Spo-reflections on Time

Someone went again to the office today. As the weekend chores were accomplished yesterday I have an open day. I could do nothing, which is rare and almost impossible for me to do. Mind! There is always something that needs doing, so ‘doing nothing’ is a choice to abstain from all those things asking my attention.

People covet status, wealth, and possessions but what I want most is Time. Every day I am given the same twenty four hours allowance I and everybody always gets but it feels more ephemeral and precious as I age. I don’t resent work and chores sucking up my time but the extraneous factors. I am limited myself to time online as it is my major time suck. Whenever I go onto the internet with a specific task it feels like walking down a street towards a specific destination but first I have to maneuver around all the pan handlers holding out their hands for my money. Seldom do I come away from websites feeling I hadn’t been lured into spending more time than I meant to do. Everything seems to literally pop up and say ‘Look at me! Pay me attention!’ Stores, roads, podcasts too are saturated with advertisements. One wants to wear blinders like a horse.

The first step to a problem is knowing you have a problem. The second step is not to unplug the internet but limit time there.* At home I try better to direct my hummingbird mind to stick with the one topic at hand before wandering off, losing orbit towards some shiny object.

Probably the main matter (and hardest) is to keep cognizant the question what is Time for. “Wasting time” and “doing nothing” are nebulous and highly-charged words. Most of my displeasure of ‘wasted time’ rests on the proposition I haven’t well defined what it means. I still remember my grandmother telling me reading novels are a waste of time, when I thought this was as an excellent way to spend Time. I need to do some-self analysis where this Time-Complex originates.**

Today is ironically Labor Day when I have the day off. I will go to the gym and for lunch I might make lentil soup. I could make a pasta dish for dinner (I have heaps). I might clean the living room which hasn’t had a proper cleaning in ages. Throughout the day my Time-Complex will be wondering (and judging) if I am using Time wisely or foolishly. Complexes cannot be banished but they can be dethroned as ‘not the boss of me’.

At the end of each day I write in my journal ‘what I did today”. Maybe today I will write ‘nothing’ and smile at the accomplishment.

*I stopped Twitter and most news sites. This feels quite nice.

**Not my parents. They enjoyed their leisure time. Sundays were spent watching sports and reading the NYT and doing the crossword puzzles -something my grandmother did NOT feel was wasting time.