More Spo-confessions of non-living

Here at WordPress I have a handful of half-baked ideas unfinished. When The Muses (or someone like them) fail to send email with inspirational topics, I pull one out one of these and work on it. Alas, Babylon! What’s there now have lofty and erudite titles like “Time”, “Fate”, and “Why I hate strip malls”. No fun, these. Last week I did an entry in which I confessed things I have never done. It was quite popular and I enjoyed the comments/interactions. The Board of Directors Here at Spo-reflections was pleased as Punch; they thought I should give it another try.*

Death on his mortiscycle

Rode a motorcycle. Many on my mother’s side sold insurance for a living. They all had horror stories about motorcycle accidents. This negative biased view was enhanced in medical school attending young men brain dead from motorcycle accidents. Now that I am nearly sixty, I am even more dubious to mount one. I remember being on a scooter, once, in Bermuda. I did not enjoy it and I probably made myself more prone to accidents by driving at an alarmingly slow velocity. Do you own a motorcycle? If I promise not to scream, would you take me for a ride?

Been to a professional football game. I grew up in Michigan. We had ‘The Lions’, whom my father referred to as ‘The Pussycats”. It was an annual Thanksgiving TV tradition in our house to see them lose. If one wanted in-stadium football, one went to the college games, which. I am open to attending a pro-football game, provided it does not harm anybody. I cannot recall if Phoenix has a team.* Have you ever been to a professional football game? Who is your team?

Operated the home entertainment system. There are three control devices and there are even more in the cupboard. Why we have three I do not know. I can work none of them other than I sometimes discover how to turn down the volume. With effort I could figure them out, but I don’t watch TV other than when Someone is doing so, so he does it for us. We have subscriptions to certain channels that allow us to watch Dr. Who and movies. What I want to see is seldom available. Asking for something resembles The Monty Python Cheese shop sketch: I propose a movie and Someone says it isn’t available. In October I long to see several movies, apropos for the season. I hope Someone doesn’t charge more than reasonable attorneys fees to find them for me. Do you have a home entertainment center? Do you know how to use it, really?

Ate an oyster. Raw ones, anyway. Having majored in microbiology with curiosity towards the lifespan of parasites I will not eat anything raw. It is both surprising and not surprising people are fearful of touching things out of fear of contagion but think nothing about eating raw seafood. I am certain I’ve had fried oysters. After all, I’ve been to Howard Johnsons. Do you eat raw seafood? Have you ever been sick from doing so?

Vibriosis

Back-talked my parents. What can I say I was a good kid. At most I was resentful towards their conventional ways but being a good boy I didn’t tell them. At most I was a mardy one, even that wasn’t too long or intense. I must have modeled good manners to my brothers, as none of them ever back-talked either. This is a problem growing up in the Midwest with mostly Swiss-German genetics. In a way I feel deprived of having a normal adolescence. I remember I could be cheeky to my uncles but daren’t pull such with my aunts. Were you one to back-talk your parents?

Attended a production of “Grease“. And I don’t intend to do so. I’ve probably seen the entire movie/show through countless clips at “show tunes’ nights at the bars, but never the full movie from start to end. I hear tell it is quite popular to put on in High School productions (oh the horror) probably because it has a lot of chorus members. Have you ever been to a production of ‘Grease’?

Summoned demons to do my bidding. From what I read, this usually goes badly. I think Beelzebub et. al. would be sorely disappointed to learn I don’t want riches or power but someone to clean the house on a weekly basis. Summoning Might Maids is probably less hazardous and they do windows too. Have you ever summoned demons but instead of providing Faustian pleasures they gave you a haircut and a complete make over and you are too embarrassed to tell anyone?

*They volunteered to contribute some of their own, but were declined. “I have never flossed’ and “I have never eaten a vegetable, willingly’ were some of there less-than-charming confessions.

**I looked it up. The Cardinals. I don’t know if they are any good. Compared to The Lions they probably are.