering if it’s because he’s had so many of them himself that he’s become an expert on traditional marriages?
March 4, 2017 at 10:12 PM
Kato
Wow Michael. What a beautiful and special experience. A priceless gift. xo
March 4, 2017 at 11:42 PM
Raybeard
A profoundly touching little anecdote.
March 4, 2017 at 11:57 PM
Tim
Wow was that beautiful.
Sounds like there was a lucky bride and 3 lucky grooms there that day.
This is not about compliments and thanks.. it is what marriage is and always will be and has given me hope that yours (and mine) will NOT be revoked .
.
And yours may be the finest I have been to …and darn, I still cry at weddings.
Thank you so much for sharing this with your readers.
Tim in Paris
March 5, 2017 at 6:50 AM
Urspo
Thank you Tim.
March 5, 2017 at 5:41 AM
Sam
Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing.
March 5, 2017 at 6:49 AM
Urspo
thank you Sam for stopping by and posting a comment; I appreciate it so.
March 5, 2017 at 5:44 AM
Ron
A truly wonderful”wedding gift” that you will always remember with warm heart. I am so thankful I was there to witness this wonderful serendipitous magical moment in both your life and Oscar and Adrianna’s life. I wonder if they realize how fortunate they were to have you witness their wedding vows. Then again, I wonder why they choose you when they could have chosen anyone of your Spo shirt wearing coterie. Obviously they recognize quality when they see it. No rubbish for them as a witness to their wedding.
March 5, 2017 at 6:47 AM
Urspo
I was pleased as punch you two were there to be part of it al.
March 5, 2017 at 7:35 AM
RuralBeard
That was truly an inspired meeting. I don’t hold truck with supernatural occurrences or beliefs but in times of synchronicity, it does make one’s heart soar. Thank you for being you.
March 5, 2017 at 8:23 AM
Willym
Reblogged this on Willy Or Won't He and commented:
Last week I mentioned that two dear friends were married the previous weekend and gently ribbed them on their new legal state. Our beloved Dr Spo wrote about the ceremony on this blog this week and I will be honest that I had got a bit emotional when I read it. Something very special happened unexpectedly that, to my mind, sends a ray of sunshine into what has been a rather gloomy few months. I asked his permission and he was more than happy to allow me to share it. To my wishes for Spo and Someone I add my hope and wishes for Adrianna and Oscar.
March 5, 2017 at 11:13 AM
Urspo
That was lovely, thank you; and thank you for posting it.
March 5, 2017 at 10:22 AM
Wes
A lovely story, these things happen to enrich our lives and to remind us to truly appreciate everything we have or everyone have been given in life.
March 5, 2017 at 10:58 AM
larrymuffin
This is such a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing this great story of your and their special day. This is just marvellous what a very nice gesture. The best to you all.
March 5, 2017 at 1:43 PM
Steven
Your “acolytes” reference made me chuckle out loud!! But then the rest of the story touched my heart. Thank you for sharing! 🙂
March 5, 2017 at 1:49 PM
travellers
💕 💕 💕
March 5, 2017 at 2:14 PM
Jane Karwat
Just thank you for the telling of this story. It was just so touching.
March 6, 2017 at 7:37 AM
Urspo
Thank you for stopping by and posting a comment. I am glad you liked this.
March 5, 2017 at 6:20 PM
mcpersonalspace54
Thanks for your post. It reminds me how in some way we are all connected in some gigantic web. The important thing is that we realize that. Trump hasn’t.
March 6, 2017 at 7:37 AM
Urspo
Perhaps in time he will learn. I doubt it, but I hope so
March 7, 2017 at 5:13 PM
Blobby
what a marvelous story. This is what wedding memories really are – not the cake (though, i mean, i REALLY like cake), the weather, or what you wore.
March 7, 2017 at 8:44 PM
Urspo
It will probably be remembered long after I forget what I had for supper that night. In fact I already have forgotten.